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Potential abortion, anybody been in this situation? Please help!

(6 Posts)
Charlotteeeee88 Sat 30-Apr-16 09:26:20

My name is Charlotte and I'm a 27 year old living in London and working. I have a very supportive partner who loves me and who I love, though we have only been together for 1 year (with a little break in the middle, my decision as I was unsure of my feelings). The relationship has always been a slow burn for me and I know that his feelings have always been slightly stronger. He was the one pursuing at the beginning and has always been keen to 'take things further'. Moving in together has always been in the back of his mind, yet for some reason, I've always deferred.

I found out that I was pregnant by accident and while I was in Hospital being treated for something else several weeks ago. Though initially I was incredibly shocked, I got to grips with the news and even started feeling a little optimistic. I decided against abortion, feeling that this was just something that I couldn't do (although of course I would never judge those that do). But since making the decision 2 weeks ago, I've felt depressed, so lonely and hopeless. It has brought into question my feelings for my partner and I'm petrified that he isn't the one. Although sure I'll fall in love with this baby, I wonder if it's fair to bring a child into the world when I feel so unstable In my relationship.

Please help. All I've felt is scared and upset these past two weeks. I've already seen the heartbeat and feel connected to this little thing, I know an abortion will be traumatic, but perhaps it's something I have to do? I'm so lost and would love help from anyone that can relate.

I find the idea of abortion totally heartbreaking and adoption is out of the question for me. I know that life goes on, and that I would be okay eventually whatever the outcome. I just keep going round in circles! Can anybody help? Thank you xx

Verticalvenetianblinds Sat 30-Apr-16 16:52:22

I got pregnant with my ds when we'd only been together 3 months. I gave dp the facts. I want this baby, I can do it on my own, if you want to stick around that's fine, if you want to be with me that's fine. We've been together 7 years now and have another ds.

If you want to make it work being a parent, u will.even having a long and loving relationship and a planned pregnancy doesn't make it easy!

Good luck whatever you decide

MrPony Sat 30-Apr-16 16:59:03

Ok, first of all forget about your partner and look at the rest of your life. Do you have a good support network around you? Would you manage to continue to work if you split up?

You've given away a few details about yourself on your OP, it might be worth asking MNHQ to edit them out.

Good luck with whatever you decide flowers

sunnyoutside Sat 30-Apr-16 16:59:36

I have had a baby with someone I was unsure of (2 babies actually) and whilst i never regret my dc, it is hard co parenting with a person that I never felt that deep love with and don't share the same parenting ideals with.

I adore my dc, but I now have this man in my life (even though at a distance) for many years ahead.

If you continue with the pregnancy I am sure you won't regret it and you will have an amazing experience but I can't tell you it will be easy. Co parenting can be hard.

Hope that hasn't been too negative, I certainly don't mean it to come across like that.

All the best, whatever you decide.

scaevola Sat 30-Apr-16 17:11:09

You probably need to get this moved to "pregnancy choices' for posters who can help with questions and support around termination.

I'm glad to see you've had some helpful responses, but this could rapidly run out of steam here in the contraception topic (totally different subject and with different 'regulars')

MrPony Sat 30-Apr-16 17:14:59

Sunny makes a good point about parenting styles. You need to ask him what his views are on disciplining, schooling etc. Does he agree with smacking? Would he be the sort that thinks it's ok for a 7 year old to play a 15 rated game? Ask him your questions before you give your answers as you could get answers that are set to please you.

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