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Dd stopped from being in end of school show due to hsving to leave rehearsals slightly early

(45 Posts)
Ledkr Tue 30-Apr-13 08:00:19

Hi all I posted before about dd and her end of school show.
She has a very small part no lines on stage in the first scene then no more.
Dd does dancing which she loves and is good at. Her classes are on Tuesday and Wednesday.
The school show is a big occasion and the main marker for the leavers. They anticipate it all yr and look forward to it.
The school pride themselves on all the chikdren being involved.
So the rehearsals have been set for tues and wed 3-5
I asked if I could collect her fifteen mins early so she could go to dancing as she has exams and a big show coming up.
The school have been totally unmoving and said if she can't do the entire two hrs she can't be in the show shock
I am leaving work early to pick her up and race her across to her class while she eats. She is always late.
This is for the one rehearsal she has done so far during which she sat down and watched other people rehearse.
I pay a lot for her lessons but it is entirely her choice not to want to miss dancing.
The show will run for a whole week they all get a t shirt and its very much the "leavers celebration"
I think the school are being petty and cruel in excluding her from the show for the sake of fifteen minutes.
I can't imagine for such a small part fifteenths will make this much difference

ZZZenagain Tue 30-Apr-13 08:02:08

I agree with you. Odd.

sweetiepie1979 Tue 30-Apr-13 08:04:15

So speak to the school, there might be more to it than you realise. If not then tes they are been unreasonable. Ask if they have a rehearsal schedule and can you see it they should have one. Then if they are not using your daughter she shouldn't be at rehearsal you realise toward performance all cast should be there but mat this rehearsal time if she's. It been used she shouldn't be there. Speak to head of drama/headmaster etc good luck

LIZS Tue 30-Apr-13 08:05:25

Agree with you. Would they notice if she wasn't there ?

freddiemisagreatshag Tue 30-Apr-13 08:07:59

I posted on your last thread. As you may remember, we disagreed grin. However, in this case I think the school are being petty and using the play to make a point.

Caitycat Tue 30-Apr-13 08:08:18

Totally ridiculous, I can see why they might have had problems with her in a main part but definitely not the way you've described it. Could you write to the head copied to chair of governors pointing out that if the main leavers event is after school then there needs to be some accommodation for pre-existing commitments?

LIZS Tue 30-Apr-13 08:10:59

and if they are immoveable it is an early , if harsh, lesson for your dd to learn in making choices and commitment. What would she prefer to do ? You can't do everything and what will happen when she ahs a longer school day at her next school.

freddiemisagreatshag Tue 30-Apr-13 08:13:33

But yes, ultimately, if they don't move on it, I agree with LIZS it'll be a hard lesson for your DD in choices and consequences.

NorthernLurker Tue 30-Apr-13 08:21:43

15 minutes from every rehearsal is quite a lot of time and will disrupt the whole group as you appear and dd gets her stuff and leaves. Rehearsals need to be carefully structured and if people dip in and out it's impossible. Plenty of your dd's classmates will also have after school commitments. What if they all want to leave 15 minutes early? You'll quickly end up with less actual rehearsal time. The school are making a statement about the commitment needed. If your dd isn't committed she can't be in the show.

Ledkr Tue 30-Apr-13 08:35:30

Pretty much what you've said northern is what the head has said so I guess I've got no case but I think they fail to see how difficult it is for dd to simply not go to dancing (dance teachers are quite scary) from my point of view it's like just chucking a hundred quid out of the window.
She dances in a group competition so would be letting the other kids down there too.
As the show is such a big event I think the school could reach a small compromise.
It will mean that her last few weeks if school will be simply sitting around while the other 90 kids prepare for and put on a show.
Seems a bit inflexible to me.

KirstyJC Tue 30-Apr-13 08:42:33

I think they are being really harsh - this isn't something in school time, it is after school has finished. Not every child will be able to stay on at school for an additional 2 hours twice a week and it seems completely over the top to punish her for not being able to stay after school.

Have you spoken to the school governors? Is this a school policy ie has it ever happened before, either that a child missed the play because they couldn't rehearse, or that they were allowed to be in it despite not rehearsing? If a precedent has been set it might be harder to change or challenge it.

Seems like they are punishing her for having to do something after school. I wonder if people would accept having to stay on at work, for free, for 2 hours twice a week in order to do something which work wanted them to do? I know I wouldn't.

freddiemisagreatshag Tue 30-Apr-13 08:43:38

Does the school do this EVERY year? As in, you knew last year/in Sept/whenever that there would be a school production and that it would involve 2 days after school?

Ledkr Tue 30-Apr-13 09:00:53

If she couldn't rehearse at all then I could understand it. But fifteen minutes. She's been in loads of shows so she has experience too.
I really can't be bothered to argue. I might take her away that week for a little holiday. grin

freddiemisagreatshag Tue 30-Apr-13 09:03:36

But Ledkr, she hasn't been in that show.

Ledkr Tue 30-Apr-13 09:03:54

Yes freddy I did know they did it but wasn't aware that it would be twice a week after school and both days on the only days she dances.
What difference it would make tho I don't know.
She can't dip in and out of dancing at the level she's at as its not fair on the other kids.

freddiemisagreatshag Tue 30-Apr-13 09:07:51

If it's not fair for dancing, it's not really fair for the school show either though is it? I can see the school's point, I think they're making a petty example of your DD but I can see their point.

Especially if you come across with the attitude that she's been in loads of shows so she knows what she's doing. That would probably get up their nose a bit tbh

Startail Tue 30-Apr-13 09:14:09

Is this a private school?

I cannot imagine our state school expecting 100% attendance 3-5pm, Everyone does things.

Maryz Tue 30-Apr-13 09:16:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Tue 30-Apr-13 09:17:31

Is there a compromise eg a non speaking part, helping with the lighting so she'd only need to be at the later rehearsals etc?

seeker Tue 30-Apr-13 09:21:10

Presumably it's only for a couple of weeks? I would take her to dancing 15 minutes late.


freddiemisagreatshag Tue 30-Apr-13 09:21:57

I think, without wanting to bring another thread into it, that the head is making a point.

Picturesinthefirelight Tue 30-Apr-13 09:23:11

I agree the school are bring OTT

DD is currently rehearsing for her leavers show but rehearsals are all in school time. 15 mins atvthevend if a 2 hour rehearsal us nothing fir a choir/chorus part (I've run enough shows to know its possible.)

For what it's worth my dd would choos her regular dancing too. Apart from the actual show night she won't be missing any classes for school events and has missed school concerts in the past because she had to dance instead

It's incredibly petty.

Picturesinthefirelight Tue 30-Apr-13 09:24:47

If the OP s dd is preparing for exams then the 1st 15 mins are important even if its just warm ups as they have to perform the warm ups in the exam

Also my dd is expected to do most of her warm ups now before class starts.

DeWe Tue 30-Apr-13 10:27:17

Personally I think the school is being silly, and a bit mean. And if it's a leavers thing then most of the rehearsals should be in school time. With dd1's leavers' play they waited until after SATS and then spent a fortnight solidly rehearsing in school time. The only out of school time was the sctual performances.

However I have in the past been annoyed when one of my dc has been in the position where they've been told "if they can't attend all of XXX" they can't do it." and I've sorted out them or other children to be late/not go to a usual commitment, or someone else to take their sibling-to find that at the actual thing A only came for half, B will always leave 20 minuted early and C says his mum says he can only come on Thurdays... if you see what I mean.
Me having asked politely if it's possible to leave early and been told no, but others with pushier parents just tell rather than ask, and get away with it.

So if they have told the children they must be at all and every rehearsal, I have a certain respect for them holding them to it.

Katnisscupcake Tue 30-Apr-13 10:27:26

I agree that the school are definitely being OTT. But it sounds like they're not going to budge.

Ask your DD what she would prefer to do (and hope she chooses the dancing otherwise financially it'll be a nightmare if she chooses the school show) and make sure she understands the consequences of each option.

Dancing is a long-term commitment and something that won't finish when her time at her current school does. So absolutely she won't want to be letting down the other dancers.

It sounds like she isn't a crucial part of the show at school, if I was her I would opt for the dancing. Also agree that it's bizarre to expect 100% attendence for 2 days a week after school from 3-5pm because there must be others who do pre-paid after school activities.

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