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Husband looking at girls profiles on fb

(12 Posts)
Kayleighann Wed 19-Oct-16 09:41:41

Last night I looked at the history on my husbands phone. He sits on it 24/7 and I was just curious. The history was lots of girls profiles on fb. All pretty, skinny big boobs etc.
He's not friends with the girls he's clicking on their fb pictures. To make things worse they are girls that are like friends of friends so girls we have seen b4.
Also on the history was lots of porn pages which I'm not that bothered about most blokes look at porn but the looking at girls on fb girls that we know has made me sick to the stomach.
I'm so upset about it all, I confronted him and he got upset and swore he only looks and doesn't know why he does.
We have been married for 10 years and have always been so happy. I've always felt so lucky that we have such a great relationship.
He's a good husband and father. He has never cheated or ever given me a reason to think he would ever cheat. We have a good sex life.

I'm devastated and don't know what to do. I feel so upset that I'm sat cuddled up to him in the evening and he's on his phone looking at other girls.
I've been sat up crying all night, thinking why is he doing this and if he's doing this now while we are so happy then god knows what he will do in years to come.
I just don't know how we can move on from this, and how I can trust him.

MidsummersNight Wed 19-Oct-16 09:43:27

Not much useful advice, but just to say this would also really really bother me. flowers

Someone far better at this will come along and give you solid advice smile

TheresAlwaysTimeForTea Wed 19-Oct-16 09:50:37

Have you spoken to him about it yet OP? Why were you looking at his phone in the first place - not asking in a judgemental way, more of an observation, i.e. you must have been a bit suspicious to want to look though his history. I would just speak to him and see what his reaction is like.

Kayleighann Wed 19-Oct-16 09:55:39

I had a feeling he was looking at porn or something because he's always on his phone. I was curious and Had it just have been porn I wouldn't have even mentioned it to him but I couldn't believe it wen it was picture after picture of girls on fb. Literally loads.
Yes I went crazy at him and he started crying saying he loves me and I'm his whole world, he doesn't know why he was looking at these girls. And that they are just pictures he's not done anything wrong!

TheresAlwaysTimeForTea Wed 19-Oct-16 09:59:14

Has he saved their pics to his phone? Very stupid behaviour on his part. How do you feel about it OP? On the plus side his reaction is positive - a lot of blokes in his position deflect by blaming you for looking at the phone and try to minimise. He's said sorry which is a start. I don't buy the 'it's only pictures so there's nothing wrong' argument though - you need to try to bottom out why he was looking at them in the first place. Is your relationship normally good OP?

SexTrainGlue Wed 19-Oct-16 10:09:17

How young are these girls?

I am assuming that they are at least teenagers (from your comment about perceptible breasts) but this seems pretty off in itself, let alone the disrespect he is showing to you by such perving.

Kayleighann Wed 19-Oct-16 10:09:53

He just says he doesn't know why he's looking at them and that they pop up on his timeline!!!! So he just clicks to have a look. And that it's no different to looking at a picture of a famous person! It's just looking.
I just can't stop crying and shaking I feel so betrayed.
We have a great relationship (so I thought) we have never had any problems.
I just don't know how I can ever look at him the same.

chowchowchow Wed 19-Oct-16 10:19:22

To be honest I don't think there's a need to worry. I often find myself looking at profile after profile just because I'm nosey. I start off looking at my friend's profile and by the end of it I know all about their cousins best friends sisters daughters grandads holiday to Florida!
If he hasn't been 'friending' them or sending them messages I would just pass it off.
How are you feeling about yourself right now? Is your confidence low? Maybe you should go have a lil retail therapy/get your hair/nails done for a little confidence boost and perhaps you would feel better about yourself and remember he married YOU, you're the love of his life and for good reason!

Kayleighann Wed 19-Oct-16 10:19:25

They girls are 25/30 all the typical fake boobs and trout pout etc

Kayleighann Wed 19-Oct-16 10:21:55

Thanks chowchow, I have felt fine with myself but now at this very moment I feel like s**
I make alot of effort everyday hair make up etc but feel like a flat chested whale compared to the pics he's been looking at.

Peach9876 Wed 19-Oct-16 10:27:06

Chowchow I think if it was a mixture of men/women/relatives with links (friends of friends) in between then I could pass it off as being nosey.
But woman after woman after woman. Most/some of which he's come across in real life would concern me. I wouldn't want my DP looking at the profile of some woman in this sort of situation.

Now if my DP was out with friends and met a woman and added her to FB I wouldn't worry, but looking at various women's profile pictures seems a little 'odd'.

DeleteOrDecay Wed 19-Oct-16 10:39:47

I'm sorry op, this would upset me too. I disagree that he's not done anything wrong, I hope you can get to the bottom of why he was seeking out and looking at these women.

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