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Possible Eating disorder 16 dd please help!

(8 Posts)
100lilgreen Mon 22-Aug-11 23:30:50

My dd has never been a good eater. She is extremely fussy. She only eats carbs, pasta, bread .. and also abit of meat, which would only be a tiny portion of chicken and beef that is very very well done so it is dry bassically. She hates vegetables and fruit and feels sick at the sight of salad. If a lettuce leaf or tomato arrives with her meal at a restaurant she'll start to kick up a fuss and refuse to eat it unless it is sent back. I always say it can just be taken off but she insists it is disgusting and will make her ill. She dreads each meal and doesn't even like the food she does eat, but knows she has to eat otherwise she will be hungry. She eats junk food alot but recently has started to stop that. Even though unhealthy, never minded her eating it because at least something was going inside her!
I have become increasinly worried this summer as she has become so thin and her BMI is now 17 which is underwieght. She is very bony and I have noticed her giving up with eating ( she used to just force pasta inside her because she was hungry). She went away for a month to a summer camp and came back as thin as ever telling me all she ate was crisps all day. She is nearly 5 foot 8 and weighs about 8 stone. what should i do?! she is beginning to refuse nearly all food now. is she anorexic? help me ! Thnks

madmouse Tue 23-Aug-11 08:35:42

You need to get professional help with this one. Start with your GP - you can go without her at first if you like.

You can also ring bEAT for advice.

100lilgreen Tue 23-Aug-11 21:42:15

Thank you, will look on beat

Canistaysane Tue 23-Aug-11 22:24:43

Is she unhappy about something as eating disorders can be emotion based. I am just talking from my own personal experience. In my twenties I dropped down to 8 stone, I am also around 5 ft 8. I was unhappy as my dad died when I was 20 and it took me a while to get over it. Glad to say I'm now around 11 stone. I would agree with madmouse though if she is willing to get help from GP then go for it.Or get advice from GP yourself on how you can help her.
Also try not to make a big deal out of it at meal times cause if she is doing it for attention this might make it worse.
I do hope I have helped you. good luck.

100lilgreen Tue 23-Aug-11 23:23:52

Thank you, nothing in particular to be unhappy. She was bullied at last school and took her out and she is now about to start her 3rd year at new school which she seems to love .. so can't think of anything else. She would normally tell me if there is something big which she is upset about

madmouse Tue 23-Aug-11 23:38:28

It doesn't have to be a big event that caused it - it is often something insidious to do with a loss of control.. because an eating disorder is always about control (also speaking from personal experience). Bullying is a big one, even if it was a few years ago. But it is important to deal with the problems in the here and now rather than what caused it, as the eating problem has started to live its own life and may have little to do with the initial trigger.

ImperialBlether Sat 27-Aug-11 12:17:18

I think you need to talk to a professional about her, even if you keep this from your daughter.

Could you arrange an appointment with a nutritionist for her? What she's actually eating, when she's eating, isn't good quality food and she needs better than that.

Does she take supplements? She really should be.

It must be very stressful for you and of course for her.

NanaNina Sat 27-Aug-11 17:49:33

My step grand-daughter aged 24 has an ED - anorexia in her case. She has had it since she was 14 and it comes and goes. The one thing you need to understand is that anorexia is not about eating. It is actually a mental illness and needs to be taken very seriously. I think someone mentioned attention seeking which is out of the question. As madmouse says, it is mostly about control, or feeling unable to control something, so can control the amount of food she eats (this is not necessarily at a conscious level) and agree bullying could well have caused this event though it was in the past. Also agree that you need to be concerned about the "here and now" and not the "then and there"
In my grdt's case it is most definitely related to when she was a child and her mother living with a man who was violent to her and the children. He also refused to let them have enough food.

I think the first thing you need to do is to talk to your daughter and let her know that you know she is not eating and getting thinner and thinner and this is very dangerous. She may open up to you if she doesn't have to "confess" as it were. This is what happened with my grdtr - she lives 200 miles away and we don't see her that often but I was just getting more and more worried about her. She gets lots of infections, throat, ears, chest etc.

My grdtr has told me that there are websites where anorexic girls (and it is usually girls) pass on tips to each other about hiding the fact that they are not eating - also tips about sewing small but heavy things into their bra if they are weighed in just underwear.

The thing about your daughter's phobia of certain foods may well be related but I don't have any knowledge of this. Yes B eat is a good site. Hope you get the help you daughter needs sooner rather than later.

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