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Anyone fancy helping dh and I to make contraception decision?

(35 Posts)
Indith Mon 21-Jan-13 19:50:59

Dh went to the GP to talk about getting the snip today however, after talking it over with her and discussing the prostate cancer risks he is against it which is fine by me.

But what do we do now?

I have had issues in the past with the pill. Rational brain knows that different pills suit different people and that all hormonal contraceptives are not the same but I worry a lot about it. I went pretty loopy on the pill but it was so gradual and I hate the thought of getting the implant or mirena or something and maybe being ok for 6 months, then maybe going downhill but not putting 2 and 2 together so then maybe spending a year or so getting mroe and more crazy unitl I finally realise. It makes me stressed just thinking about it. Plus I'm about to start a demanding degree so there will be a lot of added stress to mask any symptoms of things being not right with hormonal contraceptives.

So pill, implant, mirena are pretty much out.

Copper coil. Good but not quite as effective as something like the mirena so I would want to use condoms too. Dh and I are a VERY fertile combination. Using condoms kind of defeats the point of getting something long term tbh.

So if all that is ruled out then am I just left with sterilisation?

Which is pretty daunting.

lels99 Mon 21-Jan-13 20:01:45

Watching with interest, exactly the problem facing me!

MikeFlowersPops Mon 21-Jan-13 20:04:19

There are risks involved with any type of contraception. The risk to your DH from having the snip should not automatically override the risks to you from hormonal contraception, sterilisation or unwanted pregnancy.

Indith Mon 21-Jan-13 20:04:49

Maybe there is a magic solution out there we have yet to hear of.

MikeFlowersPops Mon 21-Jan-13 20:08:31

Abstinence? wink

The rhythm method?

xkcdfangirl Mon 21-Jan-13 20:12:25

Talk to someone about the Mirena - don't rule it out completely. It works in a different way to hormonal pills.

With the pill the dose of hormone has to be enough that you can digest it, absorb it into your bloodstream, and have a high enough concentration in your blood to get to your ovaries etc and stop you conceiving. Unsurprisingly, this pretty big dose of hormone can have undesired side effects.

With Mirena, the hormone dose is TINY by comparrison, because it doesn't have to get into your digestion or bloodstream, it is delivered direct to your womb where it is needed. It is too small a dose to affect the rest of your body particularly.

Of course I don't know what your issues with pills were, but perhaps consider it?

Indith Mon 21-Jan-13 20:13:34


Obviously I don't want another baby. Getting pg again would be....well it wouldn't be good. Nor do I want to take all the risks myself, risks of hormonal methods screwing me up plus risks on health in general of the pill for example, but that doesn't mean I should expect dh to assume all the risk.


AnyFucker Mon 21-Jan-13 20:13:58

I think vasectomy is your best choice, tbh

MikeFlowersPops Mon 21-Jan-13 20:14:48

Sorry I'm not being helpful am I.

If it was me I would be pushing DH to have the snip. My argument would be that I've taken full responsibility and all the risks of contraception up till now, and gone through the whole pregnancy / childbirth / childrearing business however many times. So now it's HIS turn.

But I guess it depends on your individual situation, your age, how bad an unwanted pregnancy would be etc.

MarianForrester Mon 21-Jan-13 20:15:14

Essure sterilisation for you. Fab. No anaesthetic or op; brilliant, am so pleased I did it.

Indith Mon 21-Jan-13 20:19:20

The snip would be ideal. But as far as I know from what dh was discussing with the GP is the increase in risk of prostate cancer when you have a vasectomy goes up with the length of time you've had it and dh is only 29 so will have it for rather a long time.

housesalehelp Mon 21-Jan-13 20:21:19

I had not heard this before but had a quite google - this is what cancer research uk say -


A 2002 meta-analysis reported a small increased risk of prostate cancer following vasectomy, with risk ratios increasing with time since vasectomy, from 1.07 in the first 10 years to 1.23 after 30 years.70 A subsequent cohort study showed an association only for low-grade tumours.71
I would say compared to the risks to you of either another preganancy or other forms of contraception -include cancer risk for your and other health issues is seems small -

Mirena is completly different from pill - different hormone - like the mini pill - and many many people find it very good

JustFabulous Mon 21-Jan-13 20:23:44

DH had the snip about 6 years ago. He was never told about any prostate cancer risk, is that a new development?

steben Mon 21-Jan-13 20:24:36

I had the copper coil for similar reasons to you and I am fairly happy so far Plus no hormones so touch wood no worse than average mood swings

Matildaduck Mon 21-Jan-13 20:26:06

Snip, much less risk than pregnancy. His turn to step up to the mark.

QueenofClean Mon 21-Jan-13 20:26:29

Copper coil worked for me for years. Had it removed to have DD2 and not gone back on any since as want to have DC3 but once DC3 has arrived I'm going for sterilisation.

TheSecondComing Mon 21-Jan-13 20:30:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Indith Mon 21-Jan-13 20:30:39

Hmmm. I probably need to have my own turn talking to a GP.

AnyFucker Mon 21-Jan-13 20:32:19

My H was only 5 years older than yours when he had a vasectomy

There was no question.

his turn.

FergusSingsTheBlues Mon 21-Jan-13 20:56:33

I have no idea. Currently leaning towards essure, but husband cant face that idea, and I cant face him being sterilised either.

Dont like hormones, metal in fanjo makes me gag, hate condoms...

Indith Mon 21-Jan-13 21:29:27

well we need to look up the science I think and check all the risks and I will go talk to the gp too. need to make a decision at some point.

AnyFucker Mon 21-Jan-13 21:32:13

He certainly seems to have rather readily grabbed onto that tiniest of tiny risks to himself hasn't he ?

MarianForrester Mon 21-Jan-13 21:55:59

My GP had never heard of Essure, but I did manage to get referred on NHS. Research it before you go is my advice. Honestly,was so quick and easy, am really happy with it.

looby72 Mon 21-Jan-13 22:39:00

I've just logged on here for the first time tonight seeking answers gor the same things!! I'm 7 weeks post c section, 3rd child. Two previous vaginal deliveries. Mis-managed 2nd stage resulting in pelvic floor repairs in 2008 and 2009 (hence the section this time).
Had a row with my husband regarding the attitude of not "fancying" the snip!! Don't fancy going back on the pill, condoms... jesus I, ve enough reduced sensation there as it....just feel I, ve bloody done my bit etc. Why do men view it as such a major deal or a dint in there manhood!

AnyFucker Mon 21-Jan-13 22:52:35

Not all men do, looby

Your husband is being a baby. Tell him to man the fuck up.

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