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Kibbutz...

(17 Posts)
madmouse Sat 20-Nov-10 22:16:21

I notice you posting messages full of pain on several threads, resulting in comments that are not always necessarily helpful no matter how well intended.

Would you like to come over here and get the support for yourself that you deserve?

kibbutz83 Sat 20-Nov-10 22:43:19

Not right now thanks madmouse.. and I am just trying to show people that there are many of us in a similar boat... is it not a feasible way to do things, when clearly nothing else is helping? Tbh, I don't believe it is your's or anybody else's place to decide what I or anyone else posts!

madmouse Sat 20-Nov-10 22:48:43

what a nasty comment to make sad

I'm just concerned, for you and for others

Post all you like, I'm not stopping you

kibbutz83 Sat 20-Nov-10 23:04:24

Madmouse, we all deal with things in different ways, and I didn't feel your new thread was warranted... it wasn't meant to be nasty, it was just that I don't think you should have done it.. but thankyou for trying to be supportive.

EnnisDelMar Sun 21-Nov-10 13:37:12

Madmouse, what right do you think you have to tell Kibbutz not to post where she already does - I have seen many of her posts and do not consider them offensive in the slightest.

You were out of order to start this thread.

Kibbutz has not said anything nasty either - it seems to me, as well, that sympathy and support although of course very important are not improving the other poster's situation.

I think, and I may of course be mistaken, that Kibbutz is simply trying to empathise - I found when I was in the depths of a mental illness myself that empathy was CRUCIAL, from other people who had been there - it had an effect on several fronts.

It stopped me feeling it was just me in that situation. It helped me see there were ways to get better. And it made me feel less alone.

I just don't understand what your objection is to Kibbutz posting there.

She's not trying to take over the thread, she's commenting fairly and with a perspective that comes from similar experience.

Perhaps it should be up to the OP whose advice she wants to hear. I sense that you have a feeling of 'ownership' of her problems, in which case perhaps a public forum is not the best place for your conversations.

I don't know and don't want to presume your motives - but starting this thread was totally uncalled for and I think you should apologise to Kibbutz.

madmouse Sun 21-Nov-10 14:04:22

Ennis - re my message - wrong end of stick

Now hiding thread thanks

EnnisDelMar Sun 21-Nov-10 14:08:27

I don't understand - who has got the wrong end of the stick?

Never mind. You could always get this thread deleted if you like.

PaisleyLeaf Sun 21-Nov-10 14:14:22

Ennis it looks like you have got the wrong end of the stick.
madmouse doesn't seem to have any objection to Kibbutz's posts, nor finds them offensive. It seems from the OP here that Kibbutz was receiving unhelpful comments wherever it was she was posting (not giving).

EnnisDelMar Sun 21-Nov-10 14:18:12

No, Paisley, it isn't that - MM PM'd me just before, and it was definitely not to that end.

Thanks for trying to help though.

GetDownYouWillFall Sun 21-Nov-10 14:54:33

madmouse is extremely supportive and helpful to many people on this section of MN, including myself, there was no way she was telling kibbutz what she can and can't post.

She was trying to let kibbutz air her own issues in a place where she could get support for herself.

Sorry Ennis you have got this totally wrong.

EnnisDelMar Sun 21-Nov-10 15:53:01

Sorry but unless you are party to the private messages we have exchanged, and which I do not think it ethical to copy and paste onto this thread, you cannot really comment on what Madmouse meant...I'm sorry, I don't mean to be combative but it's just not speculable without access to other stuff...thanks, though.

I do think Madmouse would be best off asking for her own thread to be deleted. I don't fancy having to keep defending my own posts to people who haven't seen the private messages.

Suffice to say that there is more to this than is posted on here.

With all due respect, please leave it.

NanaNina Sun 21-Nov-10 20:03:45

I can't really understand what has happened here but just want to endorse Getdown's comments that madmouse is extremely supportive etc - I always finds her post help (and yours getdown for that matter) and I'm sure madmouse would only be trying to help.

EnnisDelMar Sun 21-Nov-10 20:29:11

Thankyou, I'm sure that she is and I honestly didn't intend to upset her by posting the comments below.

I'm not entirely sure what's happened, either - but without going into details, and I hope not causing further upset, can I just say that it was made clear to me that Kibbutz is not welcome to post on the other thread in question, for reasons that is it not appropriate to broadcast because (I imagine) they would compromise another person's privacy.

I don't know Kibbutz, though I have spoken to her, and like her, and I don't know Madmouse either but I think from my own impression, they are both trying to help the other poster albeit in different ways.

Madmouse understands her reasons and I am not going to comment on them or call them into question - for all I know, they may be very good. I will just say that I don't fully understand them, and I'm going to leave it at that.

I don't think there was any need for this thread; I stand by my other posts on this point. And once more I apologise if I have contributed to anyone feeling unhappy, in any way - that was definitely not my intention.

kibbutz83 Sun 21-Nov-10 20:36:22

All I can say is that there are different people with different life experiences coming from different perspectives on mumsnet... no-one is right or wrong with the advice, opinions or support they give. Just as some believe the advice given to be supportive and valid, others believe it to be unhelpful and repetitive.
I also wonder if some people become too personally involved in "the lives of others".. especially those with their own deep-rooted issues? At the end of the day it will always be down to us to sort out our problems, and not expect the advice of others who do not know us, to get us through. I know people think I am harsh, but I see it as realistic. Supporting someone is fine as long as you know your own and their limitations.

EnnisDelMar Sun 21-Nov-10 20:40:24

I applaud that - all of it - and I would wish to add that Mumsnet is a place where almost every member can make some kind of useful contribution, somewhere.

I think that the idea of segregating a thread from popular contribution is often not the most helpful manner in which to proceed. Live, and let live, generally speaking, works well.

I'm going to shut up now before I upset anyone else. smile

kibbutz83 Sun 21-Nov-10 20:58:13

I agree with you that this thread should be closed, but only madmouse can do that

EnnisDelMar Sun 21-Nov-10 20:59:26

I know...and she's hidden it!

Ah, well...

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