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Struggling to cope with this anxiety :(

(44 Posts)
Marne Tue 14-Dec-10 19:27:08

I hate this time of year, i love x-mas but because of my anxiety around illness christmas allways gets ruined sad. I am so saired of the dd's getting sick and even more me getting sick that i lay awake at night incase one of them vomits.

Both dd's are just getting over chicken pox and dd2 has just had a vomiting bug/virus, 2 days ago i came down with it but from the help of anti-sickness medication i have not been sick (just the other syptoms), this morning i ran out of my medication and had to beg my suregery to put a presription through for me straight away as i was shaking with fear at the thought of vomiting. I have shut myself upstairs for 2 days as i am so worried dd1 will get it and it will ruin x-mas for her, tomorrow i have to come downstairs to look after the dd's as my husband is back to work. I havn't eaten for 6 days (sinse dd2 came down with the bug) appart from 1 peice of toast, i don't feel like eating, i'm not sure if this is due to the bug or my anxiety.

I'm also worried that my dd's will catch something at school, i have taken dd2 out of school because her amune system is so lo, she just got over the bug and she can not handle all the x-mas things at school (she has ASD), Dd1 has 3 days left at school and i cant wait to have her home away from all the bugs at school.

I feel like i'm loosing my mind and i don't feel like im coping, if dd1 comes down with anything i don't know how i will keep it together. Dh has been a great help looking after dd1 when dd2 and i have been unwell but it feels like i'm on my own when it comes to looking after sick dd's.

I am seeing a counceller and my next appointment is on friday, i have had CBT, hypnotherapy and exposure therapy but i cant beat this sad.

I don't know where to go from here, it feels like its taking over my whole life, i want to look forward to spending x-mas with dh and the girls but i don't know if i can.

Sorry for the long post. Just hoped someone would understand how i am feeling.

Marne Tue 14-Dec-10 20:40:49

bump sad

BeckyBendyLegs Tue 14-Dec-10 21:16:34

I understand, I have the same phobia. I can't write much now, just off to bed. But I do understand - I even get jittery reading about friends on facebook who have a vomitting bug in the family just because I then think 'oh god it could just happen like that to us'. You need to tell yourself that you can beat this though. Try to see that.

doozle Tue 14-Dec-10 21:20:36

Have you searched for the emetophobia threads here on Mumsnet? There were a few long running support threads on here for people who suffered the exact same fear of vomiting.

It often seemed to be a bigger issue at this time of year due to norovirus etc.

I don't personally have this, but have suffered anxiety so know it's really horrible. Hope someone comes along who can help with this.

NemoTheRedNosedFish Tue 14-Dec-10 21:52:55

Have you asked your GP about taking beta blockers? They have helped me massively with my crippling anxiety.

Marne Wed 15-Dec-10 08:01:42

Thank you.

doozle, i have been on and of the emetophobia threads for a couple of years, thats where i found out about CBT, it has been a great support but really thought i would have beaten it by now sad. Like Becky, i get shakey as soon as someone mentions D&V or V, i feel like shutting the family indoors all winter to avoid it. My dd's usually get D&V once a year and i rarely catch it, dd2 and i have had it so i'm hoping thats it for another year.

I feel a lot better today (not as anxious) but i'm still worried about dd1 picking something up as its going around at school, i'm preying for snow tomorrow so they can stay at home. It's dd1's x-mas party tomorrow and the thought of her sharing a buffet with lots of others is making me anxious sad.

Nemo- i will ask my GP about beta blockers, i have asked for medication before but they wanted me to try councelling first (which i am doing).

BeckyBendyLegs Thu 16-Dec-10 07:04:44

Marne guess what? DS1 spent last night throwing up and I haven't slept as I've been a ball of anxiety as well as having to rub his back and look after the poor little mite.

I feel so sick (anxiety) about getting this. And after my bravado to you 'oh you can conquer this'. It's hell, isn't it?

The house smells of sick. It just feels like it is full of the virus. I am bound to get it and I am shitting myself worrying.

Marne Thu 16-Dec-10 12:56:03

Oh Becky, i'm so sorry you have to go through it too sad, can you get some anti sickness tablets from your GP, they worked for me, i got the virus and was in bed for 2 days but luckily did not V.

I'm still on edge that dd1 will get it as she didn't eat her breakfast this mornung (as soon as they are off their food i panic), i'm tempted to keep her home tomorrow as i dont want her to catch anything at school, i don't think i will relax until dd1 has been off school for 3 days and is bug free.

I hate the Anxiety and it seems to get worse each time sad. I hope your ds is better soon and you don't catch it, i have spent 2 days (sinse feeling better) cleaning the houce with TCP and detol (my house smells like a hospital) in hope of killing every trace of the virus.

Sending you lots of hugs xxxx

BeckyBendyLegs Thu 16-Dec-10 14:48:40

Thank you it kind of helps to know I'm not the only person who feels like this - although of course I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I was saying to DH last night 'how come everyone else just gets on with this sort of thing, surely being sick is as hideous for everyone?' Ah well, plod on, count the days until this is over. It might not happen, I haven't actually v'd for many years despite having a few stomach bugs since having the DSs. Who knows? It's just really tainted my excitement about Christmas.

lucybrad Thu 16-Dec-10 15:20:06

i am exactly the same. I am terrified of getting sick, and when the kids are sickits a nightmare. Three weeks ago the bug visited this house, and i was in such a state, then when dh got it as well my blood pressure must have been at boiling point. I am heavily pregnant too and this is making it worse. The kids currently have the cough, high emp thing going round and its all i can think about. I am so scared that I will ctch it and it will harm the baby. sad

Marne Thu 16-Dec-10 16:54:08

Keeping my fingers crossed for you, it put a downer on my christmas too, this week should be fun (school plays, shopping, visiting people), i missed dd1's school play and am behind with getting christmas sorted. Just think, you should be all over it by christmas (ds will recover in a day or too and if you havn't come down with it in the next 2 days you should be fine).

My dd's seem to get d&v once a year between now and April so these few months are hell for me, once they have had it i can relax a little until next year.

Lucy- sorry to hear you have this nasty phobia sad, i'm ok with colds, i would rather have a cold all year then have D&v for one day. Good luck for your pregnancy.

Beaches Fri 17-Dec-10 00:22:20

Oh god, cant believe there are others going through this! I am nearly crying wih relief, I have been suffering since dd2 was born two years ago, fear of illness in any form, mainly scared I have a cancer the docs are missing, I have had tons of water infections since the birth, bleeding from back passage (piles and ibs) been pres beta blockers and anti depressants but im too scared to take them, cbt but it didnt work, on waiting list for new therapy but it will be about 8 months! Just want to be a normal happy healthy mum

Marne Fri 17-Dec-10 08:23:20

Hugs Beaches, it is nasty, i don't like taking medication as i worry that i will get side effect (and be sick). I was ment to be seeing my therapist today but the roads are too icey to get there sad. I hope you manage to find something that works for you xx

BeckyBendyLegs Fri 17-Dec-10 09:22:37

I had a terrible night's sleep worrying about me or DS2, or DS3 or DH getting the bug. I am so fed up today. I need to snap out of this self-indulgent mess I'm in.

Marne Fri 17-Dec-10 10:44:00

Becky- sending you lots of hugs sad, i think incubation period is 1-3 days (i spent hours searching the net when we had it) so if you havn't got it by sunday you should be fine (i know sunday sounds and feels a life time away). My dd1 was exposed to it but has not come down with it (neither has DH), i'm still not sure if i really had it or if it was just my anxiety that caused it. I have kept dd1 home from school today because the roads are icy and because i dont want her catching the bug thats going around at school, i wont be able to relax until 3 days time when i know dd1 has not picked anything up from school. We will be staying at home for the next week so we don't pick anything up grin.

My therapist gave me a good technique to help when feeling anxious, it works for me when i am slightly anxious but not when i'm very anxious. Its just a little game to get your mind thinking about other things:

Look around the room and name 5 things you can see, then 5 things you can feel, 5 things you can hear and then 5 things you can smell.

It sounds silly but it works (for a short time) and i use it with dd1 when she is anxious.

I hope things calm down for you soon and the rest of you stay bug free. And remember 'you are doing a great job and in a few days it will all be over with'.

BeckyBendyLegs Fri 17-Dec-10 11:18:29

Thanks, you are so kind. I will try that technique.

Beaches Fri 17-Dec-10 13:42:26

Thank you Marne, I also kept my dd home today we are meant to be going on holiday with my mum in the morning to disney paris and my girls are so excited but I have noy slept for ages worrying about it and today keep getting sharp pains in my chest, trying to fight the thought its a heart attack, all I can think about is being on the eurostar, going in that tunnel and having a massive panic attack that will kill me

Marne Fri 17-Dec-10 18:28:10

Beaches, hope you have a great time in Paris, just think of the girls faces when they get to Disney.

Marne Sat 18-Dec-10 09:15:34

Becky- hope you are ok?

BeckyBendyLegs Sun 19-Dec-10 06:56:30

Hi Marne well we've got to Sunday and nobody else is ill, at least with sickness. DS2 spent most of yesterday telling me he was poorly in his tummy (he's four) but nothing came of it. DS3 spent most of last night awake and crying. So I am in a state of permanent knackeredness at the moment but not feeling quite so anxious as it happens. I'm not going to count chickens yet but definitely if we get to the end of tomorrow all in tact I will breath a big sigh of relief.

Hope you guys are ok x

Marne Sun 19-Dec-10 09:35:51

So pleased that you are all ok and a little bit more relaxed. My dd1 seems to have noticed my phobia so she no longer tells me if she feels ill (so i can't get as anxious). Fingers crossed that you have an illness free christmas. I am more relaxed today as dd1 has not come down with anything and has now been at home for 3 days, i'm quite pleased that we are snowed in so we can't go and mix with other ill people.

BeckyBendyLegs Mon 20-Dec-10 11:51:48

Right time to panic again. Last night I was at my friend's house watching Apprentice final and today her and her son (DS1's best friend) have come down with the bug. Yesterday DS1 and DS2 were at a pizza party with DS1's friend and another friend and his brother, the brother is also a victim as of this morning. Oh my god we've been exposed from all angles! DH is telling me not to panic but I can't help it. I certainly don't want this for Christmas.

Marne Tue 21-Dec-10 18:33:54

Stay strong Becky, apparently people are not contagous until they start vomiting so you should all be fine.

We went out today but i stayed in the car with the dd's when dh went in a few shops as i don't want them catching anything smile.

BeckyBendyLegs Tue 21-Dec-10 18:43:31

Really, is that true?? That would make me feel a bit better. Feel really nervous this evening as if I or DS2 / DS3 are going to get it then tomorrow will most likely be the day.

We went to a Christmas Party today - thing is, I find it impossible to avoid the risk of being exposed!

Marne Tue 21-Dec-10 21:22:58

Apparently, so stop worrying and enjoy the run up to christmas grin.

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