so it went wrong, how to recover?

[Sheslosingit]

I thought it was coming, and it did. Went out drinking by myself, acting like a tit, ended up being taken in by police (I think some kind of section) and they took all my things off me and I had to be in a tracksuit and I was really cold. I rhink I was in the outdoors for ages and they said I was at risk of self harm but no injuries (apart from that I am really stiff and sore but I remember being in the corner of the cell and shouting for help as I couldn't breathe and they were just looking through a window)
They kept moving me in different rooms and asking questions and I was scared but mostly I felt like I had poison in my blood.
I came home and had doctor and a nurse here and the plice and the docotr in my house gave me pills. tranquilsers.
it keeps coming and going but has gone for the longest time today and i wasn't allowed on the internet but I have been left alone for a couple of hours so come on here to calm down a bit.
I think they were going to put me back into hospital but dh stopped them. I know he has signed forms and has all the drugs to look after.
#I need to keep busy but I'm not allowed to go out or to spend money or to do bills or else i might not be allowed to stay alone and i hate people just standing there looking at me like i'm going to do something mad.

what can i do to keep my mind busy but not too busy as I have to rest? If I can get sleep tonight i might be able to reduce the amount of pills.

[Sheslosingit]

also, how long can i be on these pills before i get addicted? Previously have only had one dose at a time unless in hospital. benn on them now for days, but reduced to just night time now.

[ovumahead]

Sorry to hear you've just been through all that. It sounds like a nightmare. How are you feeling now?

Are you able to read or watch films, or talk to friends on the phone? Can you cook yourself some nice food, tidy up a part of the house? I know none of these things sound very exciting, but it seems you might need a bit of time just relaxing and unwinding.

Are you getting any kind of therapeutic help at all? Or just medication?

[Sheslosingit]

I've to have till friday drugged up then they will see. Feeling better on and off. I'm feeling well right now, but can't cope with the kids by myself. Going to have a bath and tablets and sleep soon.

I feel awful. dh has gone through my online banking, paypal etc and found spending I don't even remember. he is cancelling what he can.

What I really want to do is do loads of exercise or sort things out - there is so much to be done politically atm. dh has given me strict guidelines even down to what I can read - he stopped me reading about postmodernism and about the poor laws and even all poetry! Suppose he is right though because I do get carried away sometimes.

I'm basically wasting time. I even joined world of warcraft just to waste time, I read all of the rachel papers but not sure if i should read more, or maybe i should read that Room that was free. I have thousands of books.

Maybe I should watch tv. I don't really do tv. don't have the attention span for it unless i'm drugged. finding bright lights or sudden noises hard. I keep running off to sit under my duvet for a bit but can't do that forever. can deal with sitting room if curtains closed.

don't want to face world. suspect i have been talking bollocks to people. I tend to tell people lies about myself. not lies, exaggerating.

:( not fair on my babies. they ask what is the matter.

[Sheslosingit]

now in house by myself. dh had to go out, kids gone to inlaws. people keep looking at me. what can i do till bedtime? need to stay off rest of mn. can't be getting involved.

[Sheslosingit]

help

[orangeflutie]

Does listening to music help at all?

I often find music better than watching TV and sometimes can't concentrate to read.

[Sheslosingit]

nhs direct are a bit rubbish once you are with a team. could ring crisis or my proper team but don't want to bother them. also worried that they might make me be in hospital.

dh has left me with the max dose of the drugs. i have to tke them soon once i am in bed because the max dose sometimes makes me fall over. in laws were going to stay but couldn;t face them being all sympathetic. they are lovely but i try to act normal then get anxious. they are up the road- would take them less than 2 minutes to get here if need be.

[Sheslosingit]

I'm fine. I just need to keep calm and a littl ebit busy.

[shodatin]

Sorry you're having such a bad time, and it's difficult to think of something relaxing if you're not in the mood, but I find having a bath helps, then doing nails when they're soft and really clean!
At least you've got some help now, so things will start to get better - hope so anyway.

[Sarsaparilllla]

Sorry to hear you're having a bad time, my mum went through a bad time like this really recently so I know what it's like.

Did you manage to get a nice bath and some sleep like you mentioned earlier?

Will your DH be back with you soon :) don't worry about calling your crisis team if you need a chat

Hope you're feeling better soon.

[Sheslosingit]

In bed now, have taken pills, but keep seeing flashes of light out of the corner of my eyes, so on here to distract myself until they kick in.

DOn't want to get in bath in case i fall asleep in there or fi there is a robber and i'm not dressed

dh is working behind a bar so he'll be back late.

really trying my best not to cause a fuss cos i want dh to be able to go out. i cant even look afte my own childrenn- thats not good.

doors are clsoing. i had so many dreams. now i'm here feeling lucky i'm allowed to be on my own. i used to eb clever. not a happy bunny

feel restless but not a good idea to go stomping about.

[Sheslosingit]

my skin feels weird - is that normal on theswe drugs? feels like is disolving

[nickschick]

U asleep yet?

if not answer me and we can chat til you do.

[Sheslosingit]

tried world of warcvraft but couldn't work ti out, just runnign about getting attacked by animals and couldn't remember what quests i aws doing

[Sheslosingit]

not alseep yet. feels like house is disolving. clock ticking slowler.

Is lieka I have energy in my heart but vcan't make my body do things.

[snowmash]

you can see quests on the map if you press m in wow now. Or do your own (10 monsters a minute).

Are you feeling sleepy yet?

[nickschick]

Why not lie in bed and think of girls name beginning with ABCDEF ETC ETC and then do the same with boys names too.

[Sheslosingit]

No...maybe if I do some excericising i won't feel weird cos i'll be busy feeling exercsing. not usually allowed but i'm already drugged up so that will kick in before mania will you would think.

[Sheslosingit]

names makes me sad cos i want all the children but cant have more and cant look after ones i have

[nickschick]

No dont excercise your mind needs rest not endorphins that will stimulate you.rest now excercise tomorrow on a ful;;y charged battery

[Sheslosingit]

need to distract myself from itching, i end up injuring myself cos i get picky and itch

don't think the pills have worked. not relaxed. is there anthying i can do? just want to be alseep before this panic gets bigger. don't want to make a fuss or will cause problems for peopled..

i might have herbal stuff. dont reallf beleive in it, but might just tip me over egde. not going downdtirs for tea so needs to be in the medicne cab

[Sheslosingit]

lol, swig of rescue rememdy and a million sprays of lavender. hmmm. this is my skteptical face. I just have a headache now, if anything has woken me up.

I can have paracetomol for headache yes? that's normal. i have a weird selection in medicine box- antiacids and pro plus mostly - you can tell i have kids. migth put on dds exma cream to soothe itching.