I've been having counseling for about 3 months and so far it's going very well. The counselor is helping me work through how I feel about things because I struggle to recognise feelings I have and had actually become 'numb' in order to shut it all out.
It is hard, but I knew this would be the case. My parents always acted like my feelings about certain things were irrelevant, or punished me for feeling a certain way sometimes.
A few days ago I had a very unpleasant dream. It has upset me and I can't get rid of it, even though I'm not sure why it's bothered me. It concerns my youngest daughter's father who disappeared when I was 10 weeks pg, has never asked about her, refused to discuss it with me and now denies that she's his. I have not thought about him for a very long time but I had a dream that I was looking through a transparent door and could see that he had my shoes. I woke up feeling very shaken by it and can't understand why it bothers me so much. Since then I have been feeling upset about what will happen when dd3 asks about who her dad is.
I am sure the counseling is dredging up stuff I want to forget as I am also remembering details of my marriage ending which I had forgotten. I was wondering if this is usual?
I will mention all this to my counselor next time, but I find it hard to discuss and think I'll cry about it (no idea why!!) and I'm still not comfortable with letting myself cry.
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Mental health
Counseling - unexpected feelings resurfacing
5 replies
electra · 30/10/2010 15:00
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