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At what point does it stop being 'Extra-curricular' & what does it become then?

(79 Posts)
KatyMac Thu 11-Jul-13 20:38:01

Is it vocational?

I mean DD hit that about 12 months ago; but I still don't really know what to call it. And I have those stupid conversations with people about how much she dances, & why she doesn't go to guides/youth club/parties/PE at school and yes actually she does intend to do it for a living

How do you describe your DC's activity?

ALthough today I was asked if it was fair letting her compete in Sports Day (at Dance) as she was practically some people understand wink

Picturesinthefirelight Fri 12-Jul-13 19:41:50

Lots only go at 16 Katy - it's just the pure classical dancers that really need other than want up go at 11.

A big thing for us is dd going to a school where she feels she will fit in. If it wasn't for the fact that she can commute in I don't think she would be going.

KatyMac Fri 12-Jul-13 20:37:22

She didn't get the once a month associate & we haven't heard about the weekly one sad - It was last Sunday & I'm too much of a wuss to email & ask

I know, Pictures, but so many go at 18 too

InViennaWeWerePoetry Fri 12-Jul-13 20:58:38

Oh Katy, sorry to hear that sad Give them until Sunday and email on Monday if you still haven't heard anything then. On a more positive note, does she have anything else lined up for the summer/next year instead?

She'll be fine going at 16, she really will. If anything, she'll be with like-minded people who share her passion and dedication, she'll have a better support network than at school. Plus any college taking on 16 year olds will have a good pastoral care system in place.

KatyMac Fri 12-Jul-13 22:25:11

She is going to Watkins Summer School then most of Arts Ed MT - hopefully Bodyworks in the Autumn

My biggest worry is what if she doesn't get in or is my biggest worry what if she does?

KatyMac Fri 12-Jul-13 22:41:06

We are waiting to see if her associate scheme has funding to run in Sept

InViennaWeWerePoetry Fri 12-Jul-13 22:45:57

So she's got other things lined up then, she'll be OK. It's only natural to worry, as I think I've said before my mum was a nervous wreck for weeks when I got my first job and moved out at 18, I think it's the uncertain nature of performing arts that's the trouble. If I'm perfectly honest, she's probably part of the reason I'm in the middle of a degree I'll (hopefully) never need to use. If she gets in she'll go off to college, and have a great time, and then you'll be worrying about what if she doesn't get work- sorry to have to tell you that, it never endsgrin And if she doesn't get in, she reevaluates and she tries again. I didn't get a drama place the first time I tried, I did the second time. It worked out for the best in the end.

Picturesinthefirelight Fri 12-Jul-13 22:56:36

Dd really needs to work on her ballet technique over the summer. She was due to go to MIDAS but it might be cancelled which leaves us with a conundrum as everywhere else is either booked up or at the beginning of the holidays when she isn't free.

hellsbells99 Fri 12-Jul-13 23:19:15

My DDs friend (16) got offered Northen Ballet and The Hammond but was reject from Tring. 16 does seem to be a common age for getting a place.

KatyMac Sat 13-Jul-13 16:10:59

Oh no Pictures - how awful

I know InVienna, I'm dreading that too

I know 16 is the age to go but I'm not sure she is good enough

morethanpotatoprints Sat 13-Jul-13 17:07:55

I think it becomes a vocation when they decide they aren't going to do anything else with their life.
I don't think it is age related at all, as some people know at an early age what they want to do.
My dd is a musician, she is only 9 but its what she does and her day revolves around this.
It isn't extra curricular anymore it is curricular to her. On the other hand she dances several times a week and has done exams and shows but knows she doesn't want to do this for a career, its fun and she enjoys it as extra curricular a hobby which she will continue until it clashes with music commitments.

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 13-Jul-13 19:11:39

Instead of dd have you done your homework it's dd have you done your stretches.

KatyMac Sun 14-Jul-13 07:59:09

I'm at a different stage to you Pictures, I don't remind about anything

I guess it becomes vocational when you state the desire to do it as a career

KatyMac Sun 14-Jul-13 10:55:12

2/3 weeks ago the Northern Line was down

DD travelled from Norwich to London - took a different route & got to class on time

The teacher & all the other students were late - all live in London

Maybe it's about motivation - btw the same thing has happened today

KatyMac Sun 14-Jul-13 19:15:03

DD is considering not having a plan B

I'm not sure how I feel about it

morethanpotatoprints Sun 14-Jul-13 23:05:39


Your dd probably can't consider a plan B and all the best Artists, Entertainers, Dancers, Musicians I know, didn't have a plan B either.
She is driven and self motivating, don't worry and let her go her way.
A plan B is a cop out, for somebody who isn't serious enough.
There is no question at all for her, she knows what she is going to do.
I say good luck to her. grin

KatyMac Mon 15-Jul-13 08:49:36

Maybe - I'm not sure I can convince the school of that

I am such a wuss

RussiansOnTheSpree Mon 15-Jul-13 09:57:47

I know plenty of great musicians and performing arts people (some of them pretty damn famous) who have had a succession of plan Bs from their schooldays through to their professional life. Plan B doesn't have to involve not doing what you need to do, it involves different routes to where you want to be. Only an idiot doesn't have a plan B. Plan B doesn't have to involve a different profession. Katy - your DD should absolutely have several Plan Bs for different outcomes of auditions etc. even if she gets offered a place at every school she auditions for, she should still be thinking in terms of funding options, mainly circumstances etc.

cory Mon 15-Jul-13 10:07:58

My dd is aiming at drama, so slightly different, but she also has a successions of Plan B's for various stages of her life, including what-if-I-don't-get-into-stage-school (take a year out and volunteer at theatre projects and do as many workshops as possible, then re-audition) and what-if-I-don't-make-it-to-professional-actress (she has decided she would rather work with anything theatrical, e.g. drama teacher/youth theatre than nothing).

My db otoh who started training as a violinist had no Plan B, nothing beyond his dreams of becoming a soloist. After a year at the conservatoire he was told that his fingers were too stiff to make a soloist career likely and that the best he could hope for was a place in an orchestra. He didn't touch a violin again for 15 years; he was totally traumatised.

He did have a good career in a non-music related field and has done fine in life, but music was ruined for him for a long, long time and his personality really changed.

RussiansOnTheSpree Mon 15-Jul-13 10:31:37

Cory The actors that I know have often had to adopt plans B and C. And in some cases, they suddenly realised plan B or C was actually the way to go even when plan A hadn't fallen through. grin This is partly because sometimes opportunity comes knocking and you can't predict when or what form it will take. And also, sadly, because sometimes shit happens, and it's external and completely out of your control.

KatyMac Mon 15-Jul-13 10:54:49

Oh she has plan Bs for when she has finished college, when she doesn't get a job, when she is too old to dance any more; it's just Sept 14 that she doesn't have a plan B for

But life can hit at any time, like for my brother - gap year, sailing to Caribbean, then to Australia for 9 months windsurfing teaching; diagnosed with cancer 4 weeks before going sad - he is fine now btw

DowntonTrout Mon 15-Jul-13 11:03:55

Pictures can I ask where you DD will be going? Obviously you might not want to say on here, but maybe a clue? I'm wondering if it might be where DD is- I think you've said before that your DH teaches at one of them?

When DD auditioned last summer it wasn't really a plan A or plan B thing. In fact it felt so alien, so far fetched, and we didn't have a clue how to make it work that we had a huge panic when she got the place.

It wasn't that we didn't have a plan B, but nothing we looked at seemed right, I just knew that she felt "out of place" and we didn't know what to do for the best. She attended a holiday school and came out after the first day and said " I want to go to that school." I understand how you feel Katy. I think if DD hadn't got a place then we would have waited til 16 or til the point where she wasn't happy, which might only have been a year or two, who knows.

What I have noticed is that at this school, which takes from Y5, there is quite a bit of transience. Some start and hate it, some can't cope with the work load. Some only intend doing a year or two. Some find out its not for them or the school decides the child isn't right for the school. It's quite a harsh environment and I am surprised how many drop by the wayside. All I care about is DD happy? And at the moment she is.

Picturesinthefirelight Mon 15-Jul-13 16:35:40

Ill PM you.

Fitting in was a big factor for us. We had actually accepted a place at an academically selective school but dd just felt at odds with everyone. She loved the academic side & the breadth of study eg philosophy but she just had a different mindset to everyone else. She went to a taster day & felt she fitted in.

KatyMac Tue 16-Jul-13 18:42:32

Just had an amazing meeting at school; they started off with them being a bit hmm about the whole thing
After I'd discussed the whole situation:
They were awestruck at DD & the amount she does (& a little concerned)
They are worried about her GCSEs (finally) & agree she is doing too many
They are worried about her auditions & the amount of time off school she will need
They understand my need to be in regular contact with the school & DD's teachers
They agree (tentatively) with my audition strategy
But they don't have any solutions - they have to think about it

morethanpotatoprints Tue 16-Jul-13 20:01:24


You are lucky they are thinking about it. There are a few parents on here who have been told the head will no longer agree to time off school for auditions and concerts, shows etc. Those auditioning for panto have been told to forget it, in some instances. Some are turning to H.ed as we did last year. If they are considering it, that's grat. grin

morethanpotatoprints Tue 16-Jul-13 20:01:59

Great not grat

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