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Affect of newborn on existing family relationships

(2 Posts)
Amiria04 Sat 17-Aug-19 22:31:33

Hello, I gave birth to my little girl just over a month ago. For my family members it was quite a traumatic birth as the emergency buzzer was pulled and I ended up in theatre post delivery due to a haemmhorage. As we live abroad I currently have my parents, brother and sister staying with my husband, baby daughter and I.

My husband had shown sounds of being low in mood last week, taking to bed more frequently and not responding to baby crying as quickly as he had been. This caused concerns with my family and it has snowballed to the point my mum was saying awful things about my husband yesterday (such as she wished I'd never married him, and not to bother living near her and my dad in the future because she couldn't be bothered with my husband) when I was on my own with her. If I try to defend him explaining he's low in mood then I'm told that I'm blind to his manipulative ways. It breaks my heart because my husband has been so thoughtful about my family behind the scenes, for example remembering to order my parents ruby wedding cake and ensuring it was gluten free so my sister could have some when it's completely forgotten. He's always been very supportive of me and my labour would have been a very different experience without him. My mum had a very poor relationship with her own in-laws (rightly so as they were a nightmare and we've all cut contact now), however, I'm concerned perhaps this is impacting on her ability to form positive relationships with new in-laws. Although my husband is not perfect, he's not as bad as my mum thinks. Unfortunately my sister joins sides with my mum and throws out other ridiculously unhelpful suggestions. I wondered if anybody else had noticed changes between family members post birth and what they did to help resolve the conflict? I've never considered counseling before but wondering if this would help provide me with strategies to support my husband and family so that I'm not always in the middle with everybody reporting each other to me?

dementedpixie Sat 17-Aug-19 22:57:09

Have they been with you for a month? Maybe its time they went home to leave you, your dh and your new baby to bond properly

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