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What would happen?

(3 Posts)
alfiemama Fri 03-Jun-11 13:04:52

I haven't really gotten a clue where to begin with this and it is still very raw for me.

My dad has been diagnosed as Bi polar for a few years now. He is quite severe, sees a councillor had lots of tests done to which he has been told he has signs of early dementia. He is also lots of meds and is quite argyophobic. My mum gave up work to be his career.

My mum has just been told she has Leukemia. We are waiting for some results back to see how advanced. Apparently, she has had it for a while, she changed Drs and the new Dr assumed that she knew, our old doctor gave up his practice and there were some umming and ahhing over his conduct.

I am trying to think practically to try and help mum, as she has always put dad first, you get lost in a bi polar world. She doesn't even want to tell him but I have said that he needs to know. She said she may tell him once we know what we are dealing with.

What on earth do we do? He is very suicidal my dad and we have thought about sectioning in (a hard thing to admit) on many occasions.

My mum needs to try and fight this but how can she when it is all about him?
God forbod she became really sick, what would I do with dad? Will I get support for him? Another point to add is that he has been told not to be around kiddies, I have 3 one who is autistic. Not sure what on earth we will do. I have a brother. He also has a kiddie but mum doesn't want him to know.

I am trying to get some kind of action plan together. Hope that makes sense.
Any help appreciated.

Selks Fri 03-Jun-11 13:15:08

Your mum can have a Carer's Assessment which may identify future need in relation to caring provision for your Dad. Suggest to your mum that she contacts the mental health service that is supporting your Dad or her GP to request one.
She should discuss the situation with her GP fully. Also she could contact social services to request assessment of the situation regarding your Dad's future care needs. With a bit of luck they may be able to provide some care to your Dad in the home that may keep things going.
I very concerned that you say your Dad is suicidal. When was the last time that he had his mental health assessed? I would press to get this done again, and your mum needs to be sharing these concersn with the mental health team. It all sounds like far too much for her to be coping with in her own.
The other thing to consider is there may be a Carers support organisation in your area who may be able to offer a lot of advice and support to your mum and you. Contact social services to get the phone mumber or check on google.
Best wishes.

alfiemama Fri 03-Jun-11 13:42:31

Thanks for your reply and advice Selks.
My mum has spoken the gp about dad and have given her advice and who to contact with regards to dad's thoughts. She also had a home visit the other day from someone about support (sorry she has only just told me, after I posted this) I think she said help direct.
Good idea on the carers support rganisation. We will look into this. We are getting together tomorrow, so will ask her about the mental health team. I know last time he went, they wanted him to go to a memory clinic and they would give him a prescription that could delay the dementia but he refused to go. I may be wrong but don't think he has been back since.

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