how do you manage the taxi driving/practising?(12 Posts)
Am starting to think I need to drop my hours at work (even more, which would mean effectively changing from a 'career' to a 'job' as would be removing myself from promotion opportunities etc) to cope with all the ferrying to and fro and then the practising for my sporty/musical DCs. The older they get, the more practise on their instruments and/or training sessions they are asked to attend, I want them to do the best they can, and be the best they can be, but seriously - there aren't enough hours in the day! Just wondering how everyone else copes. DH's job means that he isn't able to do any of the ferrying during the week although he obviously helps massively at weekends.
It's hard work! I work 2 days a week & dh isn't able to do much of the ferrying about either as he works long work hours.
Dd1 does 1 hr of violin practise each evening. Ds1 does around 15 minutes practise each day - both of which are fully supervised by me while dd2 charges about the house wanting my attention!
Two nights a week dd1 goes running & one night she has brownies. Every saturday the whole family attends music lessons including individual, group, orchestra & kodaly - this takes up half of the day!
I am sure I couldnt work more days & fit in the same quality practise, homework etc. When the dcs get home from school they are free to do as they like until dinner at 5pm. Then it's time for practise & homework.
I know how you feel and you may have to make some choices.
Lift shares is always a bonus- for me, if someone could bring home one of the DCs while I took a other somewhere else that was a help. It's hard to be inn2 places at once.
But to be totally honest - if I had not been self employed my DDs could not have kept up with their competitive dance schedules - I just could not have got them to all of there training sessions.
Lift sharing is the only way we can manage to get DD to and from 8 sessions of swim training per week- actually the 5am starts are better than the 9pm finishes as at least it gets it over with for the day and before work/ school . She does get the bus to training two days per week (2 buses across town taking an hour) now that she is 13.
In terms of music practice, I stopped supervising after aged 12 on the basis that they have to take responsibility for her own progress at this age.
is it possible for your dc to get to their lessons, training sessions on their own and for you to just pick them up afterwards?
If they are too young, these activities are difficult to get too or you are worried about them travelling in the dark, could you pay a babysitter to do it? At some stage, they are old enough to do a lot of this without you.
If you have 3 children and one has to be taken to sport and brought back so the younger ones need to accompany you, of course the younger ones cannot be using that time for practising instruments etc. I can see that must be quite a nightmare to try and juggle.
It was a nightmare for me even with 1 DS doing choir, orchestra , 2 instruments and theory lessons.We tried to fit in tennis and swimming at some point as well all with me working FT. He ended up going to prep school and JD on Saturdays, had to give up the choir which he bitterly regreted.The school provides him with parctice time and most tuition is happening in JD.Suddenly I am a lady of leisure if you dont count Saturdays taken up. I can stay at work as long as I want to Much harder with 3 though.
No, they can't get anywhere on their own (all under 10)...and everything seems to happen before 6 o clock too, so I can't see how it would be possible unless you are a SAHM, or exceedingly lucky to have a job where you finish at five and can then commute home really really quickly in order to pick up from CMs and transport to clubs. Argh. They're not be able to go to anything on days that I work because I'd not get home in time, but dropping down to working 2 days a week would at least give us 3 weekdays for activities plus the weekend. Tough decisions to make- as much as I don't want to give up a career that I've worked bloody hard for, being the kind of mum I want to be has to take priority over having the kind of career that I want. Feel weird slipping back to such a 'traditional' family model, but it does seem to work better with one partner doing the majority of the home stuff! Had a mum who was very against after school activities etc as she couldn't be arsed to take us, so that colours my views somewhat I think...!
Prep school/private school not an option for us sadly, even if I worked FT we couldn't afford it.
I am lucky that i have a flexible employers who accommodates all my needs in terms of child care and timetable. But even so, it means that I work 4 hours less per week that my colleague in the same role, which means that the team dynamic is challenging!
I am not that career-bent, and see my job as a job, while it is a professional role, there are NO progression opportunities where I work. Perhaps when my kids are grown up, I might aspire to more.... Until then, I am trying to enjoy seeing them learn and develop.
Good luck with what is, necessarily, a compromise.
Dont know if you can manage with 3 but when my DS was younger we found that the bes tmusic practice time is before school. It does mean getting up a bit earlier and absolutely banning them from switching TV /computer on in the morning (like a lot of them do) but once the routine is established, it is very productive - I think 20-30 mins in the morning is better then an hout after school/CM when they're tired.
You do need to have understanding neighbours though or a sound-proof room
DD is starting to go by herself in the evening (has been coming & going by herself for a year or 2 now) but this evening class was cancelled leaving her abandoned in Norwich by herself; I wasn't impressed tbh
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