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Feel badly rejected

(6 Posts)
Bumblequeen Mon 15-Aug-11 00:16:06

I am fed up of making all the efforts with friends and family. I constantly feel overlooked and rejected. By nature I am quiet but appear confident. I have four siblings who get along with one another much more than they do with me. I call and leave messages and they do not get back to me. I later find out they communicate with one another and say they intend to call but never do.
Ever since a child I have felt out of place, like I do not belong in this world. It is hard to explain but such a lonely feeling. Whenever I experience any form of rejection the past comes flooding back.

timidviper Mon 15-Aug-11 00:24:43

Try not to feel bad bumblequeen. I could have written your post too, I feel that I make so much effort for no return with both family and friends.

There was a thread a few weeks ago about loneliness and it turns out that so many of us on here feel like we have never really fitted in and feel really alone. It has been a consolation to me to know that I am not the only one.

I wish I had some sensible advice. Have you spoken to any of your family or friends about it? I know, on the odd occasion when I have said anything, people find it hard to believe. I do sympathise though.

Bumblequeen Mon 15-Aug-11 08:39:13

They have never understood. Being on the outside is lonely. I tried hard to maintain friendships after having DD and realises some friends have completely lost interest in me. I really do not believe I am an obsessed mother who babbles on about her child's every move. If anything I try hard NOT to bore them with 'baby talk'. To make matters worse my cousin is close to a few of my friends. They meet regularly, go for meals , plan holidays etc none of which I am involved in. My cousin is happy to fill me in on it all, completely unaware that I feel shut out and unwanted. I feel my cousin likes the fact that she 'feeds' me all the information about them as it makes her feel special. I find it so patronising when she reasssures me with "They do ask about you and said they intend to call you".

Forgot to add that photos and plans are placed on their Facebook pages. On the odd occasion I have commented on their photographs and never receive a message of acknowledgement.

My problem is I cannot accept they have moved on and try to be in their lives but I am literally chasing them.

timidviper Wed 17-Aug-11 00:27:34

Sometimes you just have to write some friendships off and just get on with living your own life and putting yourself first. Maybe you have to either take the initiative and invite them to something or decide they are not worth the effort. I read something a while ago that said as long as we hold onto old stuff and relationships we don't have any room in our lives for new things to come in. You sound like a nice person who just needs some nicer friends!

NanaNina Wed 17-Aug-11 10:56:54

Hi Bumblequeen. Re the last sentence to your OP - "whenever I experience any form of rejection the past comes flooding back" - you may not want to say but that sentence is important. Did something happen in the past and you were rejected, because if so, it would seem that this is the root of your problem. Sorry if I am barking up the wrong tree.

noraa Fri 19-Aug-11 22:34:57

if you tried everything and still feel outside,r then can't you try to find new friends?
maybe you will find better friends and it will be good for you.

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