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Working full time

(6 Posts)
kdvdsn Mon 25-Aug-14 22:02:58

I'm new at this and have read other threads with similar topics.

I have a two year old and had worked part time up until a few months ago when I was eventually offered a degree related career! Full time. I thought it was what I always wanted but now since starting I'm regretting every minute of it.

Don't get me wrong, I love the job and I can see a progressive future with it but I'm leaving my two year old every morning 8am - 5pm and it's tearing me apart!!
Not only this but I'm seeing a difference in his behaviour too and he's always been so loving and close toward me but less so now.

I've used so many holidays already taking days off to spend with him and it feels great at the time but then, when I return to work every day again, I feel that I'm back at square one again re my emotions and his behaviour.

I thought the career move was for the benefits of his future and the savings are increasing, but is it worth it when I'm missing his whole childhood.

Please can someone help me with this?
Thank you hmm

daisydee43 Tue 16-Sep-14 18:30:59

this is what annoys me abt careers - the only jobs that exist are full time angry i would love a career degree related job but am not prepared to give up more than 4 days a week. even if youve already got a career and want to cut hours it may not work out as 2 of my cousins found out - one was told its full time only so at the last minute found a job share and the other got demoted.

i work part time in a make do job but am holding out for a part time career - actually saw one advertised recently but am due to go on mat leave soon.

ninjanina Wed 08-Oct-14 18:38:02

I agree with edaisydee43 that all the decent jobs are only full time (plus). SOOO frustrating.

I used to be a full time software developer and I only got to work part time after I had a burnout and this was an official recommendation from my doctor as the burnout was work-related. My illness was brought about by trying to balance a full time demanding career with caring for my first child. I'd wanted a child forever and when he eventually arrived I felt quite depressed that I had to spend so much time away from him most of the time, most of the week.

Not sure that I can give you any practical advice - I just wanted to say that I recognise the doubts you're having regarding sacrificing spending time with your child. This weighed on my mind so much when I went back to work after he was born and I was really torn about the situation at the time. I had always been so career minded and felt quite confused.

After I dropped my amazing salary software developer job I switched to freelance working from home and took a massive drop in income. BUT I have never, ever, ever looked back. I am always here when my boys go to school and I'm always here when they finish school. I'm here to enjoy these children I always wanted. I appreciate this is a luxury for me to be able to do this and not everyone has this opportunity (I started from scratch with no clients by the way so it wasn't at all easy), but I think if you have the choice then go with your heart. I have a partner with a good income so the risk was minimal for me leaving my career behind.

I have sincerely never looked back after leaving a career I that worked my backside off for. I can still get interviews for great jobs after 7 years of being self employed so as long as you have something meaningful to put on your CV then your career can be put on a back burner. Taking time out doesn't mean sacrificing your career for the rest of your life.

Gen35 Tue 04-Nov-14 15:29:28

Is this job completely impossible to do either more flexibly or 4 days a week? Can you sit down with them and look at ways of either building in more flexibility by 1) varying start and end times on some days 2) finishing early on say a Friday and making up the hours working from home or 3) requesting 4 days a week. Also is there a DH that could try and pick ds up early one day so you don't feel he's being shoved in childcare all the time? you've worked hard for this, I'd really think about options before giving up. Can you afford better childcare?

MillionPramMiles Tue 04-Nov-14 16:34:22

It's really tough - agree that software development is one of the few areas where I do know of freelance working with a reliable, decent income. But many professions just don't facilitate it.

Of my (few - ok two) friends who seem to have managed to keep up career development and a decent income, whilst essentially being self-employed so able to work flexibly, there is one thing in common. It didn't happen by accident, they had a firm long term plan and were diligent in networking, maintaining contacts, speaking at/attending conferences etc. Sometimes that meant travelling or working at short notice and all of them retained some degree of formal childcare until the kids were at school.

Incidentally, 4 days a week doesn't itself help with school drop offs/pick ups. It helps with chores though.

Nolim Tue 06-Jan-15 08:49:50

I work full time (45 hours per week)and like my job. During maternity leave my little one was very close to me, now closer to dh. It used to bother me but then i though why does it bother me that my child loves dad? I know that i am doing what is best for my family and treasure more than ever the tome i spend with my little one.

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