seriously upset and angry about all of this!

[gottogetoutmore]

Hi, (sorry this is LONG).
Decided to join as need to get this off my chest and not sure where else to turn to be honest.
I will keep this as short as possible. Basically, when I went to my booking in visit I ticked the box stating I had a history of mental illness. At the time I had a diagnosis of Bipolar. This has since been changed to Borderline personality disorder. (This is also questionable).
I was immediately referred to ss without my knowledge. During my pregnancy I was treated appallingly. Fast forward a few months to my labour and dd being born. I decided on a home birth which unfortunately ended up in transfer to hospital and emergency c section due to dd getting stuck. Whilst being preped for the c section, a doctor stood over me and told me I was stupid for trying for a home birth and as I was now having a section I will never be able to have another home birth . When in the recovery room the midwife placed a tag on dd, stating she was doing so due to social concerns . I also had to demand to hold dd as she would not pass her to me. This list of things goes on! I am so upset and traumatised by all of this. DD is now 4 months old. I have being discharged from all mental health services and ss came to my home once and then discharged me. I am happily married have a large supportive family a full time career, we own our own home, no criminal record, history of violence, drugs, serious debt etc. So why did this happen! I am now too frightened to even take my daughter to get weighed. (I did take her last week and almost had a panic attack.) or to the doctor . I have also since found out that there was an alert on the hospital computer stating that a referral to ss had being made and the date. I have been told that that is the only info on the system. DD has never being subject to any child protection procedures. I am really confused a baffled as to why I was treated this way. I didn?t realize having a history on mental illness meant you could be treated this way. Surely it cant be right???!
I hope what i have experienced is rare
as i would hate to put other mothers off seeking support.

[GetDownYouWillFall]

Oh my goodness that is awful !!

I would write to request your notes (I did this) and scrutinise them, then submit a written complaint.

Were you referred to the mother and baby psychiatrist at all after birth of your DD?

I suffered severe mental health problems and was hospitalised after birth of my DD. We hope to have another baby at some point. Am terrified i will get this kind of treatment!

[theslumbertaker]

that is appalling. i second that you should certainly make a written complaint. the stigmatisation you were subjected to, combined with a complete lack of support for any mental health concerns is atrocious.

[gottogetoutmore]

Thanks GDYWF. It?s almost like having a mental health problem is the same as having a criminal record .Apparently most of my notes have gone missing . I was referred to the perinatal mht during my pregnancy and had an equally negative experience of them also. However the psychiatrist was not too bad, abit patronizing, but I can live with that and I only saw him 4 times.

I REALLY hope you or any other mother doesn?t get treated this way. It?s COMPLETLY unacceptable . And down right dangerous. Many mothers are in fear of seeking support for MH problems .

[ButterpieBride]

This is awful, however, can I reassure people that it doesn't always happen.

When I got pregnant with DD2, I was on anti psychotic and anti depressant medication, it was only weeks after I had last been an inpatient (taken in by the police), but I didn't have any of these problems at all, and I was always completely honest when asked about my history- I had to inform people as the medication could have affected the pregnancy (I stopped it as soon as I could).

I am now off all meds and about to be discharged from mental health care entirely (they waited a few months after the birth to check all was well)

I think you were unlucky :(

[resistanceisfutile]

Something vaguely similar happened to me. I have a history of serious depression in my late teens / early twenties.

I had DD when I was 31 and fully recovered (and had been for some time). At my booking in appointment they noted my history of depression and said they wanted to refer me to a mental health nurse as they were worried about possible post-natal depression. I was fine with this but never received an appointment (not that I was bothered).

After I was admitted to the maternity ward and I was in full on labour 2 midwives came in to question me about my mental health history. They were asking me about the overdose I took in my early twenties and my admission to the psychiatric hospital, and digging for details - which I couldn't supply them with as I was in labour - in a lot of pain and I could barely speak / think as was concentrating on the contractions.

It felt like I was being interrogated at my most vunerable. It was also upsetting as I didn't want to be talking about an upsetting time in my life when I was in labour and supposed to be trying to relax and be positive. I didn't have to presence of mind at the time to tell them that their questions were inappropriate.

After DD was born I was furious, but never complained (I wish I had now).

Unfortunately I have had a lot of similar experiences in my life since then, and this has made me extremely assertive when dealing with health care workers with a poor attitude to mental health problems. They cross me at their own peril now! And I certainly don't think twice about complaining.

And unfortunately the biggest lesson I have learnt is NEVER EVER tell ANYONE about your mental health history if you can help it. Keep it a secret from anyone in health/ education / employment etc. Lie if you have to. It shouldn't be like this but but it is.

[gottogetoutmore]

Thanks for your replies. I'm so glad you all find it as awful as i do, and it seems thankfully, although things like this do happen, it is not the norm.

I do really want to complain but not sure if just a letter is enough? I am also worried my complaint wont be taken seriously.

Does anyone know of any organisations that could offer there weight to my complaint? I don't want to use MIND as find them unhelpful, lacking knowledge of pregnancy/birth issues.

There were alot more things that happened that are equally as shocking, would love to just tell all but it is quite unbelievable.

[Keziahhopes]

Hi, you could contact PALS and ask them how to submit a complaint, or your local independant mental health advocate for your area - who can help write your letter and tell you exactly to whom it should be addressed, then it has to be dealt with in a certain time frame.

[Just13moreyearstogo]

I agree that you really need to write all this down. It will help you and it will, hopefully, encourage them to change their practices. It's completely counterproductive that they've scared you so much that you're afraid to take your daughter for a check-up! It sounds as though any staff who read 'SS referral' in your notes just assumed the worst and treated you as though you might be a danger to your baby. It's quite understandable that you feel really traumatised by this and if a copy of your letter can go also go in your medical records it will, hopefully, mean that you get better treatment in future.

[BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte]

I'd suggest you contact the data protection officer at your local authority to request all records held until the name of either yourself or DD.

You've been treated appallingly, I agree.

The only consolation I can add is that, from the way you describe it, neither the MH team nor SS had any "concerns" about you. So were you to give birth again, there would be far less worry.

And you CAN have a homebirth after a C-section!

[lelarose]

Am also upset and angry for you!

I have antenatal depression and no one has mentioned social services to me- if they had I wouldn't have accepted any treatment as would have been too paranoid and yet again the stigma and misunderstanding of mental health would have stopped someone getting help.

Here is something I thought you may find useful: www.rethink.org/living_with_mental_illness/everyday_living/stigma_mental_illness/stigma_and_1.html

I feel really strongly about stuff like this and hope you have the strength to complain, I know its hard when you feel vulnerable but in this day and age to be treated like this is totally unacceptable. I mean tagging your baby ffs!!

And resistanceisfutile- quizzing you about your mental health history whilst in labour?? Words actually fail me...

[lelarose]

sorry have no idea why such a massive gap appeared in the middle of that message when i posted it!

[gottogetoutmore]

Thankyou for your replies. I have been in touch with my gp today and have applied to see our medical records. Also been in touch with the hospital and am doing the same there. However, when I had my post natal check up, they informed me that my hospital notes had been lost
I now believe it?s really important that I complain and I feel ready to do so and i mean buisness {angry]. Thankyou for the link lelarose, I found it really helpful .
I also feel really strongly about this kind of thing and wish i could make a difference! Heard a saying recently, I want to change the world but cant get a babysitter .

resistanceisfutile reading what happened to you also made my blood boil .
I really hope things change in my life time

[BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte]

When you apply for your notes and/or complain, you'll find out whether your notes really have been lost. But if they have been (and really, I can't imagine anyone would lie about this) it could work in your favour. It sounds as though some unkind things have been written about you, so it might be best that they've disappeared...?