Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Feeling very sorry for myself and low.

(7 Posts)
toptramp Mon 20-Jun-11 18:48:42

My mum has terminal cancer and as a single mum I have no support. i am really feeling upset and that I have no life. I was supposed to be working at Glastonbury but had to cancel as my mum may die at any time. So what do I have to look foward to? A dead mum. I can't even go out and enjoy myself as I've no money for a sitter.
And I hate being a mum at the moment. i miss my social life, I miss my career and I miss having money. I just want a supportive dp but I am having no luck in that area either. How can I cheer myself up?

NurseSunshine Mon 20-Jun-11 19:09:18

Hi, I don't think I can offer any useful advice but didn;t want to leave you here unanswered. Am really really sorry about your mum and that you;'re feeling lonely sad
Have you got any friends who could come and spend the evening in with you?

GrownUpNow Mon 20-Jun-11 20:38:50

I'm really sorry that you are losing your mum, it must be really difficult for you given all your other stressors.

What do you like to do? I tend to read a good fantasy book when things are really tough, to distract myself. Get friends round if you can. Eat food you like. Talk to family and get their support. Listen to music that is uplifting for you.

Spend as much time with your mum as you can, we never did when my Auntie was terminal because she gave the impression of being more well than she was. My biggest regret was not spending more time saying goodbye.

Much love to you, it's a difficult time. xxx

RoseWei Mon 20-Jun-11 22:41:30

Thinking of you, toptramp. Agree that you spend all the time you and she want and need with your mum. You won't regret it. These can be the most precious, special, loving days.

Can you make a list of what you need/what you want/how to achieve/steps you need to take/possibilities - and work systematically to get things where you want them to be.

Could you not resume your career? Do you have another job or are your DC very little?

I met my DH in an unlikely place - on a vocational course - I already had a very little one, was a single mum - and really wasn't expecting anything so this came out of the blue - and now we have 3DSs and a fairly long marriage behind us.

Don't beat yourself up about your life - do try to enjoy it as it happens - and enjoy the kids - and take time to be with your mum who you obviously love very, very much.

Be good to yourself - xx

toptramp Mon 20-Jun-11 22:51:35

Hi all thanks so much for your help. When I am on good form I do love being a mum but because of everything that's happening I get on a bit of a downer.
The sodding council didn't pay my housing benefit today when they told me they would because I changed my bank details a month ago. I am so fed up of relying on benefits. It's awful.
My family can't support me because dad is already up to his neck in it with mum. My sister is lovely but has a supportive dp and no kids and dosn'r really get it. When I say I hate being a single mum she says ''it's not your dds fault or it's not my fault'' which really isn't helpful. I was an arse today as dad just ignored my dd meaning she came to find me and I just want her to go away.
I said ''he isn't supporting me'' and my sister jumped down my throat. I didn't mean it like that but I feel very unsupported at the moment.It's not is fault but I just feel that I shouldn't moan about my dd as she is so georgeous. Georgeous yes but also very, very hard work.

toptramp Mon 20-Jun-11 22:52:47

I have a wonderful job. It's just a shop job and crap money but to me my job is my salvation. I just love the break!

naturalbaby Mon 20-Jun-11 22:56:45

Is your dd in nursery or school, or is she still really young? I've got a young baby and keep thinking about going back to work but always planned to wait till my babies are old enough to be in nursery or school so have a while to wait yet.
I'm feeling a bit unsupported at the moment too, am wondering about phoning the health visitor tomorrow to see what she can offer.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: