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bloody anxiety!!

(11 Posts)
TotorosOcarina Sun 19-Jun-11 16:31:08

kids are next door at birthday party, DH is with them.

They have been gone 2 hours now and I'm starting sad my heart feels heavy and compressed and I'm panicking sad

madmouse Sun 19-Jun-11 16:37:38

About anything in particular Toto? Panicking about the kids or finding it hard to be alone?

TotorosOcarina Sun 19-Jun-11 16:38:48

about the kids mouse,

I want to keep looking out the bedroom window to check on them but it makes it worse cdause if i cant see one i will start freaking out

madmouse Sun 19-Jun-11 16:45:41

Annoying isn't it - that kind of anxiety. I know it well enough although it's not so bad anymore.

Does it help if I say that you would have noticed it if something was wrong?

TotorosOcarina Sun 19-Jun-11 17:00:13

i'm a mess, dh just brought dd home to change her bum and hes bringing them all back at quarter past (it is first day back to school tomorrow and they need dinner and baths)#

am crying, i need to get back on my medication now DS is 6 weeks old

madmouse Sun 19-Jun-11 17:25:09

hope you can see your doctor soon x

Kerrihypnotherapy Sun 19-Jun-11 22:44:39

hi toto....i just wanted to say, don't panic about panicking! i don't know if your GP has explained to you about what happens in your brain in situations like this....

when your overall stress levels are high, the part of our mind that deals with survival starts to take over. this part of the mind will release chemicals to ready you for fight or flight. in your case the fight mechanism is kicking in. that means that your mind is being flooded with chemicals getting you ready to be able to fight danger....pumping more blood around your body (fast beating heart, sweating, etc.), looking out for and focusing on anything that could be dangerous (in today's case it's focused on your children at the party) and obsessing negatively about it (thinking something bad could be happening). it won't let you stop thinking about it (keeping on looking out of the window) because when those chemicals are present the mind thinks you need to deal with that danger in order to survive.

From what you've said in your messages it sounds like you have at least 2 small children so it's not surprising your overall stress is up! i know it's difficult to find time for yourself when you have children, especially such a young baby; but it should help if you can take 10 mins here & there, maybe when feeding the baby to relax your whole body and focus your mind on pleasant thoughts and images....perhaps focusing on how you would like things to be and what life will look like when your anxiety is improved. practicing this often will help reduce the amount of stress chemicals being released and encourage the calming, 'feel good' chemicals.

i hope this helps....these anxiety problems can be scary, but when we understand what causes them it can help to not feel so scared when they happen. keep focusing on the good stuff, it will help smile

TotorosOcarina Mon 20-Jun-11 08:41:15

that was really helpful kerri, thankyou.

i have 4 children aged 6,5 , 2 and 6 weeks so am a bit busy smile

i've never had it explained to me like that, it might help to ubderstand whats going on physically to help me control whats going on

x

mondaymorning Mon 20-Jun-11 08:52:21

When it happens again, trying lengthening your exhalation, say breathe in for 4 counts exhale for 6-8 counts.

Could you have PND? Maybe worth speaking to your doctor/hv. Are you breastfeeding?

I felt like this when ds was little, still sometimes get anxious when he is not with me.

TotorosOcarina Mon 20-Jun-11 21:12:25

its not PND ive always had it x am not depressed, am actually very happy but am constantly worrying and then i do get down about the worrying but not cause of the kids iykwim?

Kerrihypnotherapy Mon 20-Jun-11 23:23:27

toto....with children those ages i can only begin to imagine how busy you are! it must be an absolute joy in your house....such funny memories they create at those ages smile

my youngest two are 14 and 13 now. i had them 11 months apart and remember how it was....same as you, i was really happy in myself but constantly worried....i now know that my stress levels must have been high cos i used to worry about all sorts of stuff and not necessarily anything to do with the kids!

the interrupted sleep doesn't help either...when we have worries or negative thoughts or stresses etc., we store them in a 'stress bucket' in the mind. during REM sleep this stress bucket gets emptied through the process of dreaming (you know how when something happens during the day and it really irritates or annoys you and then you go to sleep and in the morning you've forgotten it? that's because it was in your stress bucket and through dreaming you've emptied it out!) if our stress bucket get's too high we move into the survival part of the mind which releases those chemicals i was explaining in my last message, because the stress has risen and the mind thinks there's danger. so of course, if your REM is constantly interrupted it's more difficult to empty your 'stress bucket'!....so i hope you manage to get some 'time out' and some sleep to empty your stress bucket!! smile smile ....and that you remember to have happy thoughts and ideas when you're feeding the baby! smile

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