I don't want any more children - options?

[BabyTheCaveLion]

DH and I have decided our family is complete and we don't want any more kids.

DH went to the docs today and asked about having the snip. Doctor told DH that 1 in 20 men experience a lifelong pain in the scrotum area after having the snip and that it would be easier for me to have the coil/injection/implant fitted.

DH has come home feeling suitably scared about going for the snip - fair enough that's his decision. Trouble is, since I've had children I react really badly to any form of hormonal contraception - I literally turn in to a raging, angry, sobbing, depressed mess for 3 weeks out of every 4. I am NOT going back to that.

So what does that leave us? Any suggestions?

[VilootShesCute]

Condoms.

Never have sex again

Mumps. (Has left a young male friend of ours infertile poor guy. Not actually funny.)

Obviously kidding with the last two. To be honest we have same problem as dh terrified of having the snip after a work colleague told him that his left testicle swelled up to the size of a small melon for a week. I didn't know the statistic you quoted, he definitely won't have it done now.

[MrsFinkelstein]

Copper coil, no hormones, works for 10 years, just as effective as sterilisation, easily reversible.

[FATEdestiny]

Copper coil is not hormonal and stsys in place for 10 years, but it's not 100% effective like sterilisation or vasectomy would be.

[whinetasting]

I've got the basic copper coil. No hormones, no problems. Been in for years now- made my periods fractionally heavier but I never had bad ones to begin with. Should have had it fitted years ago. Am a bit evangelical about the amazing-ness of it!

[whinetasting]

That was a sudden rush of copper coil excitement!

[BabyTheCaveLion]

Copper coil sounds like it could be an option, at least to try it out.

I've heard of quite a few people who got pregnant on the mirena coil - has anyone heard similar stories for the copper coil?

[stillnotjustamummy]

I'm having this issue. The Mirena has not worked for me, it's made me really ragey. I don't fancy any hormone based things because I fear it will be the same, but heavy periods from the copper coil sounds rubbish too. Im wondering about having my tubes tied. Anyone had that done?

[MrsFinkelstein]

FATEdestiny - no method of contraception is 100% effective, especially not either method of sterilisation! Copper coil is just as effective as sterilisation.

Baby - all methods of contraception have a failure rate, nothing (apart from abstinence) is 100%. Failure rate for copper vs mirena are pretty much the same (with mirena a smidgen more effective, but not by much).

[HalloToJasonIsaacs]

Female sterilisation as normally carried out is quite a long way off 100% unless you had a full hysterectomy. Male sterilisation and implant are meant to be the most effective, so if you absolutely positively cannot afford to get pregnant then they're the ones to go for.

[MumOfTwoMasterOfNone]

I'm sure that statistic seems high! DP had the snip about 6 months ago, it's really nothing in comparison to childbirth. I still get occasional pains in my episiotomy scar which I'm sure will carry on for the rest of my days but it wouldn't have put me off having another baby.

[thecatsclinkers]

Another copper coil lover here!

[PunkrockerGirl]

So if your doctor's statistics are right, then 19 out of 20 men don't experience problems after having the snip.
I'd want to see equivalent (non anecdotal) stats regarding the copper coil before going through yet another invasive procedure after childbirth tbh.

[Chinnygirl]

I know two women who got pregnant with a coil. I'm a bit sceptic about it.

[BabyTheCaveLion]

I was quite when DH reported what the doc said. And I was pretty pissed off that he assumed it'd be EASIER for me to pump myself full of hormones for the next 20 years or so until menopause. Men have absolutely no idea what it's like living with a hormonal cycle!

[BabyTheCaveLion]

Chinny - were they on the mirena or the copper do you know?

[SweetChickadee]

according to a poster in my GP's office the Mirena is more reliable than sterilization. I was quite surprised. I don't know anyone who got pg with the Mirena, but I do the copper coil

I was a PMT mess on the pill and am much better on the Mirena, so don't discount it.

[strawberryblondebint]

I have copper coil. Best move ever. Was totally crap on hormones. Again I think my periods are a bit heavier but they were never bad. Copper coil + mooncup = totally life changing for me.

[Penfold007]

So according to the (male?) GP 19 out of 20 men suffer no side effects post vasectomy. Condoms, female sterilisation, implant, coil or abstinence are among your options.

[BabyTheCaveLion]

I don't think DH is totally against the snip yet but he's definitely a lot more worried about it.

I'm gutted - I was totally ready for him to have to step up and get his junk fiddled with for a change! After 10 years on and off contraception and 2 childbirths I definitely think it's his turn!!

[MyWineTime]

The NHS seems to give a very impression of the risk of long-term pain to Marie Stopes

www.mariestopes.org.uk/men/vasectomy/vasectomy-explained/are-there-risks-my-health-or-sex-life-vasectomy

I am very glad my DH had one.

[TheFuzz]

It's true. It's actually 1 in 10 and the pain is severe. It's badly affected our sex life. I've had the pain 4 years now. Had additional surgery and my testosterone has dropped to less than half what it should be. I'm under endocrinology but they aren't helping me. My wife is going with me next time. I've even asked my Urologist to cut them off but he said it won't stop the pain. The issue is the vas is surrounded by nerves and blood supply and they are very often damaged. It's unfortunately permanent.

I wasn't told about the risks. I recently had to make a decision about a very serious surgery for something else and the surgeon said 'you know surgery can go wrong'. I opted for no surgery and conservative but slow recovery. Had it gone wrong I would have been paraplegic.

Stick with none surgical contraception.

[TheFuzz]

Oh and it's not about stepping up. It's surgery. It does go wrong and the consequences are severe. I have lost about 3 months off work with it in 4 years. I was told 'it's your turn'. How we both regret it. Most go well but it's goes wrong rather commonly and can't be treated. I've tried.

[TheFuzz]

I would advise checking out patient.info Web site under vasectomy. Lots of problems.

[OlennasWimple]

All medical and surgical procedures carry a risk that something will go wrong (including child birth, of course).

For the vast majority of men, the snip is straight foward: DH had it one day, I made him have the following day off, then he was back at work the next and playing sport in about a week. No side effects, no pain, just the knowledge that a very unwanted pregnancy was very very very unlikely to happen.

I'm obviously not minimising the pain and discomfort that some men suffer as a result of having a vasectomy, but I do maintain that after 25 years of being responsible for contraception, three pregnancies, two miscarriages and a premature delivery, yeah, there is something about it being "his turn"

[MyWineTime]

It's up to each couple to weigh up the pros and cons.
The risks to women from pregnancy, childbirth or prolonged use of contraception are very significant.
I wouldn't use the NHS, I think it's better to go to a clinic where they carry out thousands of these ops every year.

There is nothing you can do that can guarantee no side-effects for either partner (unless you agree to never have sex again) so there will always be a risk for one person. On the grounds that I had taken that risk for many years, using various forms of contraception and going through pregnancy and birth, after looking at all of the options, my DH decided that the best option was for him to take the responsibility and risk. As with the majority of men, it was very simple and the only side-effects were positive (improved sex-life)