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Depression Getting Worse?

(31 Posts)
zukiecat Mon 13-Jun-11 20:36:03

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zukiecat Mon 13-Jun-11 21:19:03

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zukiecat Mon 13-Jun-11 23:12:00

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Keziahhopes Mon 13-Jun-11 23:31:41

Hi, I dont think anyone is really around right now zukiecat. It is good you have cbt, but I guess it is too soon to make a difference right now. Perhaps your gp and cbt therapist can give you some tips or tools to help you get through what you need to with that school function. It sounds like you are doing all the right things - medication, regulat gp support and therapy - I hope it works fo ryou.

zukiecat Mon 13-Jun-11 23:53:43

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Keziahhopes Tue 14-Jun-11 22:41:53

Hope that function has gone well for you and that your therapist and gp sessions can help you. You have that support in place, but it may take some time before you reap any more tangible benefits so hope you can hold that hope and build slowly for more positive times ahead.

Meglet Tue 14-Jun-11 22:49:11

Has anything triggered your depression to make it worse?

You sound like you have the right support team and it's early days with the CBT so stick with it.

Hope this evening went well smile.

zukiecat Wed 15-Jun-11 09:39:47

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Keziahhopes Wed 15-Jun-11 18:28:15

So sorry that your Mother was invalidating you and distressing you. I have been able to put barriers between me and Mum - in form of miles, which has helped matters but words still hurt.

Glad you went, am sure that meant a lot to your kids.

zukiecat Wed 15-Jun-11 19:50:23

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Keziahhopes Thu 16-Jun-11 10:24:58

I hope your kids listen to you and the school (I think school tends to get through more than parents sometimes!) as their awards are important to show how well they are doing, despite what appears a jealous grandparent!!

Wow, amazing for daughter to be picked. Well done you and Mary. Seems to me your mohter has a real problem that is being projected onto your lovely family. Hope you can hold onto the success of your daughter and how you are bringing her up smile

allegrageller Thu 16-Jun-11 10:29:30

god what a mother zukie. Really feel for you.

Can you not distance yourself from her a bit? Her behaviour and words are really unacceptable. Your daughter sounds amazing - and your mother bitter and jealous.

I understand the depression/agoraphobia thing, I only seem to leave the house now when I absolutely have to i.e. food has run out or I have to go to work, orr the dcs are with me and need taking out. It's horrible isnt' it, llike you create your own prison.

zukiecat Thu 16-Jun-11 18:45:48

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zukiecat Thu 16-Jun-11 18:49:47

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philnteds Thu 16-Jun-11 19:20:57

Hello i have just been reading your posts and i have been on a variety of meds over the years for anxiety/depression. I am not sure if your current combination of meds is doing the trick. I have been on Prozac for two months and I am so much better. I really wish I had taken this drug years ago. I hope that you get the help you need and deserve because you can feel better. I too have a problematic relationship with my family and this has worsened over the years esp since having kids.

allegrageller Thu 16-Jun-11 21:01:54

God zukie she sounds horrendous. I kicked my mother out of my life for similar behaviour many years ago but she is now back and very much a changed person. She's still in denial about years of abuse, but as long as I don't get any more, I can deal with that.

If she were like yours I would be saying 'get out and come back when you are prepared to act like a human being'. It's no loss to you or your kids really is it?

Isn't agoraphobia a horrible creeping thing. i really felt better today and aimed to go out but I ended up chained to the computer and in one room all day. Well, I did have a shower I guess. yes I prefer the local shop as well.

allegrageller Thu 16-Jun-11 21:02:34

Actually when I say 'it's no loss' I should say, it would be a positive gain for you and them. You wouldn't feel attacked and down and the kids would only benefit from that. Maybe you shoudl make the kids your motivation to tell her to shove off.

zukiecat Fri 17-Jun-11 12:15:26

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allegrageller Fri 17-Jun-11 15:30:26

oh zukie I do understand that feeling sad I managed a shower yesterday though. I perk up when the dcs arrive. I only have 50% custody so miss them a lot.

Can you believe I've spent most of the day trying to pluck up courage/energy to go to the shoe repair shop...well i still have an hoiur and half to get out,might make it...

hmm it sounds like she destroyed your confidence long ago. My dad also supported my abusive mum. Abusers attract enablers. Tbh you might gibber and feel a wreck for a while but surely being rid of them you would feel BETTER in a week or 2?

zukiecat Sat 18-Jun-11 13:19:46

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allegrageller Sat 18-Jun-11 14:03:21

I did make it!! Stupidly proud of myself. I've not got out since Wednesday, except for that sad the kids are coming back this afternoon so I'll take them to the park. Feeling a bit twitchy about that. I'm OK when I'm out actually (sort of), it's just the moment of GOING out that makes me panicky.

I also tend to panic when interacting with people e.g. paying for drinks etc. I start gabbling a lot. Hate it and ffeel ashsmed of myself.

Heartily agree with your last sentence. She is doing you no good at all.

zukiecat Sat 18-Jun-11 15:10:58

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Kerrihypnotherapy Sat 18-Jun-11 23:47:41

Hiya Zukiecat & Allegrageller. i've just joined the site and this is my first post. Congratulations to both of you for continuing to leave the house when you feel this way smile

Focusing on the successes that you have will definately help you to build on it and encourage the production of the chemicals oxytocin and serotonin in your brain which will, in turn, reduce the amount of anxiety chemicals being produced (these cause the panicky feelings!)

It would be worth picturing yourself leaving the house and going to where you're going (whether its a school awards ceremony - congratulations to your daughter!; or a trip to the park with your children) in detail and everything going well and how proud and happy you feel doing these things. The more you practice visualising these successes the more your mind will think you've already experienced them, and will release chemicals & feelings and physical responses accordingly.

I hope this helps.

zukiecat Sun 19-Jun-11 14:21:57

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Kerrihypnotherapy Sun 19-Jun-11 21:23:00

hi zukiecat

leaving the house is something to feel proud of! and it's great that you focus on getting out the door, building on that and picturing yourself walking down the street, or getting in your car and arriving successfully at the place you're going, picturing yourself feeling and acting calm and in control while you're out and picturing yourself noticing and enjoying good things while you're out will help to make these outings easier.

When we focus on the positives in our lives we begin to notice the good things about our lives and we start to release 'feel good' chemicals in our brains that encourage us to be able to see the good stuff! this cycle works both ways....for the positives and negatives. it sounds like you've found yourself in the negative cycle rather than the positive one. Looking out for the good things (and i know you have some because i've seen what you've said about your wonderful children - and you must remember you helped them to become the people they are, achievers!) will help you get back on the right cycle. focusing on the negatives (like your mum!) serves no purpose and only encourages you into the negative cycle.

i hope you're able to start focusing on those positives; an achievement your children have, a smile from one of them, an empty washing up bowl, a song you like on the radio, the colour of a flower in the garden, a meal you've prepared and served up (they don't have to be huge things), making sure you really acknowledge them and then start looking for things you can acknowledge as a good thing! as you start to notice more and more things so your brain will begin to release more 'feel good' chemicals that will help you to see the good things, and as i said before, when the brain is releasing the 'feel good' chemicals it stops producing the ones that make you feel depressed or anxious.

i hope this's the baby steps that lead to the bigger steps, when we get the baby steps right the bigger steps become easier smile

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