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DD desperately wants to go on Brownies trip for 6 days, but I'm not keen

(28 Posts)
lljkk Mon 11-May-09 16:35:09

We have to get deposit in by May 20th.
The centre is a 75 minute drive away.
She has only attended one Brownies mtg so far.
Trip is in August, total cost=£110.
She has never spent a night away from us.
She HATES HSM & Hannah Montana.
She likes Lego, Astrosaurs & Dirt Bertie instead.
She has no close friends going & (atm) barely knows anyone else in Brownies.

She is a mostly confident & articulate 7yo,

BUT

DH reckons she'll get horribly homesick.
I'm afraid she'll get bullied & not have a gang of staunch friends to stand up for her or play with instead.

WWYD?

ruddynorah Mon 11-May-09 16:41:21

or..

she might have a fabulous time
make lots of new friends
get lots of new interests

amd your dh will miss her loads wink

Tamarto Mon 11-May-09 16:43:19

How much is the deposit?

If it's a fair bit, i'd be inclined to ask brown owl if you could hold off making a decision for a few extra weeks to see how she gets on.

fluffles Mon 11-May-09 16:45:05

my experience of brownies is that there is a HUGE emphasis on making new members very welcome and the structure is set up to integrate the girls into the pack well.

i wouldnt' be surprised if she has lots of friends by the end of this term and will feel awful if she can't go in august.

how much is the deposit? would it be the end of the world if you paid it and she changed her mind in june/july?

also, what is the trip? is it HSM/girly? or is it adventurous and outdoorsy and more her thing?

ScummyMummy Mon 11-May-09 16:47:36

If she wants to go that badly I think you should let her go. She can always ring you and get picked up if it's awful, can't she? You could even schedule a visit mid-way through to check all is well. £110 sounds v reasonable for a whole week to me. I'd miss mine if they were away for a week too and they're 10(!) but I don't think that would be a good reason to stop them doing something potentially fab, especially if they were very keen to try it.

lljkk Mon 11-May-09 18:13:16

£40 is the deposit. It might be partly refundable (I need to talk to Brown Owl, but I am still trying to get my brain around what Questions to ask her). It's an adventure outdoor place, but what film do you think they'll show if the weather turns foul?
I don't mind paying £110, but I don't want to pay it and then have to fetch her if she's miserable partway thru.

All this Brownie groups girly crowd of friends thing is unfamiliar to me. I was bullied as a child and DH was homesick, so those are the parts we can most easily relate to.

Tinker Mon 11-May-09 18:21:54

But please don't pass on your worries about childhoods to her.

Why not offer a few dvds for Brown Owl to take?

Agree with all teh positive comments already posted

MIAonline Mon 11-May-09 18:43:15

I do agree with all the other posts, but I would also say that she is 7 and if you don't feel comfortable about her going yet, there will be plenty more opportunities over the coming years. IMO, a week is a long time for a 7 year old, but I appreciate that I am probably in the minority on this one.

MaureenMLove Mon 11-May-09 19:22:11

Please don't offer a DVD for Brown Owl to take! She won't need it! Brown Owl, remember, has probably been doing this for years. She will have oodles of things for them to do from the moment they open there eyes, to the moment they flop into bed exhausted!

I agree with others that say, she'll have plenty of Brownie friends by the end of term. It usually takes about a fortnight for them to become best buddies with someone and there's still about 8 sessions before August.

Tinker Mon 11-May-09 19:28:27

Just a suggestion to avoid potential HSM/Hannah Montana predictabilty

MadBadandDangerousToKnow Mon 11-May-09 23:46:27

As another Brown Owl, I'd also say please do speak to her about your concerns but please don't expect her to delay the booking while you make up your mind. I feel into this trap recently - I held off booking for a fabulous event while one family dithered, because I didn't want to exclude that Brownie if she wanted to come - and then, of course, the event was oversubscribed and nobody got a ticket.

You could also ask Brown Owl about visiting mid-week but you need to think about whose benefit the visit would be for. I've only ever organised two-night trips, but the advice I received from my training mentor (and experience has borne this out) is that Brownies cope very well with being away from home for the first time until a parent rings them mid-trip to ask them if they're homesick. That's when they crumple.

I'd also advise against offering Brown Owl a DVD. She's probably got 101 activities planned, none of them involving DVDs. But, equally, if the majority vote from the Brownies was for HSM or Hannah Montana, then that's democracy in action.

skramble Mon 11-May-09 23:56:22

I am a Brownie leader too,

she will not get bullied she will make freinds, she will have lots to do, but....

I do think for a first trip for a young new brownie 6 days is a long holiday. I would perhaps wait until after the summer, if they are the kind of pack that do 6 day summer holidays they will no doubt do sleep overs, weekends and day trips.

We had a weekend recently and the two brownies that seemed to enjoy it the most were the newest ones who made their promise on the holiday, but it was a 2 night local holiday.

She will have three years in the Brownies so plenty time to go on pack holidays and enjoy all that their is to do in Brownies.

seeker Tue 12-May-09 00:02:07

Why do you think she'll be bullied? In my experience Brownies put a lot of emphasis on making friends and looking after each other. And it's a long time til August - she'll have lots of Brownie frinds by then!

Why do you think they'll show films if it's raining?

I would try and get her to spend a night or two away from you with friends or family first, though.

LovingtheSilverFox Tue 12-May-09 00:05:27

If your daughter is confident and outgoing, she'll love it! Homesickness won't be on the adgenda as she'll be too busy climbling up things/over things/into things to notice, you'll spend the week feeling ill, and jumping every time the phone rings!

I am a guide leader, and there is no bullying on my patch! Leaders will have an experienced person with them (if they aren't very experienced themselves) and there will always be an adult she can talk to IF she feels she needs to (which she won't, she sounds just the sort of girl that will suit Brownies).

Please don't stop her going, almost all guides and brownies say that holidays are the best bit!

LovingtheSilverFox Tue 12-May-09 00:07:27

Also, to add, there would not be any DVDs on our holidays, indoor activities (if required) will still be centred around the theme of the holiday, and most of the time (given the option) our girls will pick any activity other than a film!

lljkk Tue 12-May-09 11:56:14

She is confident & sociable. She won't be far off 8yo when she goes (if she goes).
I was thinking against a mid-wk visit, too.

Thanks for replies, esp. all the positive feedback about how these trips work. I will consult with Brown Owl.

MaureenMLove Tue 12-May-09 16:32:35

Good. smile Don't visit midweek either, if she goes. Brown Owl probably would advise against is because a)DD probably won't want to see you! b)if you can go, then she'll have to let all the other parents go and c) Brown Owl and all the Brownies will be far too busy to worry about having to factor in a family afternoon! grin

mosschops30 Tue 12-May-09 16:37:24

am shock that at 7 your dd has never spent a night away from you!!!!

My dd loved Brownies, couldnt get enough of the trips and no she wasnt a popular type of girl either, just a regular smile
If you have a good brown owl (and dd's was amazing, even I wouldnt mess with her lol) then your dd will be fine.
Brown Owl was tough, took no messing, had the brownies trained like an army, but was also very into giving hugs to those who were homesick, wanted to know important things like had any of them had periods etc, always made sure the girls had teddies or reminders of home.

let her go!

bigTillyMint Tue 12-May-09 16:39:10

I agree with all the postive posts above - she will have a ball. My DD goes to brownies and has been on several holidays. She HATES HSM and Hannah Montana, but that has never been a problem as they don't do anything like that at brownies - they are too busy doing their chores! DD came back from one hol begging to be allowed to clean the loo at home as that was her favourite choregrin

piscesmoon Tue 12-May-09 16:50:01

If she is keen to go, don't let your worries put her off. She will have a great time and the leaders will make sure that she isn't bullied and that everyone integrates. I don't think that anyone does cheaper holidays than the Scouts and Guides.

piscesmoon Tue 12-May-09 16:50:27

If she is keen to go, don't let your worries put her off. She will have a great time and the leaders will make sure that she isn't bullied and that everyone integrates. I don't think that anyone does cheaper holidays than the Scouts and Guides.

piscesmoon Tue 12-May-09 16:51:06

Sorry-don't know why it went twice!

MmeLindt Tue 12-May-09 17:00:12

I agree with everyone else.

I was a Brownie and my parents were Scout leaders. I cannot imagine that they would take DVDs if it is raining, surely the Brownies have not changed that much in the past <cough> 30 years.

Don't go midweek to check up on her, it will just unsettle her.

I would sign her up.

MadBadandDangerousToKnow Tue 12-May-09 17:03:47

Mme Lindt you are a mere slip of a girl. It's <splutter> 40 years since I was a Brownie.

lljkk Tue 12-May-09 18:46:21

Thanks for all the further positive feedback.
I just didn't know how well DD would fit in with lots of other girls she barely knows -- hence worries about bullying.

I won't miss her much, sadly -- too many other dc.

DH's first comment when I suggested the idea was "What, we can get rid of one of them for a week for just £110? Can we send them all away, then?"

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