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Is it gauche to be friendly at exercise classes

(41 Posts)
LadyWithLapdog Sat 19-Aug-17 15:59:27

After a long gap I've started going again, various classes at various gyms. Why is everyone so unfriendly?! I don't expect a full welcome because I'm new but at least eye contact and smile back. Quite off putting sad

lljkk Sat 19-Aug-17 16:00:12

Everyone is miserable because they are at an exercise class? wink grin

dementedpixie Sat 19-Aug-17 16:00:54

I'm always nice to newbies at the classes I go to.

SummerKelly Sat 19-Aug-17 16:02:38

I think it varies from my experience, some are quite cliquey and there's no point speaking to people in the cliques, but other people are friendly. Other places no clique so it just depends on whether the individual you speak to is friendly or not. I can't say I've ever actually made a friend at one though in many years of going - not to gym classes anyway, maybe more with yoga outside gyms.

Abra1d Sat 19-Aug-17 16:03:30

This always amazes me, this unfriendliness: I try always to make eye contact/smile/say hello.

LadyWithLapdog Sat 19-Aug-17 16:03:40

It's intimidating enough not knowing the steps or equipment or who the instructor is.

LadyWithLapdog Sat 19-Aug-17 16:04:22

lljkk grin

dementedpixie Sat 19-Aug-17 16:05:27

I have made several friends from going to classes. The social aspect is what I like best about them compared to the gym

LadyWithLapdog Sat 19-Aug-17 16:05:59

I'll look out for some nice MNers smile

LittleWitch Sat 19-Aug-17 16:06:25

We are a very friendly bunch in our village and very welcoming to newcomers. We're so friendly that 12 of us are going on holiday together next year. Some people might find that too friendly grin. There's no way we'd give anyone the cold shoulder, but interestingly we have occasionally had newbies come along who were a bit competitive less friendly than they may have been. Horses for courses I imagine. Presumably some people want to come along, do the class and go again without particularly joining in, and that's ok too.

LadyWithLapdog Sat 19-Aug-17 16:16:30

I'm not competitive! A bit two left feet at the moment. I'm going to various classes because they fit around work and the school holidays rather than checking them out to find my level. It would be nice to meet people outside of them too but it's not going to happen.

ClockworkGoblin Sat 19-Aug-17 16:20:36

I think for me my whole point of going to exercise classes is stress relief. Sometimes I just want to be think about myself and thus talking/interacting with other people have never been my focus. It's nothing personal!

thecapitalsunited Sat 19-Aug-17 16:20:45

I talk to people at my exercise classes. And in the changing room. Sometimes it's newbies looking like they need a bit of encouragement that they're doing the right thing and sometimes there's only so many times you can nod at the same woman without asking how it's going!

runningyogabooze Sat 19-Aug-17 16:47:04

The classes I go to are v friendly - normally it's me keeping my head down as I like a bit of peace when I get time to myself!

Is the place you go to super cool or something like that? Imagine those types of gyms a bit more intimidating.

Abra1d Sat 19-Aug-17 17:01:52

You can usually tell when someone wants to chill in their own space and you just say hi and leave them to themselves.

LadyWithLapdog Sat 19-Aug-17 18:26:17

Ah, I don't go in the changing room, just in and out. I haven't managed at lunchtime yet but if I do then I'll have to get changed there.

One of the gyms is just one tiny studio and very new, a couple of months perhaps. So maybe no one actually knows anyone else either. The other one has been around for longer and the staff seem nice and cheerful. The other is the leisure centre so perhaps transitory attendees, people like me going as and when. Another one is a community hall, recently refurbished.

I see what you mean about getting into the 'zone'. I haven't been in ages and ages so I obviously don't take it too seriously.

I'll keep going as I want to eventually be able to commute to work by bike (only a couple of miles) and maybe even start running.

LadyWithLapdog Sat 19-Aug-17 18:27:48

And thanks all for replying star

MsMartini Sun 20-Aug-17 14:19:01

I agree, I notice some people at my gym who go into a world of their own - I think it is partly what they go for. Others are really friendly - I have just done a class where you pair up and egg each other on and it was exhausting good fun. I like the human contact so pick those sort of classes (bootcamp, grid, circuits, small classes where you often go round in pairs) - maybe you could try that?

Auspiciouspanda Sun 20-Aug-17 14:22:06

The gym is the only place I don't have to talk to anyone, it's the little bit of time I take per week for me to relax and focus on myself. I probably come off as unfriendly but what can you do.

MsMartini Sun 20-Aug-17 14:38:37

I don't think people who go into their own world are unfriendly; it just took me a little while to get used to the zone thing when I started.

OP, you are going to a lot of gyms - if once school holidays are over you can fix a more regular routine, you might find it easier to make not friends exactly, but people to have a chat with, if that is what you'd like? I really enjoy that side of my gym but completely understand it isn't what some people want. Lots of chat in the changing rooms and people recommend different classes - this has really helped me.

lljkk Sun 20-Aug-17 15:03:46

I must admit I'm pretty curt with people who try to chat with me at swimming. FFS, it's £5/session & we're time-limited. I don't go there to chat. I don't even like swimming much so I want to get it over with.

And then interval training (running, also time-limited)... if you have energy to chat then you aren't working hard enough. Fine, but I'm there to work hard & get on to rest of my dad soon afterwards.

Dina1234 Sun 20-Aug-17 15:15:12

I am always so annoyed to be exercising that I try to ignore others as much as possible,

thecapitalsunited Sun 20-Aug-17 18:10:01

Yes, I wouldn't chat to anyone in the middle of the workout but before or after.

LadyWithLapdog Mon 21-Aug-17 21:57:14

I don't talk during the class, just before or after. In fact I'd find it annoying to listen to someone during the class e.g. a teacher's pet tonight who always had something to add or comment on.

Ecclesiastes Mon 21-Aug-17 22:02:26

Sorry OP, I'm another one who goes to the gym to exercise, not to make friends. It's not personal.

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