Teacher's ethics

[Worriedandlost]

Dd has problems with concentration, though it is difficult to understand when she is really not listening or when she appears not to be listening as she has her specific learning style.

She recently had a disastrous music lesson, being all over the place (holidays taking its toll + break between lessons) and her new teacher (only had few lessons with him) said to her "X, why is it taking you 5 minutes to understand something what other children understand in 1 second?!" and sounding very irritated.

Am I right in thinking that it is a bit over the top, or is it ok and I am overthinking it?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Firstly, were you there? Just checking as some children don't always report what has happened accurately.

If it is the case that he said this, I'd be upset, yes.

[damselinthisdress]

When you say learning style and difficulty concentrating, do you mean that she has a type of SEN? If so you are absolutely NBU.

If you don't mean that though, just that she prefers to be taught differently you're still not being entirely unreasonable, the teacher should not be singling any child out like that, but at the same time your DD needs to work on her concentration. Learning styles don't really have much of a place in the classroom these days, that notion has been phased out over the last few years.

[noblegiraffe]

Teacher gets exasperated with a kid who is all over the place for no apparent reason?

Not a great comment, but possibly a human one.

[Worriedandlost]

I was there yes, so this is my quote.
And yes, child's difficulties are real difficulties, SEN like, which I was trying to explain to the teacher as soon as the issue arose for the first time. By learning style I meant that sometimes she appears like not concentrating at all but then in fact taking everything on board. I am concerned that if I was right in my feeling that this was too much I had to tell him something on spot which I didn't, in a way I feel like I let my child down.

[Worriedandlost]

noblegiraffe I totally agree and this is why I never had any issues with other teachers who got occasionally frustrated and do all sort of things . But these teachers are long term teachers and have dd's best interests in mind. But for a new teacher, during summer holidays? In front of a parent? Sounds a bit wrong that he gets "human" so quickly having some odd student over summer

[Mistigri]

I don't think this is acceptable tbh. It's fair enough to get frustrated but to say that - especially in front of a parent! - is a bit gobsmacking.

OTOH, "specific learning style" is a bit of a cop out (and I have a child who had attention difficulties).

I think you need to consider whether the lesson is too long, the content inappropriate, and whether your DD really wants to do this lesson. And I think a child above the age of 7/8 should be left alone with music teachers - the presence of a parent is unnecessary and probably affects student-teacher interactions. Some children play up more if a parent is present (mine certainly did!) especially if they think the parent may excuse or otherwise condone the behaviour.

[Noteventhebestdrummer]

This is a 1 to 1 music lesson?
It does sound like a very mean thing to say.

[Worriedandlost]

As far as I am concerned the lessons were ok as were the teaching methods, Mistigri. But then dd has three years of a boring musical training, so it is not really a question of fairness of this comment but appropriateness.

All dd's teachers welcome and some require that parent attends the lesson btw. But she is not above age of 7/8 anyway :)

Noteventhebestdrummer, one to one lesson, yes.

[Mistigri]

If she is very young then it may be that the approach isn't age-appropriate, or the lesson too long for her attention span?

With my dd, even when she was very young, having a parent present wasn't helpful. I always try to keep out of lessons as far as possible!

[Worriedandlost]

Mistigri, she has three years of music lessons in two instruments! And the same problems. The only difference was that the teacher was new, the subject was new and the lesson was more relaxed as it was not classical training.

[Mistigri]

Maybe not enough structure to the lesson then? My daughter always did better with a structure and a teacher who was prepared to fix limits (not just in music!)

I think there are some kids - like my daughter at that age - who will take the mickey if they sense the slightest weakness. It may be that this teacher doesn't have great experience with younger children who have trouble remaining on-task, although that doesn't excuse what he said.