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Reception/Y1 sort of age - activities with or without parent??

(9 Posts)
drspouse Thu 31-Aug-17 13:43:40

Almost all of the extra curriculars that we've tried over the last few years (some for 1 session, some for a term/longer, and some ongoing) seem to expect that the DCs transition to being without a parent in the activity at some stage ranging from about 3yo to when they start Reception.

So for example ballet/dancing and swimming have solo classes at 3, and dancing expects parents not to watch, while we watch swimming classes if we want to/can (I've had periods of a very active DC2 wanting to leap in the pool and the teachers were fine with me taking DC2 out!)

Beavers isn't till 6yo but I'm a Guide leader and I know with Rainbows they expect parents to leave them for most of the first session and thereafter excepting SEN to leave them entirely.

Sunday school ditto - ours expects parents in with them until they start school, we had a slow transition but now our DS who is about to start Y1 manages Sunday School quite well on his own.

DS would ideally prefer one of us to be in all activities with him as he is moderately clingy but a) he behaves better and participates better without us (fairly typical I know!) and b) most of the classes don't want or expect parents to be there either.

However we've been going to a music class which is at a family music centre that has groups for adults too. The youngest groups overlap with my group. I had been working on transitioning DS to attending one of the groups on his own but that group folded due to lack of numbers. I've now asked if he can go into another group but I've been told that is only for parents with children, and parents must participate (that part wouldn't be a problem for me - but I can't attend both!)

Would you typically expect that group music sessions at this age would be for parents AND children? It just seems odd compared to other activities for this age group.

Given he's more likely to mess around if we ARE there, and from my experience with Rainbows this is really common at this age, it seems rather counterproductive to expect parents to be there anyway.

(DH can't take him to the music group because DC2 is too young to attend. DH is also not at all musical, this is "my" thing, and I will at some point want to enrol DC2 as well).

InflagranteDelicto Thu 31-Aug-17 14:16:15

Tricky. Is there a different session that would work for you if you tried the new session with ds? It does seem an odd set up, but maybe it's because they want you to continue the sessions at home during the week, and feel the parents would understand it better by participating? Wild ideas!

drspouse Thu 31-Aug-17 15:18:31

I think that's why, but piano teachers etc usually send the music home and expect practice to be supervised - and there's a mention of sending music home.
There are only two sessions I could go to, and the other one is two hours long and clashes with something else. I do want to play my instrument in an ensemble, but not to the detriment of my whole family Saturday. Plus it would be impossible
hard to get DS to wait through that session and a pain for DH to come and get him (one car, my heavy instrument, other DC).

It's just a bit odd for a class for this age. Preschool age I totally get! My 3yo wouldn't do a music and movement class without me! But this is up to Y2 - children sing in church choirs at 7 quite happily, and indeed go away on sleepovers without parents.

Minimusiciansmama Thu 31-Aug-17 16:03:15

I agree that in many ways it's odd, but my daughters music lessons were the very last thing she did independently- wayyyy after everything else, shes 7 and has only just begun to have them alone in preparation for her starting JD- and being in there was a huge benefit to both of us. Particularly in supporting her practise. But this class sounds like it isn't quite the level of formal music lessons so I can see why it seems bit odd. It would be a real shame for you to lose your music. Is there any possibility of your little one having a private lesson while you have ensemble?

drspouse Thu 31-Aug-17 16:12:42

I asked about piano lessons but they are full up (the centre has only one piano teacher) and he's too little for other lessons.
It's really not very formal as you say!
The odd thing is the previous group (with or without parents) was very low on numbers and I can't really see a session where parents MUST attend being more popular really.

InflagranteDelicto Thu 31-Aug-17 23:13:40

Not necessarily too young. My friends son started cello when not much older. Are you able to find a teacher outside the centre maybe?

(just curious - what do you play?)

drspouse Fri 01-Sep-17 19:51:40

I play a large unusual wind instrument wink.

I can ask about the other individual lessons too - I've been trying to teach him recorder - I think he'd love eventually to learn the trumpet but he's definitely too young for that. Not a success trying to teach him recorder myself though!

I am not sure he or we are ready for a string instrument though!

InflagranteDelicto Sat 02-Sep-17 23:03:43

Racking my brains trying to remember different wind instruments! I took up euph 2 years ago after 2 years on cornet... Love my euph. Trumpet /cornet, youngest did a year in y3, enjoyed. She's now learning trombone, not so keen because it takes more effort. Cornet is simple though, you'd be surprised. Maybe give him a blow first, see what happens?

drspouse Sat 11-Nov-17 13:49:20

Me again - not much further forward here. There is it turns out another session for preschool up to Y1 approx and we've been trying it but after me sitting with him for a few weeks and a few without me the teacher has suggested he wait till next year "when he might get more out of it". He's already in Y1 so is one of the oldest. But he's the only one on his own.
It's just a bit odd to me that school and all other activities cope with unaccompanied 5yos but music seems to want the parents there.
I will be the first to admit that he's not the easiest child. He probably has some SEN, but we're unlikely to get a diagnosis. Mainly coordination and behaviour are affected.

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