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searching for a relative

(34 Posts)
enterthedragon Sat 26-Dec-15 20:46:20

Hello, I'm trying to find a relative that I have not seen for many years and I'm wondering if this person is still alive, I was wondering if anyone can help me in my search.


dodobookends Tue 29-Dec-15 10:16:09

What have you tried so far, and how much information do you have already?

enterthedragon Tue 29-Dec-15 10:54:34

I have searched on bmd and found marriage and divorce details, another relative went to the local registry office and found nothing, also looked at online death notices for our county and the county of the first marriage, also gave us no leads. The other relative no longer lives in the UK and is the only other member of this persons side of the family.

I suppose what I'm asking is where else can I search?

VulcanWoman Tue 29-Dec-15 11:03:13

Have you tried Facebook, even if they're not on it, maybe other family/friends.

JE1234 Tue 29-Dec-15 11:06:11

Do you know anything about them? What they do for work? Whether they are retired? If they run their own business? Names of any children? Hobbies? If so, those things can help you find further information.

LuluJakey1 Tue 29-Dec-15 11:21:43

Have you just searched their name and the locality they last lived in on google? Or any locality they lived in? Or their name connected to a company or place they worked? Or looked on LinkedIn or Twitter?
Or if it is a woman and she was married, tried her maiden name?
I do lots of family history research and have found relations in these ways. I founds my cousins by writing to a local paper in the last place they lived- 40 years ago- and askng if anyone knew them. They no lnger lved thete but ine of their son's happened to be there on business and saw it. I had an email 48 hours later from my cousin.
Also, another relative contacted me through Genes Reunited. He had put my parents names into a search and they can up - both deceased - but there was a lnk to me and he was able to message me. Worth trying a search there?

LuluJakey1 Tue 29-Dec-15 11:22:31

Sorry for typos. Have wrigglng baby in one arm.

enterthedragon Tue 29-Dec-15 12:45:46

This man would be in his 70's, not on fb (I've looked) not on LinkedIn or twitter (I have been told).

The other relative is the last living relation other than my siblings, myself and our children.

LuluJakey1 Tue 29-Dec-15 13:45:37

Worth trying the other things I suggested.

enterthedragon Tue 29-Dec-15 13:56:49

I knew that he had been married twice, and I've just found out that actually he had been married 4 times, last marriage in a different county but divorced in my home city.

Thanks for mentioning genes reunited Lulu

I am stunned.

JE1234 Tue 29-Dec-15 14:52:53

If you know where the divorce was registered it might be worth trying an electoral roll search in the town.

enterthedragon Tue 29-Dec-15 16:35:57

Nothing in any of the 3 counties electoral rolls.

JE1234 Tue 29-Dec-15 16:38:58

Is it a common name? Have you tried it in 192? You have to pay for detailed results but without paying it will show you the area.

enterthedragon Tue 29-Dec-15 18:29:01

Yes have tried 192 with no luck.

JE1234 Tue 29-Dec-15 18:35:30

The Gazette carries death announcements and also intestacy announcements if there is any chance he might have passed away. You may find reference to him in someone else's announcements if he is alive.

enterthedragon Tue 29-Dec-15 18:45:22

Seems quite a common name however the combination of middle names makes it much less common and more easily traceable, everything I have found and can corroborate has either full name or all initials.

Made mistake earlier, 3rd marriage ended in divorce in my home city, 4th marriage then took place in another county and then there is nothing.

I last saw him during his 2nd marriage, but no later than 1981

JE1234 Tue 29-Dec-15 18:49:46

If his 4th marriage looks like it might be current I'd also go through the steps above for the wife's name. There are several websites you can register with to post notices to lost relatives but it often only works if they or people who know them are also looking. We had success tracking down my DM's adopted brother on if you are willing to put your family tree online. There are also notice boards for certain surnames which can be useful.

enterthedragon Wed 30-Dec-15 03:17:34

There is nothing after the 4th marriage. Mind you i just tried to search my own marriage on genes reunited and that's not on there either.

I've already hit a brick wall with this side of the family tree as part of the family comes from outside of the UK and research of the surname suggests that it is not native to that country either.

BrassMonk Wed 30-Dec-15 03:31:21


Similar to 192 but more detail usually without the pay wall.

dodobookends Wed 30-Dec-15 11:59:41

Have you tried searching for the death of the 4th spouse? If she has passed away, you could send for her death certificate, and there might be more clues on there (whether he was the informant, or if she was a widow etc).

Something else to bear in mind is that he may be ex-directory, so won't come up on phone searches, or may now be resident in a care or nursing home. Also, it is worth searching everywhere rather than just the counties where you think he may be.

Many entries will not yet be on freeBMD or GenesReunited, as they are too recent. A lot of the GenesReunited ones are posted by people researching their family tree, so may not be all that accurate either.

Another option to explore might be asking the Salvation Army for their help, as they are sometimes able to offer assistance in tracing long-lost family members.

enterthedragon Wed 30-Dec-15 20:14:48

Thank you all for your help, I still have not found anything so it looks like I might have to join somewhere and pay for access or go and ask the Sally Ann.

tribpot Wed 30-Dec-15 20:19:45

I wonder if it might be worth paying a private detective? I know it sounds like something out of a 1930s black-and-white movie (you would visit dressed in sharply tailored couture and an amazing hat with a small veil, smoking a cigarette in an ivory holder) but I think missing persons is a major part of their work.

enterthedragon Wed 30-Dec-15 21:44:46

That's a great suggestion, but I would much prefer the magnum pi type

tribpot Wed 30-Dec-15 21:51:56

Would a Hawaii-based detective be best suited to your needs, though? I think I'd be willing to take a chance for a bit of vintage Selleck.

enterthedragon Thu 31-Dec-15 12:14:08

OK I concede, vintage selleck might, in this instance be more appropriate. Seriously though I am still open to any other suggestions that may help.

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