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PND with baby 1, what about having another?

(3 Posts)
Waytooslow Fri 29-Jul-11 20:50:05

Hi

I had PND with my first baby who is now 19 months. I was very anxious and struggled to be alone with my him as I felt I couldn't cope. I have panic symptoms when he cries in the night, and I am still not 100% well, especially when facing a day by myself with him. I am now back at work full time and it is getting easier, however I'm still on prozac. I swore 100% that I'd never have another baby as I had such a bad time and hated being on maternity leave.

What is very wierd though, is that my biological clock has started ticking again. I feel like I really want to have another baby, even though my head is telling me that it's a crazy thing to put myself through that again. I love my son, he is brilliant and in hindsight, was and is a really good baby. My list of reasons not to have another baby is long but the clock is driving me to really want another one!

I've discussed it with my amazingly supportive husband and he says that although he'd like a second, he doesn't want me to suffer like I did before. I am nearly 38 so if I were to have a second, I'd have to get on with it.

Is there anyone else out there who is going through or has gone through the same thing?

SilveryMoon Fri 29-Jul-11 20:54:36

Hi.
I was diagnosed with PND with ds2.
I also believe I had it with ds1. I didn't talk about it the first time though because I was scared of what people would think and that the doctors would take ds1 away blush

There is 18 months between my 2 boys and ds1 was in the terrible 2's when ds2 was born.
It was hard, but for me, not as tough as ds1.
Ok, so the second time round I had the prozac but I also didn't expect as much of myself as I did the first time iyswim.
I knew not to put too much pressure on myself, and that it was ok to strugge because it would get better.

Obviously can't say how it will be for you.
I have no advice, I'm sorry.

Choccyhol10 Fri 29-Jul-11 21:05:15

I had PND with my first child. He wasn't an easy baby. Screamed for hours on end. When my health visitor visited for the first time I told her that I wanted to throw him out of the window. She was very supportive and used to visit or ring everyday. I have ideas about what made this so hard: first time mum, no mother of my own to help or discuss problems with. Being a mum for the first time is a massive shock to the system. No-one prepares us for how hard it will be.
Second time round, I did not have PND (also aged 38). Some mums have it every time. It is possible that it is a combination of hormones and anxieties and possibly links in with our own experience of our own mother.
Don't be out off having another. But be realistic as it could happen again. No-one can say it won't and I'd love to tell you that, but I can't. What I would say is put things in place that can help you if you do get it again and question why you got it. Was it hormones, or perhaps a combination of other factors. Talk to professionals about what you can do if you have it. You do sound scared, worried and PND can be horrible.

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