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Getting a vasectomy when you're considered too 'young'

(10 Posts)
renlo Sat 16-Jul-11 22:32:16

Hi all,

My husband is 35 and I am 32 and we have 2 DDs aged 3.9 and 8 months. We are both very certain that we do not want any more children, despite everyone always asking whether we are going to 'try' for a boy, as if two lovely girls can't be enough confused. We have discussed what would happen should, God forbid, something terrible happen to one or both of them or if we were to split and are both of the view that we still wouldn't want anymore children. We love our kids but both pregnancies were hell and we simply can't afford a third without making very major sacrifices to our way of life. We just feel our family is complete.

So, DH is very keen to get a vasectomy as we want a permanent solution and none of the hormonal contraceptives I have tried has ever agreed with me. DH went to see one of the GPs at our surgery who basically laughed at him, told him he is far too young and that we might want a boy(!) in the future so he should go home and tell his wife about going on the pill of 'she' doesn't want another baby! Those really were his words. DH then saw another GP, who took him a bit more seriously but said since our youngest was under 1 and given DH's age, he should come back and see him again in 3 months and if he still wanted one, they could then discuss it.

This was 2 months ago and needless to say DH is fully intending to back to the same GP next month, but I am beginning to wonder if we are wasting our time? Is the attitude from the GPs fairly common given our circumstances? Does anyone know of anyone quite 'young' who has managed to get a vasectomy on the NHS or are is there no hope for us? Would we have to get it done privately if we want it? Sorry for the glut of questions but just find it astounding that someone who is 35 can be deemed to not know their own mind when it comes to something as personal and as life changing as having children. Any advice tactics to use much appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

JoleneJoleneJoleneJoleeene Sat 16-Jul-11 22:38:32

My dh had one at 33 when our youngest was 6 months. We have 2 dcs. I was told not to have any more after my 2nd birth though as I nearly died. Our Gp didn't question our request.

Sidge Sat 16-Jul-11 22:40:45

See another GP.

Age shouldn't be the deciding factor.

HarrietJones Sat 16-Jul-11 22:49:52

35 isn't exactly young in 'having a baby' terms. I expected you to say 25 or something.

lachesis Sat 16-Jul-11 22:51:23

DH was 33. We have 3 children.

NettoSuperstar Sat 16-Jul-11 22:52:06

I was sterilised at 30 as a single woman with an only child.

nooka Sat 16-Jul-11 22:53:44

dh thinks he was about 32 when he got around to having the snip, but we made the decision pretty much as dd came into the world! It is a very final decision and I think that doctors like to be really sure before making the referral. I guess the second GP might be thinking that your dh is speaking from an 'exhausted from having a baby' standpoint (the first one was obviously out of order). I woudl hope that when he speaks to the GP next month the GP will see that your dh really has thought it through and it's not a snap decision.

We've not regretted dh's vasectomy. It's great not to have to worry about ever being pregnant again!

renlo Sat 16-Jul-11 22:54:26

Thank you, we didn't think 35 was too young at all but was beginning to doubt ourselves given the GPs reactions. Will carry on pushing for it.

mercibucket Sat 16-Jul-11 22:57:21

it's not that bad tbh - my dh went to see the gp and was talked out of having one at all! at least your dh is going back in a few weeks time! I don't really think he is too 'young' - I also was expecting to read '23' or something similar from the title but I can see what they mean about the age of the children - it is often the age when you think 'never again'. I expect it will be booked when he goes back though. If not, time to kick off big time!

renlo Sat 16-Jul-11 23:09:31

Sorry for the misleading title and just confirms how absurd this all is. It was just so weird to hear it from the two GPs and wondered whether it was a blanket NHS policy or if we just have a disproportionate amount of rubbish GPs where we are! I have told DH that if the GP tries to fob him off at his next appointment, I will accompany him to the next and subsequent ones and we will make full nuisances of ourselves until they take us seriously. I can understand their position if it were our first but after 2, I think it's patronising to be told we 'might change our minds'.

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