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Help me have my boundaries respected

(6 Posts)
promomum Mon 15-Aug-11 19:39:13

I'm feeling overwhelmed and stressed. The good news is, I know what I need to do, the bad news is I can't get the family to take it seriously and help me out of it.

Here's the scenario - fulltime job, dh also works ft, two teenage dc aged 18 and 15. And a dog. No major worries atm thankfully, although like many people, our jobs don't seen to be secure and we're waiting to hear if we'll be next on the list of redundancies.

I've been physically ill recently and therefore exhausted when I come home from work. I've sent the ironing out to be done, employed a cleaner and told dh in no uncertain terms he needs to pull his weight more, which he is now doing to be fair to him.

But I badly need some "head space". To help me do that, I try to practice yoga at home. It makes a huge difference to my mental health when I can do so. But, no-one will give me a break of just half an hour to let me practice in the bedroom with no disturbances.

Tonight I came home from work and announced that come hell or high water I did not want to be disturbed because I wanted to do my yoga practice. I cooked dinner last night, it just needs to be heated up, so nothing else needed to be done.

I locked door bedroom door, started yoga. DD1 knocked on door within minutes to tell me dd2 (who is away this week) had texted. Why can't she get it? This is a repeat of the way dh behaved a few weeks ago - it's almost as if they're jealous of the time I ask to have to myself.

Last night I was sobbing because I felt so exhausted and overwhelmed and identified steps I need to take, but how can I get the family to let me do that, before I have a full-scale breakdown?

Getting to a yoga class isn't a practical option btw, and I'd like to just have half and hour to myself a day to do my yoga - it's not too much to ask, is it? But how the hell do I get them to take me seriously?

Thanks if you've stayed with me!

Chocattack Mon 15-Aug-11 21:16:35

If you finish work before it's dark have you considered coming home later and doing your yoga on the way home say in a secluded spot in a nearby park. I realise this may not be practical for safety reasons in your circumstances but this is something I would do.

Personally I'd avoid being in the house if you want "you" time. I'm assuming your kids/DH aren't disabled and are therefore able to be left alone. You're in a house of nearly all adults - it shouldn't fall disproportionally on your shoulders. Get firm with them and/or vote with your feet is my suggestion!

EveryonesJealousOfWeasleys Mon 15-Aug-11 21:47:47

Massive sign on the door/all round the house during your yoga time? They are used to having you on tap and maybe a firm gentle reminder might help.

Failing that, if they interrupt you, walk out. Come back an hour later and not before. Prepare for evacuation by packing your own version of the OFRS containing a flask of tea, a book and a warm jumper before you start yoga.

They will get the hint eventually.

madmouse Mon 15-Aug-11 22:10:26

Put a lock on the bedroom door and ignore all knocking. If you don't respond they will stop. It is also possible to do yoga with earplugs in.

promomum Tue 16-Aug-11 17:56:35

Really good suggestions here, thanks. I feel as though my head is going to explode at times - the 3 of them are all so bloody needy and don't respond to polite requests - I either have to go ballistic or I get ignored.

But, everyone except me and the dog are out tonight! I'm planning to get some housework done in peace, maybe go for a swim, then sit down with a good book - bliss!

EveryonesJealousOfWeasleys Mon 22-Aug-11 13:32:13

Any progress OP?

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