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Competitive sports

(5 Posts)
CeliaFate Sun 25-Sep-11 17:04:54

Ds plays football and rugby outside school. He's not brilliant at them, but he turns up, tries hard and does his best to listen to the coaches.
Other team mates who are very good are super confident to the point of rude cockiness. They've started complaining to ds that he isn't fast enough or good enough. He's begun to feel left out and disheartened, saying he's rubbish and nobody passes to him because he's no good.
The coaches are good at praising him and we constantly tell him it's the taking part that counts, and that his contribution is valued but it doesn't seem enough. Dh practises with him so he can improve, but I'm so hurt that his confidence is taking a knocking.
WWYD?

Jesusgirl Sun 25-Sep-11 22:41:08

I feel for you and especially your ds. I think if he wants to stop, let him and find something else he is really good at.

My ds joined the football club at some point because all his friends were in it. But he quickly discovered he wasn't really good at it. We tried encouraging him to carry on, that trying his best is what matters but he was quickly loosing confidence. I finally told him I'd support him whichever option he chose and he said he wanted to quit.

He picked up musical instruments - violin and piano and is doing really well with them, so he's not really bothered as he's good at some other things.

If it's really denting his self esteem, it might be a good idea to let him stop at least for the time being, he can keep playing with hid dad and in a few years, he could try again. In the mean time, help him explore other interests and find something he's really good at.

mercibucket Sun 25-Sep-11 22:54:06

If it's competitive, leagues etc, can he move to a lower league or just do non competitive training? Or an individual sport like cycling or swimming?

mercibucket Sun 25-Sep-11 22:54:06

If it's competitive, leagues etc, can he move to a lower league or just do non competitive training? Or an individual sport like cycling or swimming?

basildonbond Thu 29-Sep-11 20:00:52

I'd try to get him interested in some other sports - if he's been playing for a while his basic level of fitness should be ok which will help him with pretty much anything else, so it won't have been a waste of time and effort for him.

There's lots of other things he can try - I'd agree with cycling although for swimming you need to start young - if he's older than about 9 or 10 he'd find it very hard to get started. Have you tried things like martial arts or rowing or table tennis or volleyball or fencing - lots of options. Your local council should be able to point you in the right direction for sports coaching for different sports

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