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Bullying/social exclusion in dance school - opinions?

(15 Posts)
MiaowTheCat Thu 04-May-17 17:05:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sewingjassy Thu 04-May-17 17:33:47

It's probably time to speak to the dance school owner, the parents of the child (ren) in question need to be approached I would say. They ought to take it seriously.

Yes to the comp/non comp parents and children divide! It's so bloomin' obvious at times. Or new comp people whose faces don't fit. I also know of girls who have left schools because of cliques/bullying.

nonicknameseemsavailable Thu 04-May-17 19:52:46

you do need to speak to them and perhaps when you do, give them a letter too, it is very hard for the teachers in dance schools to have time to chat between classes, especially for something that will take a bit longer.

our school wouldn't stand for that kind of behaviour and we do have at least a few really difficult children who the others find hard to get on with.

MiaowTheCat Fri 05-May-17 08:03:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nonicknameseemsavailable Fri 05-May-17 13:42:52

It is probably 1 child and 1 parent at the root of it all and chances are this isn't the first time x

Witchend Fri 05-May-17 14:03:54

I wouldn't go into the "competition group" and "fun group" because the owner may well want to keep the competition group happy. It also makes it look like you're categorising into them and us.

I would email them say exactly what's going on and ask for a time to speak.
If they won't listen then vote with your feel. There'll be other schools that will deal with it.

Dd2 left her school she's been with 10 years after I spoke to the teacher who first denied it and then when I said i'd watched it happening the day before only offered that she should rise above it. She was the fourth child from her class to leave due to this child. I know at least 3 others who have left subsequently, and I suspect others.

She's now at a school where I emailed to let the teacher know that dancing could be a flash point for her anxiety as she'd been bullied in dance and I got a response within an hour that said roughly. "Oh I'm so sorry, I hadn't noticed anything, please tell me who it is and I'll speak to the parents as soon as I can get hold of them. I'm not having bullying in my class..." She was very relieved when she found it was the old school not hers.
That is why there is, for my knowledge, no bullying in the new school-they all seem really supportive of each other, and the other school had a major issue with it still.

MiaowTheCat Fri 05-May-17 16:47:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlexanderHamilton Fri 05-May-17 20:08:48

I feel for you op.

When dd was in primary her class was quite small there were about 11/12 girls in the class & they split into two distinct friendship groups. Dd's friendship group was a group of 6 girls.

Several times dd would be the only one out of this group of 6 not invited to an event. it was very upsetting for her.

AlexanderHamilton Fri 05-May-17 20:09:15

Wrong thread how did that happen?

mogmum Sun 07-May-17 16:22:11

Similar thing happened to me but my dd is older, Group of girls ( funnily that used to all go to the same Saturday classes whereas my dd didn't) The pushy parents trying to move them into the higher grades and do exams quicker and all very good friends with the teachers/owners so the kids got what they wanted all the time whereas my dd had to work her butt off and not get recognized.
One day my dd came home and said that she had had enough and when I spoke to the owner it was plain to see that she didn't believe me, so I voted with my feet and left.
She attends another local dance school now and shes really happy there.

I hope you can get it sorted as it's a horrible situation to be in

MiaowTheCat Sun 07-May-17 17:39:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lottieandmia Wed 10-May-17 10:26:45

This sounds like jealousy of your dd to me.

There is no way I would let my child be bullied out of a dance school but if the staff are unwilling to address it then definitely try to find another school - there must be another solution?

dodobookends Wed 10-May-17 13:49:42

OP, your dd's are still really young, and they would soon settle in to another dance school if you were to move them. If you aren't happy with how this is being dealt with by the current school, then go with your gut instinct about what is best for your dd's.

MiaowTheCat Wed 10-May-17 18:48:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrollMummy Mon 15-May-17 17:09:25

I hope it gets resolved OP. I think there is an element of cliquishness at many dance schools, mainly among the fiercely competitive 'dance mom' types determined that their child is going to be a star. At DDs dance school the kids are mostly ok it is the mums that are the problem. It's the ones that sit and criticise or comment on the kids dancing that bother me, as if taking your DD to dance lessons suddenly makes you an expert. I keep a low profile and just drop and run when I can and ignore them as much as possible.

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