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Is 45 too old to have a baby?? honestly.....???

(53 Posts)
Lalala15 Sun 23-Jul-17 19:45:26

So I currently have 4 year old and 2 year old and i've just found out i'm accidentally pregnant at 44! it's not my proudest moment as at 44 you'd think I'd be more careful.
Anyhow, I'm sorry to anyone who disagrees with abortion and yes I do understand i'm playing with life however i'm very close to booking that appointment and it was my immediate intention but something is also holding me back from doing it.
Obviously I wasn't young when I had my other two but 42 still felt ok to have a baby now I feel 45 is really pushing it. I would be 50 when my youngest starts reception! As well as the baby I'm really worried about my own health for the sake of all my babies.
My 2 and 4 year olds are so so close too, they are best friends and everything is happy i'm scared of upsetting the harmony.
I just want to do what is right for us as a whole family.
My partner says he will support me in whatever decision I make but thinks it should be me to make it.
Has anyone else been in this scenario?
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Justhadmyhaircut Sun 23-Jul-17 19:48:13

Firstly congratulations!!
Secondly I am envious!
Your surprise is fantastic and I hope you embrace it wholeheartedly!!
I had ds at 43 and have ttc again without true success. .

EdithWeston Sun 23-Jul-17 19:48:22

I hope you don't mind, but I've reported this to MNHQ to ask for it to be moved to the 'pregnancy choices' topic where it's more likely it will be seen by posters with useful experience/expertise

seasonschooner Sun 23-Jul-17 19:53:34

Why Edith?

SpottyTeaCup81 Sun 23-Jul-17 19:54:53

I'm jealous and 35! I love stories like this. Big congratulations. xx

WhichJob Sun 23-Jul-17 19:56:09

I don't think 45 is too old for a baby and I am very pro choice but I wouldn't abort on that basis if that was your only reason. So many men become dads at that age or older and we don't bat an eyelid. I reckon the sleepless nights are awful at any age!

AndNowItIsSeven Sun 23-Jul-17 19:57:26

No of course it's not too old congratulations.

InvisableLobstee Sun 23-Jul-17 20:01:03

Hi I don't think it's too old physically, plenty of people are raising kids at that age or doing demanding jobs, and esp as you have the other two quite close in age they will be growing up together. It's not like you had already raised your older ones in your twenties and have to start over (nothing wrong with that but it would be more of a lifestyle change). I feel like if those two get on well theres every chance the third will get on with them both as well.
If it were me I would be worried too, but I would look on it as a good surprise and go ahead with it.

ginflumpsandzebraprint Sun 23-Jul-17 20:01:19

If it helps my mil was 46 when dh was born, he's now 50 and she is an amazing support to us still I'll let you work out how old she is now no she can't run round after the gc's but they love sitting in the garden with her listening to her stories and she offers great advice and support, never forces her opinion and reckons she was a better mother to him being older as she had more patience.

Oly5 Sun 23-Jul-17 20:01:21

I don't think it's too old either but this is your choice. But don't abort just because you're worried what people will think. I'm about to have dc3 at 41 and we tried for a while

JammyTodger Sun 23-Jul-17 20:01:31

No, it's not too old. I had my second at 45 and I'm now 47. I won't pretend it's been easy, and there are days when yes, I feel like an ancient crone next to all the 20 something mum's, but honestly, both my kids are a joy and I don't feel any less of a parent because of my age. Although I did feel a little shiver the other day when one of the school gate mum's was bemoaning the fact she'd be nearly 40 when her youngest left school. I'll be over 60!

Beelzebop Sun 23-Jul-17 20:03:40

I don't think you're too old, neither does your body! I worried about the effect of a third child on my first two and I can promise it only increases the love, rather than dividing it. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Topseyt Sun 23-Jul-17 20:05:16

Nothing wrong with where this thread is at the moment!! Why move it? Perfect for Family Planning IMHO.

OP, you obviously have doubts about going ahead with a termination, so go with what your gut feeling is. Your choice entirely.

I have known a few women who had babies at about your age, and I am not aware of any significant problems.

45 is not too old if you want to go ahead. Only you can decide.

Trills Sun 23-Jul-17 20:05:42

It's not too old, but it's OK if you think "I don't want another baby".

You didn't want another baby two weeks ago. Two weeks ago, if asked, you would have said "I prefer to not be pregnant". So if you would still prefer to not be pregnant then that's OK, and you can make that choice and take steps to make it be the case.

IfNot Sun 23-Jul-17 20:06:08

Age is a state of mind. Lots of late babies in my family, and I had some excellent elder women relatives who were still active into their 90s . But of course it's your choice and you must do what your heart tells you.

MrsJoyOdell Sun 23-Jul-17 20:08:11

OP if you feel 'too old' then you probably are. My DM was 45 when my DS1 was born and whilst she can keep up with him (he's now 10), he tires her out a huge amount more than he does me.

MrsJoyOdell Sun 23-Jul-17 20:08:22

Having said that, if you feel ok then go for it!!

WhyOhWhy2017 Sun 23-Jul-17 20:12:52

Go for it. It will keep you young grin

mayhew Sun 23-Jul-17 20:14:50

I'm a midwife. Last month I had a client with a healthy, natural pregnancy who was born in 1964.

SleepFreeZone Sun 23-Jul-17 20:16:20

I'm pregnant with my third at 42 and I'm feeling old now. My other kids are 1 and 4 and they really wear me out. So personally no I wouldn't want to have a baby at 45.

pombal Sun 23-Jul-17 20:24:04

I think in days gone past when women had less control over their fertility this was more common.

Having said that I'm your age and the thought of another pregnancy would fill me with dread for the reasons you have stated.

I feel for you.

MonsterQueen Sun 23-Jul-17 20:24:33

I had my youngest at 43 and would have loved another.

Congratulations smile

MikeUniformMike Sun 23-Jul-17 20:24:49

I know several women who had babies after their 45th birthday. All mothers and babies were healthy. One of them wasn't planned but he's adorable.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sun 23-Jul-17 20:26:00

mayhew? Surely that's extremely unusual? Glad all went well.

OP, it's about how you feel rather than your actual age . My baby days are over,I come out in a cold sweat just thinking about broken nights!

SerfTerf Sun 23-Jul-17 20:26:54

I'm a midwife. Last month I had a client with a healthy, natural pregnancy who was born in 1964.

52/53? shock

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