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Will you hold my hand today please?

(22 Posts)
Helenluvsrob Wed 02-Nov-16 16:27:59

Mad as it seems I could do with support from a bunch of random internet strangers , and you lot are all so lovely smile

As you may know I have lost both my parents recently, Mum in Feb 15 and Dad April 16. Today I want/have to go and hear DD2 sing Faure requiem at the cathedral. It will be amazing I know. DH also singing in it.

However I'll be on my own. It's for all Souls Day. There will be lots of stuff about remembering those we've lost etc etc. Normally I don't hav too much of a problem, but i think I might just howl remembering how much Grandma and Poppa would have loved the be there and how proud they'd be of DD2. DD1 and DD2 also sang the Pie jesu at mums funeral.

It's going to be a toughie.... Not going isn't an option


ohdearme1958 Wed 02-Nov-16 16:30:03

OP this is to acknowledge your heartbreak and to wish you well for today. 💐

thesandwich Wed 02-Nov-16 16:34:03

Oh Helen support, a shoulder, a hand to hold and a big bunch of tissues( unused I promise) ready for the service.
Howling is allowed. Just imagine all the legions of fellow mners especially from the elderlies threads there with you in spirit.
And be proud.

Fleurdelise Wed 02-Nov-16 17:49:05

flowers to you and lots of positive thoughts, I am sorry for your loss.

raspberryrippleicecream Wed 02-Nov-16 18:10:18


I am also at a Faure requiem for All Souls this evening, (DS2 singing obviously) and I will be thinking of you and your parents, alongside my own parents.

Greenleave Wed 02-Nov-16 18:12:57

flowers to you Helen!!

stringchild Wed 02-Nov-16 18:26:35

oh Helen - so sorry, that will be tough. Thinking of you x

Wafflenose Wed 02-Nov-16 18:37:48

Sorry for your loss. You're allowed to cry if you want to.

My grandad was so proud and supportive of me when I was learning the clarinet - right from age 7 until I got into university, then both grandparents would come along to watch my university concerts. They both died when my kids were 6 and 3, so never got to see music passed down to the next generation. I can't bring myself to think about how my grandad would feel if he could see my two now, and particularly Goo in the NCO - it's still raw, five years on. But I know he would be immeasurably proud, as would your parents be tonight.


se22mother Wed 02-Nov-16 18:54:38

flowers Helen

ErrolTheDragon Wed 02-Nov-16 18:59:25

flowersThere isnt a 'hanky' emoji, you may well need one. Tbh that event sounds like one which could make many people well up. Emotion in such circumstances is nothing to be ashamed of.

Helenluvsrob Wed 02-Nov-16 19:17:35

Huge thanks all. Having a bracing half in the pub opposite while she rehearses. Utter panicked nightmare getting here as the trains are shot. Drove out without my bag just to get her on at the next station and ended up fighting the traffic all the way here. Thank goodness for parking apps and Apple Pay ! Was in tears in the way in but I don't think she noticed. I hope she won't remember this was at grandmas funeral till after. Can't have her in tears too.
Thank you all for your lovely thoughts.

indiana7 Wed 02-Nov-16 20:18:04

So sorry for your loss, you're a wonderful mom & I'm sure you're parents ar watching on proudly, you must be so proud of your dd's

raspberryrippleicecream Wed 02-Nov-16 21:24:55

I hope yours was as lovely as ours has been Helen. I especially thought of you during the Pie Jesu.

My Dad died long before my children were born, and my Mum died when DC were small. These threads have been amazing places to share achievements, and it's special to hand hold and see each other through the hard times too.

Hope you're ok.

ealingwestmum Thu 03-Nov-16 12:04:51

Days like today are such a poignant reminder of how proud your parents would be of your maturing children Helen

I know you've had a tough few's to better times, hope today went well flowers

ealingwestmum Thu 03-Nov-16 12:06:58 spite of the series of mishaps sent to derail you!

drummersmum Thu 03-Nov-16 14:37:14

Helen sorry for your loss. This is the power of music, it can feel like it's just augmenting our emotions and taking us to places it's painful to be in, but most of the time it's healing us.

pugsandseals Thu 03-Nov-16 16:10:20

I like to think of a Requiem as a celebration of life ending with real hope for the future. An opportunity to review what is important in our own lives & how we plan to honour the generations before us in our future plans. Sorry if that's a bit too deep, but having also lost 2 family members in the last 16 months my only way through it has been to focus on the future & next generations. Thinking of you x

Icouldbeknitting Thu 03-Nov-16 17:01:14

Helen as I've lost track of the days I thought you were there now and only just stopped making a muppet of myself. I hope that it was a positive experience for you rather than a painful one.

Helenluvsrob Thu 03-Nov-16 21:15:02

Thank you so much team. Your comments really held me up when it got really tough.

It was beautiful. Managed to more or less restrict myself to silent sniffling. Hadn't even got my glasses so crying my lenses out would have been a disaster !

6 senior girls and 1 choral scholar did a magnificent job with the men. Dd said she nearly lost it in the pie Jesu but concentrated on singing and survived.

Pugs you are so right about it being a celebration of life and hope in the future. That's what carries me 95% of the time. My parents were pretty amazing parents and grand parents. I'm trying to take some of that on. I'm certainly loving having bigger kids and seeing how they are growing as adults in their own right.

Helenluvsrob Thu 03-Nov-16 21:20:24

Raspberry. Glad your requiem was lovely. I've got to go to all these " lasts" and really fix them in my memory. Sniffle ;)

thesandwich Thu 03-Nov-16 21:56:05


LooseAtTheSeams Thu 03-Nov-16 22:37:32

Helen just saw this - sounds like it was very moving and very beautiful. I lost both my parents when DSs were little and it is so hard when great things happen to them and you can't share the good news (although their paternal grandparents are lovely and very doting). It's always music that reminds me as well.
How brave of you and how brave of your DD! She did brilliantly. You must be so proud! flowers to you both.

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