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School being really horrible about dds dancing

(88 Posts)
Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 14:38:45

My dd is 11 and goes to dancing twice a week.
Tuesday and Wednesday. Tuesdays are really hard as she goes to guides straight after do not home until 8.45.
I'm not pushy and she loves what she does. Dies the odd festival in groups and takes her exams.
The school know this as she gets lots of homework and I've had to tell then Tuesdays are difficult.
So this term they are rehearsing for the y6 play.
Dd has a small non speaking part (chorus really)
They scheduled the rehearsal for Tuesdays 3-5 so I e mailed to say I will have to get her at 4.30. It seems this has really annoyed them.
I had a call saying I had to prioritise the school and I said as I pay a lot for dance she needs to attend class.
I feel I'm compromising by leaving her there until 4.30 then rushing her to dancing while she eats in the car.
The teacher has made a couple if remarks to dd about her not going for the full time which has upset her.
So today we get another e mail to say there are now two rehearsal days the other is a Wednesday hmm so she will need to be picked up even earlier which will go down like a lead balloon.
I feel as if they think her dancing is trivial and should always take second place. I wonder if they would feel the same if she was playing for a sports team or having a piano lesson?
Anyone have any experience if this?
I've had to e mail again to say Wednesday is no good either. I feel like a right pain in the arse.

Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 20:14:27

Freddie just out if interest how would you have managed thectuesdsy then?
Her grade classes can only be taken on that day/time guides is only on that day.
If she misses her dance class she will fall behind and be unable to take her exam so her friends would all move up without her.
I pay a lot for the lessons and you have to give screens notice so I would be literally throwing money into the wind.
She did all her homework it's just that she physically couldn't keep to the timetable and do any on a Tuesday so made it up on the other nights.
I rely can't see the problem there.

Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 20:15:03

Sorry a terms notice I meant to say

morethanpotatoprints Thu 11-Apr-13 20:15:59


I think you are probably a minority as many dc that do extra curricular activities outside school can get really good and this takes priority.

If my dd had been academic at all, or top of the class, it may have been different. But some of these kids decide their extra curricular activities are what they want to do with their lives, so they become their curricular activities, my dd is one of these.

Strictly1 Thu 11-Apr-13 20:17:23

As a year six teacher I think they are being unreasonable, and I wouldn't think anymore of it!

Picturesinthefirelight Thu 11-Apr-13 20:18:35

It's Tuesdats that we don't do homework too! Dd dances from 4.15pm - 7.15pm each Tuesday.

Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 20:21:02

She was already doing guides when she moved up a grade in dance so the day changed. It will eventually change again so I thought it wasn't worth stopping guides.
Also normally she would have dancing 5.15-6,45 then guides 7-8.30 so not particularly excessive but school put on extra maths 3-4.30 then the play rehearsals hence the problem arises.

3littlefrogs Thu 11-Apr-13 20:21:29

When it comes to university application extracurricular stuff is very important. The people who play an instrument, are good at a sport or other activity, will always have the edge on the people who do nothing outside their school work.

According to DD's head teacher anyway.

As for rehearsing for 2 hours after school at a primary school - ridiculous.

Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 20:23:43

morethan that's like my ds. They work in the hobbies they did as chikdren. I did too and dd would like to.
It's not their fault those things aren't covered in the curriculum so they have to do it after school.

cory Thu 11-Apr-13 20:25:00

Freddie, your assumption seems to be that anything that is organised by the school is "work" and relevant for your future, and that nothing that is done outside school can be regarded as a work commitment or be of value for your future career.

In the case of gifted musicians/dancers/gymnasts, this is not going to be true. There is simply no way most schools can provide teaching on the level they require and learning has to be done when you're young.

As a parent of such a child, you need to balance their need for the kind of tuition that caters for their special gift and the need to keep up with the schoolwork in order to have qualifications to fall back on if they want to go into something different when they are older.

Even as an academic, I would have been seriously disadvantaged if I had not put as much effort into out of school learning as I did into my homework; merely following the curriculum would not have provided me with the skills I needed.

freddiemisagreatshag Thu 11-Apr-13 20:32:43

Absolutely not the case that I don't believe in extra curricular activities nor. I am happy to pm details off the thread but am not going to put them on the thread as they would out me.

I would have said no guides. Guides or dancing, you choose, but school cannot suffer for an extra curricular.

Picturesinthefirelight Thu 11-Apr-13 20:33:08

How about giving up the extra maths

freddiemisagreatshag Thu 11-Apr-13 20:33:24

Sorry - nor that anything school related is work and relevant for your future.

(Computer ate half a sentence)

mummytime Thu 11-Apr-13 20:40:25

namechangesrme - my DD is at a very high achieving academically secondary school, with a strict homework policy. However they sent a note to all her teachers to be "understanding" about homework before Christmas, and have repeated to me "just to let them know" if she is finding it stressful; as she is a Cathedral Chorister. Especially at Christmas this tends to mean she has a lot of services, concerts and rehearsals; the school are very understanding about the homework that doesn't get done or gets done late.

Secondary school is harder and needs you to decided on the individuals priorities, but for some students it is not always the homework that comes first.

Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 20:42:07

What are you on about?
Stuff like dance,gymnastics, skating need to be learned and developed over a period of time and are not taught in schools to a necessarily suitable standard.
All these examples amongst others can be used in a future career choice and thus are work.

freddiemisagreatshag Thu 11-Apr-13 20:42:17

Well I shall bow out. I obviously am out of step with the majority.

Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 20:43:50

IT DIDN'T SUFFER she just couldn't do homework on a Tuesday she did extra on other days. Which bit dint you get?

freddiemisagreatshag Thu 11-Apr-13 20:44:20

Yes Ledkr, I know. I've been there. I am there at the present. But it cannot and should not ever mean that homework and any other academic work is not completed to an appropriately high standard. In my opinion. I have never nor would never expect that my child be given a night off homework to attend an extra-curricular activity.

But, as I said, I am out of step with the majority on this thread, so I shall gracefully bow out.

Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 20:44:21

Reality !!

freddiemisagreatshag Thu 11-Apr-13 20:45:44

But everyone else has to do the homework on the right day. She didn't. So the activity is coming before academic work. Which I wouldn't have allowed.

But, as I have said, as I am in the minority, I am going to bow out.

(Just didn't want you to think I was being rude and not replying)

Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 20:46:28

FFS she didn't miss anything just spread it over the other six days m. Jeeeeeze <pokes out own eyeballs>

freddiemisagreatshag Thu 11-Apr-13 20:47:26

Either we are x-posting or I am not expressing myself clearly.

*freddiemisagreatshag Thu 11-Apr-13 20:45:44
But everyone else has to do the homework on the right day. She didn't. So the activity is coming before academic work. Which I wouldn't have allowed.*

Ponders Thu 11-Apr-13 20:52:05

I seem to be too often coming on threads like this to say (helpfully, I hope wink) that my 4 kids got no primary school homework to speak of (2 pre NC, 2 post NC) & they all did various extra curricular actitivies (though none were as serious or committed as your DCs, OP)

they all went to a selective grammar (without cramming) & have all gone to RG universities

the youngest (who was in Y6 2003-4) was the only one who had to endure endless SATs practise from Easter till the tests

I just don't get this obsession now in so many primary schools (& with so many parents) that school/SATs matter more than anything else in the world hmm. My 2 pre-NC kids had such a much nicer time at school than the other 2; their teachers had time for hobbies & fun, & weren't ground down with filling forms & meeting targets sad

anyway, OP, do stick to your guns about letting DD enjoy what matters most to her, not them!

morethanpotatoprints Thu 11-Apr-13 20:58:04


I don't think my dd will be doing secondary school, it must be hard fitting everything in.
She is only junior now but already we are noticing how much easier it is and how much more we can do. It's not for everyone though but certainly helps the performance subjects.

Can anybody explain why homework is important, because I really don't see it. I am a qualified teacher too and really don't see any purpose and how it relates to learning at all.

RaspberryLemonPavlova Thu 11-Apr-13 21:12:38

Its same night homework that is always the problem isn't it? We\too have busy nights with both primary and secondary DC.

Secondary actually have a policy that homework is not to be given out one day to be handed in the next. I htinkthis helps my DC manage their time. They know Thursday nights are impossible nights so they fit in homework and music practice other nights.

If they do get given overnight homework I write in their planners to explain why they can't get it done in the time.

DS2, in Y5, is a Cathedral Chorister and so far school has been very supportive of this, allowing him time off school for some events and being understanding with homework - although we have yet to get through Year 6.

plinkyplinkyplink Thu 11-Apr-13 21:15:06

I'm a piano teacher, and I'd expect school to take priority over the children's lessons. It often does, in fact.

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