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coping tips

(6 Posts)
badgerbodgeup Sat 01-Jan-11 17:21:09

My mental health has been quite turbulant for the last 10 years really. I just thought i have had a difficult time with 3 major beravements 3 young children and other problems too but i have come to a realisation over christmas that i am really very fragile. My coping mechanisms over the 10 years have been alcohol and a tendancy to cut ties with anyone who upsets me. This has left me very lonely and isolated which is probably why noone has ever quietly taken me aside and told me to get some help.

My father died last year and since then i have had trouble sleeping and nausea/anxiety. I am also aware now that i been behaving a little strangely of late such as ranting a little in conversations and finding the kids very stressful and some of the school run mums have picked up on it. I was very friendly with one who has just dropped me which surprises me because she too has mental health issues and when we first met i was very well and a great support to her. Another mum has taken to crossing the corridor to avoid me too. Can anyone suggest any coping mechanisms to help me negotiate the school run in the new year? I feel embarrassed about my behaviour and need some tips and advice to help me keep my head above water and keep paranoia at bay.

WherecanIhide Sat 01-Jan-11 17:49:17

Oh dear, I don't know what to say really. I supose counselling may help?

I've made the mistake of cutting ties with people who've upset me.

I'm sorry I'm not being much help...

badgerbodgeup Sat 01-Jan-11 18:01:30

Well i'm already having counselling and i am going to make a concerted effort to reconnect with some of my family who i have distanced myself from since my father passed away.

Thanks for responding wherecanihide - you know i hadn't spoken to my dad for 2 years before he died and i broke his heart - all of my siblings are angry with me hence me cutting them out. That is a very hard lesson to learn.

But the school run thing is twice a day every day. That is what i really need strength for. Does anyone else with depression or mental health issues have any experience of this? How can you be strong when you are being shunned?

WherecanIhide Sat 01-Jan-11 18:55:45

I can only imagine how you are feeling about your Dad. You need to forgive yourself and reconnect with your sibblings.

I had something very similar re school drop off/collection. I fell out with 1 other mum but unfortunately (for me) she was very sociable and I feel turned people against me plus I was too unconfident to rise above it and be friendly with everyone. I cut myself off and always stood waiting for my dc on my own - for several years. I felt like the unpopular child who no one wants to play with! I really didn't help myself, at all. It was very lonely at those times and I feel my dc missed out on play dates etc because of me.

I think you should try again with other mums. Try and smile 'hello's etc (easier said than done) I don't know if you could chat to the mum whose avoiding you and sort of explain things?

I really understand the paranoia you are feeling and understand your concerns. I reminded myself I was there primarily for my children but still felt isolated and the only one who wasn't happy

badgerbodgeup Sat 01-Jan-11 19:05:31

Thanks - It's good to know i'm not the only one thats felt like this. I think i will talk to the other mum at some point. I do often remind myself that i am there to pick up/drop off dc but i've got quite a few years of this to go and i think the play date thing has definitely affected us and i blame myself. There#s not much i can do about any of this but i'm just going to hold my head high because i havn't done anything wrong but have just had a difficult time of it.

WherecanIhide Sat 01-Jan-11 20:17:37

Yeah be kind to yourself.

Don't let yourself end up like I did.

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