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how do you cope with horrible horrible depression

(31 Posts)
lottieloulou Mon 25-Jul-11 21:33:24

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WhiteWillowHypnotherapy Mon 25-Jul-11 23:23:48

Hi Lotteloulou,

I am sorry to hear you are feeling so low.

You are so right, you do need to look after yourself and you have made a start already.

Have you had any talking therapy? Medication is good to a certain point but it doesn't solve the underlying problem or enable you to cope with daily challenges and that is really where you need to begin.

I am a hypnotherapist and specialise in this area, I have seen such amazing benefits of hypnotherapy not only with clients but on a personal level as well, it totally changed my life for the better within weeks.

Maybe you could look for a hypnotherapist in your area or something like a Cognitive behavioral therapist who both help you change the way you are thinking, put you back in total control of your thoughts and feelings and give you really positive coping techniques to use every single day.

Two children are very demanding so maybe you could find a therapist that can come to your house in the evening when they are in bed.

I really do wish you all the best and if you would like any information please feel free to ask.

p.s. Have a look on the internet how hypnotherapy can help with depression.

purplepidjin Mon 25-Jul-11 23:43:59

I try to find something I can be proud of every day. On bad days, that's getting washed and dressed by lunchtime (I don't have dc's so this might be easier for me). Or, it's getting up, going to work, and coming home without letting the service users see how i'm feeling. On good days, it's cleaning the bathroom/kitchen/hoovering, or making something to sell (I sew and crochet - very therapeutic and I'm trying to start my own business). Instant, visible results are the best!

Yours might be child related, so enduring an hour of whining without shouting and packing them off to their rooms. Or making dinner instead of opening a packet? Arty crafty activities are great for this, because you get the instant results - a nice picture for Grandma/Aunty and Uncle, fold lots of card in half and get them to splodge paint on = instant Christmas card - start now and do enough and you'll save a fortune by December wink

It's kind of like a grown-up version of a reward scheme, and you can reward yourself accordingly with chocolate and wine. Save up for a facial/massage, or new shoes/handbag, or a babysitter so you can have an evening out...

I swapped Venlafaxine for exercise just over a month ag, which has made a huge difference to not only the hormone levels in my brain but being proud of myself for losing a stone (weight gain as one of the side effects). You might find that an hour or two of gym/swimming/exercise class without the dcs makes the rest of the time easier to bear? I had an exercise prescription from the dr which gave me 1/2 price sessions at the council gym but im a lazy arse so dp is paying for me to train at a private gym with a trainer I'll see if I can google the research if you like? There's a proven medical link between exercise and seretonin levels - hence the cheap gym sessions smile

lottieloulou Wed 27-Jul-11 18:33:36

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purplepidjin Wed 27-Jul-11 19:13:49

How you doing today?

reallytired Wed 27-Jul-11 23:38:13

I am sorry to hear that you are suffering so much. I have experienced extreme depression and I really feel for you.

This book has really helped me.

The resilence factor

Also the website www.livinglifetothefull.com

How long have you been on medication. It may well be a good idea to have a review with your GP. Prehaps you would make more progress with a different drug.

RobintheRobin Thu 28-Jul-11 11:26:31

Hi Lottieloulou,
I agree with reallytired that it might be a case of needing a change of medication. The one you're on might just not be working.
I can only go on my own experience, but I was on one type of anti-depressant for about 8 years and still felt like utter crap, even on a very high dose. It was only when I switched to another one that I realised how much difference the right med can actually make. It was absolutely life changing.....
Maybe worth thinking about.

Good luck.xxxx

lottieloulou Thu 28-Jul-11 12:02:58

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RobintheRobin Thu 28-Jul-11 14:47:05

So do you think the med ur taking now maybe just is 'taking the edge off' of ur depression? I had the same....first med doing something (just about able to cope), so must be working, and I thought maybe this is what anti-depressants actually do. But I never felt actually good or ok.
But switching has given me a life I never thought I would ever lead.... I had the lightbulb moment that actually, if you find the right one, this is what a good med can do. Instead of feeling 90% crap most of the time, with bouts of 110% crap, I feel, well, normal, happy.

Sorry, I know there is no easy answer here and what I can advise may not be the right thing at all for you. It's easy to sit here and say oh yeah do this, it worked for me, but you have to find your own solution and in ur own time. Plus changing meds is quite a major decision!
I dunno, I spent too many miserable years I regret when things could have been a lot better, so even if changing your meds is just another option you hold on to and know is open to you, and has helped others, it's something to think on.

I really wish you good luck and hope things improve for you, even just a little bit, very soon.xxx

natsyloo Sun 31-Jul-11 20:28:12

How are you doing LLL? Hope you're feeling a little better..

kizzie Mon 01-Aug-11 08:28:29

RobinRobin very interested what youa re saying re. changing ad.

I am in simlar position at the moment. Functioning and some ok times but still lots of horrible downturns sad.

Can you say a bit more about what happened when you changed - and from which type of medication?

Thanks!

LLL - hope you are feeling a bit better

Lottieloulou Mon 01-Aug-11 12:07:44

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kizzie Mon 01-Aug-11 12:53:24

LLL good that you sound a bit brighter today. smile

Blips or 'bloody F%^** Blips' as I like to call them (!) are a big problem for me too. Im having one at the moment.

Its great that you are able to enjoy time with your friends etc - but it is a difficult question as to whether you are feeling as good as you could do.

I'm in a very similar position at the moment. Dont want to risk going right back down again by changing things inc medication - but knowing that really Im not as stable as I really wish I could be if things were all ok.

RobintheRobin Mon 01-Aug-11 13:03:32

Hi Kizzie & LLL, glad I could share my experience here and hope you’re both doing ok today.

I changed to Fluoxetine (Prozac) from roughly 8 years on Venlafaxine about 3 years ago and have never looked back; except with regret that I didn’t do it sooner.
I think I decided to make the switch because I saw friends who were also long-term on anti-depressants and they were managing ok, they didn’t self-harm or were suicidal, they were often happy and in control of their moods, and they were coping with their lives, whereas I was struggling everyday. They advised me it didn’t have to be like that, and the right medication can make a huge difference. I resisted for ages….what if I change and I feel even worse? But eventually I got fed-up of living this ‘second-rate’ life and knew I had to try something.

It wasn’t all roses straight away when I made the switch and it took a few months and a few blips before the Prozac was working, but after those initial months the gradual change I felt in myself and my mood was amazing.
I guess I was lucky that the first med I changed to was the one for me and that it works so well. Only thing is, and you guys probably know this already, that if you’re gonna change you have to be in a fairly strong and somewhat stable place mentally before you do it, and get as much support as you can, cos it’s a major thing to do.

LLL, I’ve been on several different meds, including Sertraline, which gave me some pretty crappy side-effects, but I’ve found I’ve had really minimal side-effects with Prozac (reading up on it this seems to be the case with many who take Prozac). It’s also widely known to make you more energetic! (Instead of the sluggish tiredness of most anti-depressants).

Hope this might help in someway. Hope you both find solutions that are gonna make your lives better, you deserve a better quality of life than it sounds like you’re having at the moment.

xxx

Lottieloulou Mon 01-Aug-11 13:28:34

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kizzie Mon 01-Aug-11 17:58:47

Hi robinrobin thanks for coming back and posting that really useful to read. Ive had a very difficult day today so really thinking about my options.

I keep a very detailed journal of bad days (when I feel good obviously I completely forget about it smile. But still useful because i can see the pattern of good days by looking at where I havent filled it in. There are definately too many bad days to be seen as proper stability.

I think Im going to try and get through this blip** and then get back a bit of confidence and see where I am then.

** Took all my cbt skills to say that - as in my head im thinking 'I'll never get over this blip. I'll never feel ok again etc etc etc blush confused

Hope you are doing ok tody LLL

Lottieloulou Mon 01-Aug-11 18:35:27

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TheOriginalFAB Mon 01-Aug-11 18:37:38

Could you go away alone for a night or two? I have depression and am also not very well at the moment with normal illnesses and it is very difficult at the moment to stay here tbh. Mums rarely get proper breaks and we really need them.

Lottieloulou Mon 01-Aug-11 21:10:18

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NanaNina Mon 01-Aug-11 21:11:31

Hi LL and Kizzie. Blips are the pits - you and I have talked about this before haven't we Kizzie. Like you I keep a record and only record when I am having a blip. I still see the cons psych every 3 months and just before he came in June I added up the bad days or mixed days and good days March April and May), and had 75% good and 25% bad or mixed. It did help me to see that I should be grateful that it isn't the other way round. But the bloody blips are so awful aren't they, and like you LL I get frustrated that they are still coming a year after hospital discharge.

I think one of the worse things for me is the unpredictability of it all, as I can go to bed feeling fine and wake feeling flat, empty, totally unmotivated and spend a lot of the day in tears. Mine last on average 4-5 days but I once had one that lasted 15 days. Went for all of May and half of June feeling fine and was just starting to dare believe they had finally gone, when bang I was hit with some really bad days from the middle to end June.

I don't feel in control of my life - I can only make arrangements with the proviso that I might not be able to make it. I have a son, dil and gr/chdrn in Ireland and I have to book ahead (we go about every 6 weeks) as I miss my gr/chdrn so much, but then dread it in case a blip descends just before I go - (this has happened twice) and I've managed to struggle through.

Kizzie I know you have been struggling with blips for a long time - and you will get over this one - you've got over all the others haven't you. Have you any idea in % terms of your good and bad/mixed days. When I am in a blip I try hard to think of each day as a day nearer being "me" again - not that anything works very much when you're in one, does it.

Love to all of us blip sufferers - maybe we could start a support group but we will be scattered all over the country of course, but we could start one on here couldn't we.

TheOriginalFAB Mon 01-Aug-11 21:23:31

Don't worry about whether you would want to come back. Just concentrate on sorting yourself a break smile.

natsyloo Mon 01-Aug-11 22:20:06

..just chipping in to say I too used to keep a mood diary to get me through the blips. I tried realy hard to rate the day and then write 3 positive things, even when I was having the sh***est days. Weirdly, when I read them back a while ago, I had still managed to write some really nice things. Through CBT I realised I revert to black and white thinking when am down so rather than seeing it as 'all completely awful' I was able to pull out some positives.

I'm not saying it's the easiest thing to do (sometimes I really struggled writing 3 positive things so just wrote what I could), but it might just help a bit with your mood and perception of blips.

TheOriginalFAB Tue 02-Aug-11 09:43:06

natsyloo - that sounds like a good idea and one I will consider. TBH what is causing me problems is better when I don't think about it at all never mind write about it, so not sure how it will work for me. Hope you are doing okay.

kizzie Tue 02-Aug-11 09:53:54

LLL - hope today ok for you.

Hi NanaNina - was wondering how you are. Glad things are going ok. Do you think your new dose has finally settled in? Agree totally re. the not being in control and being afraid to plan things. its had such a huge impact on my life and confidence levels. (Ive just been given a promotion to work on a particular project which i know that Im more than capable of doing when Im ok - but I hate the thought that i may let people down if Im going through a blip when it comes up. And I dont seem to have any control over the blips).

Im at about 60% good 40% now for the last few months - altho June was much better / July harder.

My longest blips have been about 15 days - this one is on day 12. And the other issue is that there isnt a huge gap in between them.

Anyway - sorry for moaning.

Hope you dont mind us all chatting on your thread LLL. Do you have any childcare? And if not could you look into booking some - even just for a few hours a week so that you have a guaranteed break?

Lottieloulou Tue 02-Aug-11 13:01:09

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