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Debating the 'how much is too much' activity thing again

(25 Posts)
KatyMac Wed 31-Aug-11 22:23:34

Last year DD did

Mon 5:45-6:45 (termtime)
Tues 5:30-6:30 then 7:00-8:30 (termtime)
Wed 4:30-5:15
Thurs 7:30-8:30
Fri 8:00-11:00 about once a month
Sat 10:00-11:00
Sun All day about once every 2 months or so

This term

Mon 7:15-8:15 (termtime)
Tues 5:00-6:00 then 6:30-8:30 (termtime)
Wed 5:00-6:00 then 6:00-7:15 (termtime)
Thurs 7:30-8:30
Fri 5:15-6:00 (fortnightly) then 8:00-11:00 The other week
Sat 10:00-11:00
Sun All day every week

It seems like a big jump for her; but I am wavering, I suppose she can give up if it's too much.

Written down it look way too much; what do I cancel?

curlyredhair Wed 31-Aug-11 22:32:03

How old is she? It does look quite a lot and doesn't leave a lot of time for you as a family. What are the activities, are there any she would like to drop? How much homework will she have?

AngryFeet Wed 31-Aug-11 22:37:40

That sounds exhausting! What activities are they?

KatyMac Wed 31-Aug-11 22:38:00

She is 13, last year she did all her homework at school during formtime; I brought it up with the school & they prefer it that way

She wants to do more rather than drop any; the Monday night is a possible loss, she is giving up Guides (sad) already to continue with her dancing

KatyMac Wed 31-Aug-11 22:40:21

Mon Ballet
Tues Arts Award then Dance Company
Wed Glee then theatre
Thurs Drumming
Fri Private Ballroom/Latin then practise
Sat Ballroom/Latin Class
Sun Dance Company

She is auditioning for the Dance company soon so I need to decide if she will be able to do it

KatyMac Wed 31-Aug-11 23:28:04

DH thinks she should; my mum thinks she shouldn't

I can't make up my mind

woolleybear Thu 01-Sep-11 10:01:44

How does she feel about it? I think if she can still keep up with school work and she is dedicated to that and all her hobbies then she will be fine.

I am debating whether my dd will be doing too much, she's almost 5 and just starting school though!

KatyMac Thu 01-Sep-11 10:14:46

She wants to do it, actually she wants to do more but I said no

Ben10WasTheSpawnNowWeLoveLego Thu 01-Sep-11 10:18:13

THat sounds like too much for me with GCSEs on the horizon. Whats more it must cost you an absolute fortune !

KatyMac Thu 01-Sep-11 10:20:19

Some does, some doesn't and some will be funded (well 90% of it)

But it is a fair cost; the problem is judging if you are indulging a whim or training a professional.

Ben10WasTheSpawnNowWeLoveLego Thu 01-Sep-11 10:22:35

Hard decision Katy. Do the teachers think that she could be a professional?

AMumInScotland Thu 01-Sep-11 10:32:18

For me the questions would be - Does she want to do it? Can she manage her school work, homework, revising? Does she still have some time for friends? Is she exhausted, or getting ill often? And of course Can you afford it?

It sounds like she is fairly focussed on the dance - if thats what she really loves, and hopes to maybe work in it, then she will have to put in a lot of hours.

Personally, I'd let her start, then see how the timings work out. I wouldn't let her school work suffer, but if she is determined enough to put the effort into both, then I'd support her in it.

DS spent a similar amount of time on music at that age, and he's now going to uni to do it and plans to make it his career - I don't think we should stop them from following what they love, though always with an eye to a decent set of GCSEs/A Levels in case it doesn't work out.

midnightexpress Thu 01-Sep-11 10:38:30

I agree with amuminscotland. I think you should let her try it and if she can cope, and keep up with the schoolwork then let her do it. Although it sounds very tough, I think if she's serious about it as a career, then she'll have to focus on it and put in the hours. I have friends whose DS was a competition swimmer and he was having to train at some ungodly hour before school every day, plus every weekend competing and many evenings too. He did really well but in the end wanted to stop to see what this teenage lark was all about.

What is the Dance Company? I was wondering whether there are any schools near you that focus on performing arts ie so that she could do some of this as part of her school hours? Fame Academy sort of thing?

KatyMac Thu 01-Sep-11 10:52:01

The teachers are saying she could make it; but if you had a child ho was evn marginally good you would say that I guess

Letting her try seems the best option, even if it's a bit scary

midnightexpress Thu 01-Sep-11 10:54:20

Better to have tried than to have regrets later of coulda woulda shoulda, I suppose.

KatyMac Thu 01-Sep-11 11:05:57

There is that

I would be the mum that failed her

ragged Thu 01-Sep-11 11:09:13

If she wants to do very well at dance long term that is the sort of time input she'll need to put in. DH has a close mate from high school who is now a prof. performer & choreographer (they are age mid 30s) and I'm sure that's what he had to do, too. If she seems to be coping well then I think she probably is, Katy.

AMumInScotland Thu 01-Sep-11 11:12:39

It's tricky, specially because if you're anything like me it comes as a surprise when your child seems to be pretty talented at something, and there's always a question of what to do for the best. But I think as long as it is the child who is pushing for it, you have to do what you can (within reason) to support that, while not letting them ignore schoolwork. We've always told DS that he has to put the work in and get a decent set of qualifications, because musicians can't always pay the bills by performing, and a decent set of grades makes it much easier to get a day job to support you for as long as it takes. But beyond that if he wanted to spend a lot of time (and quite a bit of our money) on his music, then we were behind him all the way.

There have been times when we've doubted it was going to work out, and I can't say I'm sure he'll ever make money out of it, but I would hate for him to turn round in the future and say "You know I really wanted to do that and you never supported me". This way it will hopefully always be "Well you encouraged me give it my best shot" even if it doesn't turn out how he wants.

KatyMac Thu 01-Sep-11 12:41:22

Do you know I'm not sure I've made a decision yet every time I think I have I see it from another angle then change my mind

lesstalkmoreaction Thu 01-Sep-11 12:55:09

She is 13 I would say the choice is hers if she can keep up with the school work and doesn't get too tired.
My dd is now 16 and has just finished her gcse's and is going to do A levels.
All her life she has done ballet, jazz, pointe work etc, she also loves hockey, it has taken up every monday, thursday and saturday for years plus hockey and anything else she has managed to fit in over the years.
She has also done a paper round. It has always been her choice as to what she does, I have never interfered, she has always kept on top of homework and gained decent grades in her exams.
I firmly beleive it has made her a very hardworking, organised, capable young adult but if It had become a battle to do school work at any stage then I would have asked her to drop one or two nights.
Watch the diet though as my dd gets a bit lazy about eating and has been taking spatone to keep up her iron levels.
Totally different if the child is age 6 and pushed between 10 activities a week and doesn't get a choice. At 13 they are capable of orgainsing their own lives with a bit of help from the taxi service called mum!!!

KatyMac Thu 01-Sep-11 19:46:08

I guess that's the way to do it then

She can have a go & if her school works suffers then it's all off a major rethink

confidence Fri 02-Sep-11 21:24:27

I really don't think this is difficult. The kid herself wants to do it, and it managing her schoolwork OK. What's the problem?

If she doesn't end up a professional dancer then at least she gave it her best shot. I wouldn't even see it as being about that - it's about her doing what she feels positive and creative about doing, now.

Just look at all those teenagers who haven't got the enthusiasm or drive to do anything but sit in front of a box all day, and thank your lucky stars.

spiderpig8 Sat 03-Sep-11 16:50:37

let her do it.You're a long time dead!

KatyMac Sat 03-Sep-11 17:42:43

I was talking to one of her teachers yesterday; she said absolutely go for it. DD is already capable of GCSE work and will probably 'pass' with little effort

Whereas the audition for the dance company will be a life enriching experience, whether she gets in or not

So I feel a little more confident about it all

KatyMac Sat 10-Sep-11 08:22:48

Gulp she got in

So we are now officially doing

Mon 7:15-8:15 (termtime) & 7:15-8:45 (termtime) alternate weeks
Tues 5:00-6:00 then 6:30-8:30 (termtime)
Wed 5:00-6:00 then 6:00-7:15 (termtime)
Thurs 7:30-8:30
Fri 5:15-6:00 (fortnightly) then 8:00-11:00 The other week
Sat 10:00-11:00 (all year) then 1:00-6:00 (termtime)
Sun All day about once every 2 months or so

Plus an average of 5.5 hrs dance a week in school


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