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(5 Posts)
Laine01 Thu 01-Feb-18 14:34:06

Honestly i'm feeling very stuck between a rock and hard place at the moment.

The dr reckons i have vaginismus as I've always had painful intercourse attempts since i started.

However, as soon as i was told my whole world dropped, despite it being "curable" i have it in my head that i never will confused

Above all, to fully confirm it I need a smear test and the thought of it shakes me, i just know the whole situation is going to be really painful and i'd rather avoid it but at the same time i want to start treatment.

The thought of the speculum and the unknown just terrifies me.

Would love to curb this so me and OH can have a kid one day x

Honey2468 Mon 12-Feb-18 01:45:40

Hi! I see this is unanswered. I don’t have any experience with this but if you are worried about the smear test would taking someone in with you to take your mind off of it help ? It sounds a bit strange but I know they let people do it. Could you maybe have a chat with the nurse so that then it isn’t the unknown if that would help ? And then you can walk out if you don’t want to go through with it or go through with it if you want it over and done with ? I hope this helps, I’m also in a situation where pain stops me from trying for children and it’s very frustrating but I think you need to keep positive because yours can be cured

windchimesabotage Mon 12-Feb-18 01:53:42

I had this!! Was very hard to lose my virginity and I thought there was something seriously wrong with me because of the pain.
Eventually it did just happen. I was told it was psychological, that my muscles constricted as a response to fear or stress. I accepted that as true because it did seem to be easier for me when I trusted someone and was relaxed.
I had issues with the coil being put in and actually passed out from the pain. But ive had much better experiences since. I would suggest being very honest with medical staff doing your smear. There are things they can do to help. The doctor who eventually got my coil in used a very small speculum (i didnt realise they come in different sizes before that) and he gave me diazepam. So dont worry just talk to your GP about having the smear and your concerns.

As for the sex I would seriously consider some type of counselling. CBT or something perhaps? Your anxiety about the issue is probably making it worse. It really isnt incurable. Theres lots you can do, dont give up. flowers

SongBirdsKeepSinging Mon 12-Feb-18 01:54:14

I was really anxious about having a smear test because of pain too. I had an appointment with the nurse to talk about it and she booked me a double appointment for the actual smear so that I had plenty of time and not worry that I was making her late etc. Could that be an option?

I found the smear a bit painful but not as bad as I'd worked it up to in my head. I have to have them every 6 months so the fear of the pain has lessened over time.

Is there anyone you're close to that you could discuss their experiences with smears? There would be less of the unknown then maybe.

shouldnthavesaid Mon 12-Feb-18 02:03:44

I have this - can't even pop my own finger in without pain.

In terms of having a smear I was offered a GA, don't know if that would be any use to you? I did eventually manage with my GP, took 5 or 6 attempts but she made appt at a quiet time so no rush, and got a lovely cup of tea after!

I've been refered for counselling via gynaecology, perhaps that might be a route to go down? Also had physiotherapy suggested to me to show me how to relax the muscles around there.

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