Auditions - how to deal with not being picked?

[shebird]

My DD is going to audition for a dance part in a show. She has been dancing for years and really enjoys it but I am worried about how to deal with a negative outcome? I don't want her to think she is rubbish or get despondent.

[lilolilmanchester]

How old is she?

[shebird]

She is 10

[DioneTheDiabolist]

I think that you should discuss this before the audition. The key is to be realistic from the outset so that your DD doesn't equate not being picked with rejection.

Good luck with the audition.

[shebird]

Thanks - I am trying to prepare her for the possibility as there are only a few places and lots auditioned. As she has always done well in exams I am worried if she does not get through she will see this as a failure.

[Moominmammacat]

Sometimes you get picked, sometimes you don't. It's what someone thought of you on the day ... same for music exams/schools/husbands and a million other things. I tell mine to think of things as possibilities ... it's only when you are chosen that you can decide if you want to do it. And that I think they're marvellous even if other people don't.

[LIZS]

If she wants to do this in future I'm afraid it is something she needs to get used to . Sometimes you suit the part and match the image the director has of the role , other times you don't. Emphasise that it is not personal, often decisions are superficial or based on preconceptions, and not getting one part doesn't mean she won't get another.

[morethanpotatoprints]

I think the first time for anything like this is a learning curve, and sometimes they surprise you by really not being very bothered at all. This is usually when you are worried for them, posting on parenting forums and trying to figure out how to prepare them if they don't pass, get in, become accepted, gain a place, win the competition etc.

FWIW I tend to play it down, tell her that the judges/panel whatever are looking for something specific. You/she might not know what it is and if it doesn't come off its more than likely not right for her and better off finding out now than once rehearsals have started. Instill in her that they are professionals and know what they are looking for and won't overlook the right candidate.
My mum always used to tell me "If its for you, it won't pass you by" Good luck to your dd.

[shebird]

Made me laugh morethanpotatoprints my mum says the same and it is very true!

[morethanpotatoprints]

Shebird

Ah, I can't stress enough how important a mum is in all this type of thing. Obviously not only for this.
I miss mine terribly but remember her support and her honesty, if I was rubbish she wouldn't dress it up, but also wouldn't put me down. My dad was just straight and honest and didn't suffer fools. Crap was called crap
I played music got loads of support from parents, met my dh whose a musician, he laughed at my dreadful playing and I gave up. He was cruel but kind. I concontrated on what I was good at instead.

OP you need to be honest with your dd at all times, she will thank you for it, I promise.

[Busybeingbusy]

OP you are obviously on the ball as you are thinking it through prior to the event. Already you are supporting her as best you can.

Sometimes we've had to wait several very long weeks to find out the result. Preparing for the outcome is hard when you know it can go either way so I try to walk the tightrope of indifference. I try and be as emotionless about it as possible and matter of fact ... saying stuff like that if it works in their favour that's great but if it doesn't there's lots of other really good things we can be doing or distract by suggesting other opportunities that are coming soon and might suit just as well...


Expect to hear the following if it's not an instant decision...

Day 1 : Mum, will you be happy if I get the part?;
Day 2: Mum, do you want me to get this part?
Day 3: Mum, do you think I will get this part?
Day 4: You don't want me to get this part, do you?
Day 5: Does dad want me to get this part?

Auditions are really good for them and it certainly helps them focus on working towards something they really want. The child in our home who has been auditioning regularly for the last three years (now 13) has a very mature and appropriate attitude towards school exams. [Knows that if you busk it then there's a good chance you won't get what you want. Knows too, that luck also plays a part.]