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Nobody Said It was Easy...Nobody Said It Would Be This Hard

(12 Posts)
Trestired Tue 14-Jun-11 08:53:07

Hello! I'm new and if I don't have some contac with the outside world soon I may put my head in the oven...well I would if I didn't have the baby...

I used to be a professional...articulate...fulfilled...happy....and now I am just a moaning, boring mummy. Nothing exciting happens. I don't have any money. The Wright Stuff is about the only mental stimulation I now get.

If this carries on I am likely to end up as a single parent. Relationship is on the rocks because I am a nightmare to live with. Picking fights. Moody. etc..

All my friend gush at the marvellousness of motherhood. I am finding it difficult and sometimes boring.

Is this normal?

ThatllDoPig Tue 14-Jun-11 09:02:20

Yes! Normal.
You need to get out and meet other mums that you can connect with. How old is your dc?

BeckyBendyLegs Tue 14-Jun-11 09:46:40

Absolutely normal. People just don't talk about it in the real world and they put on this happy mummy front. I don't know why. Everyone does it. Motherhood is a wonderful thing, and now I have three I love it, but it can be also incredibly boring and mind-numbing, especially when you go from having a working life and / or a career to watching the Wright Stuff every morning and nappies and feeding, etc. How old is your baby? I know how you feel. It doens't last for ever. I felt exactly the same after the birth of my first DS and we used to watch GMTV together every morning at 7am with the huge long day ahead of us. It doesn't last forever x

Trestired Tue 14-Jun-11 11:09:24

Oh Thanks! : )The baby is now 3 months. He is wonderful and of course I love him to the ends of the earth and wouldn't change a thing but I feel like I've lost all of my power.

It's hard now because I don't feel I have anything to offer in conversation wih my OH apart from...'Oh the baby did this today'. And then if he has to work late or goes for a couple of drinks I end up in moody cow central after spending hours convincing myself that he doesn't care about my life and is probably having an affair etc, which then leads to a row and so the cycle continues.

I do need to get out more and have a life again but I get nervous about meeting new people and foolishly, didn't think that I would need company. How I laugh now.

In the old days if we had a row I could go out, meet friends and sulk where ever I wanted. It is impossible to flounce out announcing that he can stick the relationship up his bum when you have a little one. Gathering bottles and nappies before going somehow takes away from the statement. : )

ThatllDoPig Tue 14-Jun-11 11:15:43

Come on here and have a moan anytime, about anything, there's always someone to listen and understand, and lots of funny life assuring stuff on here too.
And you definatly won't feel like this forever.

bittersweetvictory Tue 14-Jun-11 11:21:25

Mostly normal but i would talk to HV about it just in case, could be PND but you dont sound too bad, try this just in case.

Trestired Tue 14-Jun-11 11:29:27

Ha! At least I have found somewhere to sound off. I was half expecting to get a load of 'Well you should have thought about this before you had kids.'

All mothers must be outwardly overly enthusiastic because admitting you feel like this is like saying you hate kids and wish you'd never have them and then the gods might punish you by doing something horrific to make you regret your words.

Perhaps this is for 'relationship' section but doesn't this sound odd to you....

We had a big barny so I went to stay with my sister for a few weeks then came back. Upon my return there was new bedding, flowers (half dead) in the room to 'brighten the place up' (odd) and a pack of face wipes that do not belong to me. He claims he doesn't know who they belong to. I know they are not mine. Now relationship back in tatters because of my lack of mistrust...I do trust him... If only I could hack into his email and Facebook...Haha

Trestired Tue 14-Jun-11 11:32:34

I am deeply suspicious of people who give it the big trust soliloqy.(sp?)

ThatllDoPig Tue 14-Jun-11 16:26:46

Weird about the face wipes. Does he remember buying them? Were they used? - I mean was the packet open?
My dh came home from a business trip with womens hairgrips in his suitcase which I knew weren't ever mine.
we worked out that we had lent the suitcase to a friend ages ago and they were hers!
he was upset that i even asked but however much you trust someone you are still going to be curious about that kind of thing.
Ask your man how he would feel if you had come home with a man's deoderant in your bag that wasn't his?
Excuse one handed typing in the middle. Due to baby.
Good luck in talking it through.

sarahloula Tue 14-Jun-11 18:56:45

I can relate. I am the mother of a now 2 month old baby and absolutely love her to bits but I have found the transition from career to motherhood difficult. It's not helped by everyone telling me how happy I should be and sad for missing work. I will be returning to work when DD will be 4 months old. I'm lucky in that I will be leaving her with DH who works from home a lot or my sister. Lots of people have commented that they can't believe how early I'm going back and almost made me feel like I'm abandoning my daughter. Would part time work be an option? I figure the happier I am the happier she'll be and my decision has nothing to do with how much I love her.

In the meantime I have been making an effort to go out more (I have been guilty of staying in the house too much), shopping trips, meeting up with friends and joined mummyfit with a friend of mine. I have found meting with other mums has helped, makes you feel a bit better that you're not the only one with worries/anxieties.

Trestired Wed 15-Jun-11 09:30:43

I can't believe how nice everyone is on here. At least some contact with the outside world.

I am going to make myself go to a baby group and if nobody talks to me I might stand in the midle of the room and shout 'Who wants to go to the pub and really get stuck into slagging off the man who got you here?!' (I know, I know...some men are brilliant, not all the same etc...)

You know you are really being defeatist when you think, I actually wouldn't blame him if he WAS having an affair.' Ha! As if...I'd smack his bloody head in and set the CSA on him. (They always look a bit faint when those three letters come up.)

karyncake Sat 18-Jun-11 11:46:14

I remember the first 6 months with my first were the longest days of my life and to make it worse the only things we could do was go to baby groups and sit about talking and looking at MORE babies, it drove me mad!
As dd got older and became more interactive we could have more fun and going to groups seeing her interact with other children was fun (until she started hitting them but that is another story).

I agree it is hard to spontaneously storm out the house but in my case I was never very good at that anyway. I fell flat on my face tripping over the doorstep in a huff.

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