MIL advice(4 Posts)
i really need some honest opinions please. I'm living with my in laws with my partner and 3 children ( youngest is his) I'm so angry all the time with issues with my MIL.
When I first met her she was lovely, couldn't be more helpful, until it come to a point she was making out she was doing everything, making me look inadequate and lazy. It was actually her being very persuasive and saying I was helping her as she would have laid in bed feeling sorry for herself all day. Before we moved into her house she would be at my house everyday, if I didn't answer the phone she would turn up and let herself in as she had a key. I then had my daughter and she thinks she is her mother. She tells me and my partner what to do with her and then says oh, you know how I am, as though it's acceptable. She talks to my kids as though they are hers, she butts in my conversations with them and talks to them like she's their mother. She undermines my authority in front of them, she makes sarcastic remarks constantly and smiles. She purposely leaves my wet washing on her dogs chair, covered in hair. I've noticed lately she's been calling the dog her son and things like mummy will take you for a walk and being very over the top. This dog was my dog, I removed him from my house as he bit my son. She refused to rehome him and kept him. He has bit numerous people since and has gone for all three of my kids. I think she plays people off against each other in this house deliberately. She constantly moans about how deprived she's been for years of attention from her husband and lately he's been completely different. She's 60 and still borrows money from her mum and gets her mum to help her as she claims she's stressed all the time. She doesn't respect mine and my partners privacy and constantly walks in the bathroom when I'm into there claiming her innocence as she laughs. My older child has disabilities and she winds him up to abuse an argument then claims he's been hard work. We are waiting for a council house due to my coming out of work because I don't want to leave my daughter in her care and no longer being able to afford our rented accommodation. I am also going through court with my sons father which is very stressful. She keeps making remarks like I'm surprised you haven't had a breakdown yet. My partner has been drinking since we've been here every evening 4-8 cans of cider. He's become abusive verbally and physically. He doesn't listen to me and has no care for my feelings. His parents know and have seen all of this but have said I can't leave because of the children and he will keep my daughter if I go. He's mother has also told me I can't take his daughter away from him and I need to stop making it about me. I'm literally at my breaking point. I have no family or friends and am feeling very isolated. How can I put boundaries in place when no one has respect for me and I'm in their family environment?
I'm really sorry to hear that and I hope things take a turn for the better for you soon. I don't know what advice to offer you 😕
perhaps ask MN to move this to relationships? there are many knowledgable and supportive people there
Firstly I'm sorry your life is like this at the moment. Just remember it doesn't have to be like this forever. If your husband is violent call the police. It is not ok for him to behave like that. If you feel you are at breaking point go to your dr. Explain the situation and how stressed you are. They can help and put you in contact with the appropriate people to help you. Your mil saying they will keep your daughter won't happen. Mil's do not get custody of grandchildren. Your mil and partner may lie and say things were different when asked so I'd keep a diary of what's going on and when that you can refer to. I hope this helps x
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