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Wrong to want a baby after severe PND??

(10 Posts)
choklit Fri 17-Jun-11 10:36:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

didldidi Fri 17-Jun-11 10:43:40

yes, sorry.

darleneoconnor Fri 17-Jun-11 10:50:56

It's not wrong to want one. What does your dh think? Did you have pnd with the others? Why do you think yo7 had it that time? There are some preventative measures you could put in place. Also look at why you want another one, is it partly to ' make up for' last time? Ive felt this? Are you young enough to leave it a few years so you dont have 4 very young dcs, which is bound to be stressful.

lottieloulou Fri 17-Jun-11 12:29:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

choklit Fri 17-Jun-11 12:39:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeckyBendyLegs Fri 17-Jun-11 13:20:08

Oh my - I'm in a similar position although I think my pnd, if it was that, was quite mild after DS3 (and I think I had it after the first two as well to varying degrees - who knows?). If DH turned to me and said 'let's have one more' I'd jump at the chance. I'm 40 at Christmas. You are certainly not wrong to want another one. And you have the advantage that you would be able to recogise the signs of pnd if (and if, it is not a given) it happens again. You would be much more able to cope in my opinion.

GetDownYouWillFall Fri 17-Jun-11 13:21:53

You have to do what is right for you and your family. It is very ignorant of anyone to suggest that it is selfish to have another baby just because you had PND. There are loads of things they can do to help prevent it happening again, or to at least make it less severe. The fact you have been through it means they will support and monitor you better next time.

This is what is happening with me - I had severe PND and was in a M&B unit for 3 months. I'm pregnant again now and am being seen once a month and am really well, not on any medication at all.

PND, whilst awful and hideous and a terrible strain on everyone, is temporary. I don't believe you should be made to feel guilty about having another child if that's what is right for your family. But you do need to do what is right for your whole family (DH, and the other kids) not just what feels right to you.

IntergalacticHussy Tue 21-Jun-11 11:16:59

It's not wrong to want another baby. But it's only fair to look at the situation you were in when you had PND and see what the factors were besides childbirth, and put together some kind of plan to make sure that if you do have another you can minimise the risk i.e if you were unsupported and felt isolated try and wait until you have a proper network around you, people you can fall back on, that kind of thing.

JarethTheGoblinKing Tue 21-Jun-11 11:21:15

It's not wrong, of course not. Agree that making a plan to help manage it if you do go ahead with TTC is a good idea. Some ADs are suitable to take while pg (AFAIK) and you can always go back on your normal ADs after the birth.

Was there something different with your third DC that sparked it off? I had PND with DS and it was awful, and only just now thinking of TTC 3 years later, and happy with myself that I'd be strong enough to cope, have plan/mechanism in order should it happen again.

How old is your youngest? Have you given the ADs time to do their thing and do you think you could cope with possible antenatal depression?

JarethTheGoblinKing Tue 21-Jun-11 11:23:10

Sorry OP, x posted with you.

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