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Narcissistic MIL and FIL

(3 Posts)
lelrx Wed 11-Sep-19 12:35:34

My husbands parents have bullied him for his existance
Treated him as an object for their own benefits, calling him in the house whilst playing with friends to make them a cup of tea, relying 9n him as a young primary school child to wake them for the school run with a cup of tea and if he was ever late doing so he would be in loads of trouble, this has been ongoing his whole life.
My husband and I have been together for 5 years, we have 1 child together
In the time we have been together his mum has ruined my hen do, wedding, baby shower and the birth of our baby, either by causing a huge argument, not turning up because she was invited over social media (same way everyone else was) or because she didn't want to cooperate with the plans. On the day I had my baby I had a c section, his mom was told she would be the first to see her bar him and my own mom, she agreed, she was told not to turn up in the hospital whilst I was in theatre and that I wanted a few hours to get over the spinal and sort myself out and meet my baby before everyone arrived, however as soon as I was in theatre she turned up, calling my mom up having ago at her and Insisting my mom and her swap in recovery so she could meet her granddaughter, at this point I was trying to establish latching and I couldn't move and was getting frustrated, this then made my baby frustrated, I agreed to the swap because I get too anxious because his mom isn't very nice to us.
Now all of that is over we had a conversation with her about out baby not going around to their house until they stop smoking in the house (they chain smoke about 60 fags a day between them) we said it would be a while for the air to clear and she won't be going over until it does, 2 weeks later they haven't contacted us after making a huge thing of not seeing her, myself and my husband have 1 full time job and have 2 businesses between us so we are always busy whether it be working with our baby or doing household stuff, I believe that if they wanted to see her they would call us or text but they dont, they say they don't know when to call or text because we work, however my husband finishes work at the same time every day and I am home all day until he gets back. They make no effort to see her but make out like we withhold contact. I finally had enough of his mom slagging me off on the phone so sent her a text, nothing nasty just stating the truth and now they are threatening us and bullying us so that we let them get away with it, we are adults with our own home and family, if we don't break the barrier of them trying to control our lives now we never will
My husband is terrified, the only person that he ever feels intimidated by is his step dad, he is a bully and always has been, he's been in jail when he was younger and bullied the children so the fear will always be there so my husband won't stand up for himself. Now I have done and I'm not going to back down.
I have seen the damaged they have caused my husband from their narcissistic behaviour and I have ensured he has seen a therapist which helped a massive amount however I have read online the impact a narcissist can have on a grandchild, I'm guess I'm hoping to hear from someone who has been in a similar situation and can guide me on what to do
I have a feeling they will turn up and try and get in the house or damage our cars, we are dealing with really nasty people here and with my daughter in the house I don't want it
We want them out of our lives but unsure what's the best way to do it because they are harassing my husband who they know they intimidate but ignore my messaged and give him grief about what I have said
Sorry for the long post I just don't know what to do

Windydaysuponus Wed 11-Sep-19 12:37:48

Block them and have cctv installed.
They would not be seeing my dc..

lelrx Wed 11-Sep-19 12:46:36

This is exactly my thoughts it's 100% on my list to do! Thank you x

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