16 months post birth problem's!!! will I be able to have another

[feb14mum]

I know this may be personal but is anyone suffering from anything since their births i gave birth in feb 14 and had a few issues and this sounds terrible but part of me thinks I'd rather be dead then have to suffer with this pain for the rest of my life. since the birth I've had an anal fissure Google it if u don't know I've been using a cream called recto genic and it worked but now it's opened it self up again and the side effects of the cream is chronic headaches and god are they painful. basically a fissure is a tear in the bowel so everytime i have a bowel movement I get bleeding and a sharp pain then after it always feels sore aswell im still using the cream but it doesnt seem to be doing anything now next step for that is botox in the bum.
and the front lady area I found sex incredibly uncomfortable though that is much better now with the help of doctors intervening with vagina dilators yet now im on the biggeat size of it my perineum which is skin bit between vagina and bum constantly has splits on it or grazes.. more so after sex it's like a paper cut i use to get them before but not as bad. my birth ended up with being cut and a 3rd degree tear please tell me I'm not the only one

I really want to have another baby but am so scared about what will happend next time

I shouldn't be having these problems so long after the birth but what with moving house nhs and waiting lists it seems to be going on for ever!!!

[sksk]

Very sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Ask your GP to refer you to a colorectal consultant re the anal fissures-they can prescribe diltiazem cream (unless your GP can prescribe it, which they usually can't as it is not licensed use of the cream). Fissures can be very tricky to resolve!
Also, the usual advice about not getting constipated etc. I had a 4th degree tear almost 2 years ago; it sounds like you also need to see a gynae consultant re your problems. For what it is worth, I still see a physiotherapist and am unable to think about having another baby after everything that has happened. I think you've got a lot on your plate with moving house, as well. Be kind to yourself and I hope you feel better.

[feb14mum]

thank u sksk for your reply I am currently under gynecology at my hospital and have 2 weeks left of my treatment with the dilator.

I've tried to register for the trauma birth association but because u have birth in a different county I'm finding it difficult to get access of my notes! I spoke to a helath visitor yesterday and me and husband are going to have a discussion with a midwife nect Friday about trying for another baby.

I need to make a list of questions s u want tto ask her but putting it on to paper I find difficult to explain it

[sksk]

Writing questions down is a very good idea- saves you getting flustered or forgetting. You can make a request for your notes- get in touch with the medical records department at the hospital where you delivered your baby- there is usually a fee and it can take several weeks, but that way you will have your notes. I doubt the midwife will pt you off trying for another baby, but you want to make sure you know what your options are for delivering next time and what the risks and benefits are. Generally, I think the view is having 2 years between pregnancies, but that is based on various conversations with professionals and threads on places like here. I was advised to avoid until I am symptom free, but that is never going to be the case with me. However, we can't try yet anyway. I can't even find a form of conntraception to suit me!

[feb14mum]

yes they are sending me notes over in next few days hopefully. my daughter is 17 months nearly and we looking at starting just after Xmas hopefully. like u say I just need to know what risks and benefits are of the births as considering a c section. may I ask what issues your having from your birth. feel free to private message me if u don't want to make it public