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getting tearful - how to stop it?

(9 Posts)
redundant Wed 01-Dec-10 20:04:55

Firstly - huge apologies for posting this in this section, as I know in comparison to all the other stuff in there it is absolutely nothing. But I just couldn't see where else to put it

Just wondering if anyone has any advice - I am quite an emotional person, and I get upset and cry at times when it is really unhelpful, to say the least. It seems to mainly happen when I'm talking to someone in a position of authority - I feel like a 10 year old child again! It has been a recurring theme in my work life.

I have a situation coming up on Friday (to do with a beloved pet of mine) which although it is understandable I will be upset about, crying is going to hinder me having a grown up conversation with the vet about it and making the right decision. It really does have potential to screw things up and make things difficult as when I feel myself going I just really can't articulate at all, and have to turn away/walk away.

Oddly, it isn't always a true reflection of my emotions and feelings - sometimes it seems to just happen anyway. Generally when I am seriously back against the wall, I tend to be able to control it.
Anyone similar? any advice? It makes me so annoyed with myself.

ilovehens Wed 01-Dec-10 21:09:11

Could you take a friend or family member to the vets with you to give you some support?

I don't really have any answers as to how you can get your tearfullness under control, but perhaps some of the others might have some suggestions or can point you in the right direction.

I know that when I was last at the vets with one of my hens I just suddenly started crying and couldn't stop. It was very embarrasing, crying about a chicken, but that's just how I felt and I couldn't help it.

Hope your pet gets better.

NoelNemofish Wed 01-Dec-10 23:08:01

I may be way off the mark here, but I wonder if you may be very emtionally sensitive to the point of being an empath? It rang a bell when you said you felt sometimes that the emotions you feel were not your own.

Can't link, but a good use of google should give you an idea if this applies to you at all.

I am very empathic and find I can't cope with crowds / busy shopping centres as I pick up all the different emotions from people, I feel myself swinging from happy / relaxed, to angry / sad, as I connect with people who barge their way past me walk by.

I know it sounds a bit 'out there' but whether you / I are picking up psychically or just have a heightened sense of reading body language, tone of voice or even reading tiny clues in facial expressions etc the end result is the same.

redundant Thu 02-Dec-10 12:05:52

thanks both. I will google the empath thing. I think its more like a build up of anxiety/pressure, which is probably a vicious circle, as I am now stressing myself out worrying about crying, which probably makes it more likely it will happen!
Once I have completely embarrased myself by crying inappropriately I am generally better able to get control, its like the worst has happened.
I am going to take husband with me tomorrow with instructions as to what he has to say if I'm not able to.
I hate it though, makes me feel so weak and useless.

redundant Thu 02-Dec-10 12:10:33

just read some stuff about the empath thing - that is a bit weird as it does sound freakily like me. It makes me feel a bit better than just labelling myself 'wet'!

NemoTheRedNosedFish Thu 02-Dec-10 14:55:39

Ha! Yes! We are all just too sensitive and need to pull ourselves together and perfect our stiff upper lips! grin

I only realised a few months ago that I had strong empath tendencies, now I do some things to combat it and I find it much easier to function around people.

thumbplumpuddingwitch Thu 02-Dec-10 14:59:54

If you want a tip on how to physically reduce the chances of you crying, this was given by an MNer some time ago, and I have found it works quite well:
jam the tip of your tongue against the roof of your mouth.
You might have to try a few different positions to get the exact right one, but it's somewhere between the centre of the roof and the back of the front teeth - I find the tip of my tongue curls over backwards when I do it.

Jam it there quite hard for a few seconds and you should feel that eye/nose-fizzing feeling start to go.

Obviously you have to stop doing it to talk...

redundant Thu 02-Dec-10 15:41:56

thanks, that is useful - will try it tomorrow! I can feel it when i start to go, but never manage to bring it back under control, particularly because when people see me wobbling then they invariably say something kind and that just makes it worse!

NemoTheRedNosedFish Thu 02-Dec-10 21:55:17

yes, once I've gone that's it... It pisses me off because I just want to be able to do normal, everyday stuff, but my emotions are so near the surface it makes it very difficult. If you add in crowded places, noise etc and picking up other peoples emotions, it's a wonder I've accomplished anything at all in life...blush

Thanks redundant I'll definitely be giving that technique a try.

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