Please help I am pg !!!!

[CrawlingInMySkin]

Hi I have been suffering mental health problems since I was 13 I was admitted after a temination age 15 which made me downward spiral, the termination went wrong and I started hemmoragging but even though I knew I was dying I hid the fact I was dying and my sister found me I barely survived I was in a normal hospital for a month then discharged to out patient pychiatric care, I was not allowed to be left alone and I had care workers who took me out of the house for a year. I was wrongly diagnosed as severe PTSD.

I have always had really bad ups and downs and this september I was sectioned while manic and re diagnosed as bipolar. I was scared of medication (for a few reasons one my father was a drug addict, two I had a very abusive partner who used to rape me as a teen and he became a trigger for the mania, when manic I was able to fight back and stop him hurting me so saww my mania as a defensive weapon) me and my PYCH have been discussing all of this and he decided I needed to go on to a mood stabiliser, and anti pychs.

Because I wasnt ready he gave me time and I was going to go back and say that I am ready and happy to take lithium and abilify or geodon. Just got a positive pg test, the bipolar drugs are very harmful to a fetus, I looked into this to see if I would be able to have any more children, but the episodes are harmful to. I am also smoking right now to help keep me stable which has been the only thing stopping me going manic or depressed.

On my last pg my mood swings stopped and being pg and bf gave me 5 years of relative stability, I discussed this with my pych because before I was pg at 17 I was constantly on a episode and my life was in tatters so he thinks being pg and bf stopped me swinging as high or low (which he said can sometimes happen), I dont have a CPN yet.

My pelvic floor is also completly fucked and I see a physio about that, what am I gonna do?

[GetDownYouWillFall]

Oh crawling I am so sorry for everything you've been through - you sound traumatised. I remember posting on your thread about anti psychotics.

The first things to do is NOT PANIC.

OK, you haven't started the mood stabilisers yet? What drugs, if any, are you taking?

Just focus on one thing at a time. Do you want this baby? The fact that pg and bf in the past have given you some stability is good.

I was on lithium for nearly two years as well as olanzapine and a variety of anti-ds.

I am off them all now, and also newly pregnant. I feel well and am glad to say it is possible to be well again and not be on drugs.

Don't let them pressurise you into taking anything you don't want to. You need to have a CPN so you can talk it all through with them. I found the psychiatrist was always rushed and they just wanted to throw drugs at me. The CPN is more like a friend, who comes to your house and you can just chat it through with them.

PS. my pelvic floor is knackered too

[CrawlingInMySkin]

Thanks I wanted another baby but I was waiting to see what my diagnosis meant first. I wont have another termination I was forced into the other by my mum because the pg was concieved through my boyfriend raping me, so I wont have another termination.

Congratulations on your pg I hope it all goes well for you and thanks for posting and giving me hope that you are doing this without meds were this a few months earlier I would have been estatic myself.

I am not worried about the mood swings as such more that I will be forced to take the medication, I am also worried about the smoking everytime I tried to quit I have started hearing voices and going very depressed.

I dont even have regular periods and was using a diapragm so I am in shock about this. I take no drugs other than fish oil which my pych said might help me while I got my head around having to take meds. I really do have a fear of meds I had a back to back labor on my first and everyone said I was really brave for refusing pain relief but I was not brave I was too scared of meds.

[CharlotteBronteSaurus]

Congratulations, and don't panic.

it is probably best to avoid meds unless the risk of become unwell really increases and most psychiatrists will recognise this.

Some antipsychotics and mood stabilisers can have effects on the foetus. others are seen a much less risky, though for obvious reasons there is a very limited research base for this.

there are certain times when it's best to avoid certain drugs, but some which are seen as safer in certain trimesters. You need an urgent appointment with your psych, and ideally a referral on to a perinatal psychiatry specialist, and a CPN with experience working with women in the perinatal period.

I might get flamed for this, but IMO if smoking keeps you sane, it is by far the lesser of two evils. How about cutting down to start off with, and switching to ultra low?

[CrawlingInMySkin]

I only smoke about 5 a day but I could cut back to three before my mood starts to be effected, would 3 effect a fetus badly do you think? I am healthy in every other way no drink, lowest age risk group ideal weight.

I will call up Monday and see what can be done, I am calmer now thank you. I also am unsure of how far, I felt ill and sick last week so took a test and it was negative so I must be early.