hi toto....i just wanted to say, don't panic about panicking! i don't know if your GP has explained to you about what happens in your brain in situations like this....
when your overall stress levels are high, the part of our mind that deals with survival starts to take over. this part of the mind will release chemicals to ready you for fight or flight. in your case the fight mechanism is kicking in. that means that your mind is being flooded with chemicals getting you ready to be able to fight danger....pumping more blood around your body (fast beating heart, sweating, etc.), looking out for and focusing on anything that could be dangerous (in today's case it's focused on your children at the party) and obsessing negatively about it (thinking something bad could be happening). it won't let you stop thinking about it (keeping on looking out of the window) because when those chemicals are present the mind thinks you need to deal with that danger in order to survive.
From what you've said in your messages it sounds like you have at least 2 small children so it's not surprising your overall stress is up! i know it's difficult to find time for yourself when you have children, especially such a young baby; but it should help if you can take 10 mins here & there, maybe when feeding the baby to relax your whole body and focus your mind on pleasant thoughts and images....perhaps focusing on how you would like things to be and what life will look like when your anxiety is improved. practicing this often will help reduce the amount of stress chemicals being released and encourage the calming, 'feel good' chemicals.
i hope this helps....these anxiety problems can be scary, but when we understand what causes them it can help to not feel so scared when they happen. keep focusing on the good stuff, it will help
toto....with children those ages i can only begin to imagine how busy you are! it must be an absolute joy in your house....such funny memories they create at those ages
my youngest two are 14 and 13 now. i had them 11 months apart and remember how it was....same as you, i was really happy in myself but constantly worried....i now know that my stress levels must have been high cos i used to worry about all sorts of stuff and not necessarily anything to do with the kids!
the interrupted sleep doesn't help either...when we have worries or negative thoughts or stresses etc., we store them in a 'stress bucket' in the mind. during REM sleep this stress bucket gets emptied through the process of dreaming (you know how when something happens during the day and it really irritates or annoys you and then you go to sleep and in the morning you've forgotten it? that's because it was in your stress bucket and through dreaming you've emptied it out!) if our stress bucket get's too high we move into the survival part of the mind which releases those chemicals i was explaining in my last message, because the stress has risen and the mind thinks there's danger. so of course, if your REM is constantly interrupted it's more difficult to empty your 'stress bucket'!....so i hope you manage to get some 'time out' and some sleep to empty your stress bucket!! ....and that you remember to have happy thoughts and ideas when you're feeding the baby!