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DH is depressed, how can I help

(4 Posts)
ChristianaCatesby Wed 10-Nov-10 13:28:21

Hello

DH has been on Prozac for about a year, the dose went up to 40mg in May and to 60mg a couple of weeks ago.

Over the last four weeks his depression has become markedly worse. I don't know what the triggers have been for this new slump, but he is worse than ever, and is sleeping a LOT, very blue, unmotivated, unhappy, frustrated, angry with himself.

A few months ago he was made redundant and the doctor a fortnight ago signed him off looking for work. At the same time he was made redundant our friend and her daughter were killed in a car crash and I know he found this deeply shocking. It also brought back memories of his best friend who died in a horrific way at a young age.

I have tried to make things as easy as possible for DH and look after him, remind him to eat, let him sleep, and I am trying to be as supportive as possible. I have accompanied him on his last GP visit and we are waiting for a psychiatric appointment which is next week. He is also seeing a counsellor but her view is that he is too low to receive CBT which is what she offers.

I am finding things really hard too because we are so broke and I obviously don't have the time to look after DH and our two DDs and the house AND look for a job so I feel pretty stressed. Is there anything I can do to help my DH recover? Am I missing anything? I feel like someone has taken my DH away and I miss him so much sad

stinkypants Wed 10-Nov-10 20:28:00

it does sound very stressful for you all - i hope you wil be qabloe to get more support once he has seen the psychiatrist, it sounds like some sort of counselling is needed although i am not sure what.
in the meantime is there anything he derives pleasure from at the moment? it sounds like his self-esteem might have taken a bit of a knock with the redundancy and anything that might boost this could be beneficial, e.g. some voluntary work, a sport, a creative outlet of some sort, taking the girls swimming, etc.
or is he not functioning well enough? does he have a close friend / relative who could share the burden with you and he could offload to, a mate he could go running with for eg?
i hope you have support around you to help out.
in relation to the traumatic events he /you have experieced, it sounds a bit like post traumatic stress, which i would say definitely needs addressing by counselling rather than just prozac, i'm sure the medication has benefits but it wont address the underlying issues, and i think can mask emotions and make everything seem a bit dull / numb.
are there any changes to lifestyle that might help, eg downsizing to a cheaper house so the money issue is smaller? or taking in a lodger? a bit extreme i know.
i hope someone with more experience of depression chips in, i'm no expert but just wanted to show support.
your DH is still in there, and he is lucky to have you, and i'm sure he knows it, he cant help feeling as he does. make sure you look after yourself.

pointydog Wed 10-Nov-10 20:43:34

I'd try contacting a charity like MIND and getting some informed advice on this. You need support too.

ChristianaCatesby Sun 14-Nov-10 09:59:06

Thank you so much for your advice you two, sorry for delay in replying.
He's not functioning very well at all apart from the odd 'high' every two or three days that lasts a few hours.
I think the voluntary work is a great idea and am looking into that, I think that could give him a boost.
Thanks

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