So sorry, this is long.
I was abused by my uncle many years ago.
On one occasion.
I am 43 yrs old. I am single.
I was 9 or 10 at the time. I tried to tell a visiting older cousin, but was so horrified by her reaction that I shut up and refused to say another word.
I never told my parents, but I have told my brothers, many years later. I don't know if they believed me as it seems they still talk to him.
He is my mothers brother, and she idolises him. She is from a very close Irish Catholic family.
I wish I could have told her, but after 35yrs of silence, I dont know how I could now.
I have avoided him ever since, and don't make conversation with him. I leave the room if he comes in, and have managed over the course of the years to time my visits home so as not to co-incide with his. (Mostly. Sometimes I get it wrong)
I have had some help for a short while with a psychologist, but I found it so difficult to talk about, I couldnt continue.
I suffer from enormous guilt for not speaking out, as his daughter, my cousin had had severe mental health problems for years, and I am sure it must be related to him abusing her. (Surely it cant have just been me.)
There is a family wedding on New years Eve in my home town. I will be home for Christmas and the Christmas period.
I have offered to Babysit for my brother so I don't have to go. I have never gone to any family weddings apart from my brothers. And they were so big, I managed to not see or speak to that uncle.
My mother has just told me that my uncle and his wife are having difficulty finding accommodation for that wedding. She wants to put them up.
My parents and my brother have booked into the hotel that the reception is in. I am staying in my parents house with my nephew and another aunt who will be visiting and cant afford a hotel as she is retired and only has a very small pension.
I am freaking out at the thought of being under the same roof as him.
I have started to have panic attacks. I have managed to not think about things for such a long time.
I really dont know what to do.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.
Mental health
Dont know what to do
3 replies
Freakingout · 14/12/2010 19:46
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.