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sister doesn't like my lo

(5 Posts)
PZiggy Sun 24-Jan-16 09:26:54

I am quite close to my sister. Our eldest children are very close to each other and thus my sister seems to love my lb unconditionally.

My youngest girl how ever it's a different matter. It's just plain obvious she doesn't really like her. She suggests we leave her behind when we go out. If she comes round when the other 2 at school she barely interacts with her. She makes her cry by teasing her and gets narky when I stick up for my girl. It's all very subtle and low grade but really starting to bug me. My little girl tbh is feisty and can make herself difficult to love sometimes....... But still. She's 4....!
I've really no idea what to do because if she doesn't like my daughter then that's just how she feels right? I just wish she'd make an effort to hide it better but my sister is terrible at hiding her feeling and emotions re anything.

Any advise suggestions welcome. Please don't get me wrong my sister is not an ogar or nasty person. It's just there there ever so slightly all the time......

OP’s posts: |
holeinmyheart Sun 24-Jan-16 16:34:03

Well, without actually talking to your sister you have nothing to go on as evidence, except your feelings.
You need to talk to her and try and explore ' what you feel is troubling you' with her.
If she is not an ogre and you are quite close as sisters then a talk would provide you with some answers.

Hard as it might feel, Face to face, is the only way to resolve conflict.

Perhaps you could have a mutual friend sit in on the conversation. Anyway it needs resolving as it is bugging you. Where is your Dh in this?

PZiggy Sun 24-Jan-16 20:15:44

She's not really that approachable either. If / when I say something it'll be a ruck for sure.
My husband agrees it's obvious they clash. Even my sister has said they very similar in terms of being feisty etc. But also knows she can't help how she feels either. It's just my daughter is only 4 so she needs to be an adult and hide these feelings. I guess I can just read her well.

It just really upsets me and wanted to vent I guess

OP’s posts: |
holeinmyheart Sun 24-Jan-16 21:03:40

Well there are ways of talking to people.

There is aggressive, as in ' what tf are you behaving in such a horrible way to my DD for?

Or assertive, as in ' I would like to talk to you about something that is troubling me and I hope by talking about it, and with your help, that we can resolve the situation.

Is she your older sister?

Otherwise the advice is to keep your DD and your sister apart if you can't protect her, until they have both grown up a bit.

Your sisters behaviour isn't at all nice. Your DD is only four.

You NEED to protect your DD decisively from your sister, otherwise your DD will know that you put your sisters feelings before hers.

My DM didn't protect me from her sisters. She allowed them to be very negative about me when I was young, to my face and about me. I lost respect for my DM big time.

Fortunately, I grew up to be smarter and richer than any of their daughters so I had my revenge. However, I never forgot my DM standing by whilst her sisters insulted me. They were a pretty witch like bunch.

PZiggy Sun 24-Jan-16 21:21:37

Thank you. That's good advise. It's all very subtle and I'm hoping it's going to pass. Or my sister will realise with the odd little comment I make.

Going to monitor for a while and if need be be brave and pipe up.
I just wished she loved her as she is. Which is a very strong willed and assertive little girl. She knows what she wants and fights tooth and nail to get it. My sister is the same so they clash so badly and totally lock horns.
I have said to her why are you lowering yourself to a toddlers standing and she's agreed she does it but states she can't help herself as my daughter runs off crying over something child like like my sister not letting her go first or stealing a sweet. Etc etc.

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