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Safety while running

(29 Posts)
SoOverItNow Wed 02-Nov-16 21:06:37

Been running locally for a few years now with no problems, but recently I've had issues with a man following me in his car. I've reported this to SNT and they advised me to get a personal alarm. I have one on order now. The creepiest encounter was last week and it's put me off going out since, I'm feeling really angry and quite down about it.

Anything else you can suggest that would give me the confidence to get out there again? I don't want this creep to stop me enjoying my morning runs 😟

theclick Wed 02-Nov-16 21:09:40

Is it the same man each time?

SoOverItNow Wed 02-Nov-16 21:12:38

Yes it's the same one.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Wed 02-Nov-16 21:15:16

Can't you change the route. And the time slightly.

theclick Wed 02-Nov-16 21:16:04

I understand how scared you must be but don't let it put you off! However you shouldn't take unnecessary risks

One of my friends lives alone and messages her sister before she goes running every morning, and then when she gets back.

My feeling is that you should still take a photo of his number plate next time you are out but again, I wonder if you could work out at home until he moves on. How does he know you're out for a run each time?

SoOverItNow Wed 02-Nov-16 21:18:27

Not really the time as I only have the opportunity to go then with my young kids here.

Yes I was thinking to myself to change the route but I still have to go up my road which is where he is. I was thinking I could drive to another area maybe.

SoOverItNow Wed 02-Nov-16 21:20:32

I think he has seen me in a certain area on a certain day and time and is just there now. Maybe he likes scaring people. To stop him I need to change I guess.

MyNameIsInigoMontoya Wed 02-Nov-16 21:30:25

Go back to the police? If he is clearly following you and it's a regular thing, that sounds like it should qualify as harrassment or even stalking I would have thought (though not an expert).

Other things that come to mind - find someone who can come along with you a few times? Also maybe very obviously taking some photos of him/the car and numberplate (while in a safe place, or with a friend along) would warn him off?

Advising you to get an alarm sounds like a pretty feeble response to me, after all an alarm isn't much use until/unless he actually attacked you or something; but surely the aim should be to prevent anything happening in the first place, and to prevent you having to fear anything happening.

Veterinari Wed 02-Nov-16 21:33:42

Get his number plate and report him - it's stalking

BolivarAtasco Wed 02-Nov-16 21:47:40

OK, if he is actually following you, then you need to go straight back to the police and give his reg, description, the times, and tell them he is following you. I find it hard to believe the police would simply tell you to get a personal alarm if his behaviour is as potentially threatening as you initially suggest. If you have underplayed it to avoid getting him into trouble just in case, you need to not do that.

I'd probably try and run in another area for a few weeks if you can. Don't wear earphones, take someone else if you can. I always tell DH my running route and we have Find my IPhone so he knows where I am. He knows roughly how long my routes are too.

Yes, this shit sucks and it massively fucks me off that women have to deal with this just to exercise outdoors.

MrsMargoLeadbetter Wed 02-Nov-16 21:57:43

Sounds horrible OP.

If you have a car, could you drive a short drive away and then run? I know it seems counter intuitive.

Could you find a running buddy on a local FB group?

I'd maybe keep a note of the encounters.

Sorry I know you wanted positivity, just want you to stay safe.

GlitteryFluff Wed 02-Nov-16 21:57:48

Is he definitely following you?
Could he be waiting for someone to come out of their house ashes giving them a lift and it's just the same time you run? Or is it obvious he's there for you?
Definitely message someone before a run and when you're home again. Get number okay or photo of you can.
But tbh it's not worth the risk.
I'd workout at home or go a completely different time if possible.
Is it early in the morning so nobody else is around? Or a busy time?
Can you take up self defence classes for a few weeks then go back to running afterwards? That way you've learned something to possibly help you in the future and continued keeping fit?

MrsMargoLeadbetter Wed 02-Nov-16 21:58:52

Sorry, just saw you mentioned driving. I'd do that to get away from him.

GlitteryFluff Wed 02-Nov-16 21:59:00

If you drive then yes drive to somewhere to run or can you join a gym?

devilinmyshoes Thu 03-Nov-16 07:51:29

What use is an alarm? angry I run in v isolated areas, nobody would see or hear anything for miles. I thought this thread might be about visibility and bright clothing.

Are you a member of a running club? Even if you can't join their official sessions you might find people who can join you at times places and paces to suit. But definitely drive somewhere else and run there.

SoOverItNow Thu 03-Nov-16 23:05:32

Thanks for all the responses and suggestions.

Yes he is definitely following me. He is kerb crawling slowly past me, staring. Then stopping. Then repeating.

It's been happening for a month. Last week he stopped a bit in front of me, got out the car and opened the boot. I did a u turn and ran in opposite direction. Luckily it was near where I live.

Since then I have run in other places and at a different time of day.
I think I was in denial about it as I just wanted to keep running.

The police were quite alarming in what they said to me stuff like Do you think he was going to put you in the boot?

They scared me more than the creep did.

I have done self defence in the past. I actually feel like putting a brick through his window if I see him again. Obviously I won't though! I will take his reg no and use alarm if he approaches me. It's a residential area but I run early mornings.

I like running on my own. I like just getting my shoes on and going. I'm fucked off that this creep is stopping me.

RockyTop Sat 05-Nov-16 12:55:57

I don't think this is necessarily the answer to this problem, but worth mentioning. I use an app called Road ID. It sends a text message to DP (or whoever I nominate) when I start my run and when I finish. If I stop moving for (I think) 5minutes it sends him an alert, and he can also click a link to see where I am. I don't know that it makes me any safer in reality but we both find it reassuring, particularly as I have a medical condition which could potentially cause issues when running.

KittyandTeal Sat 05-Nov-16 13:07:15

Could you stop and very obviously take a photo of his car reg. Then try getting on the phone to the police 101 right away. I'd demand someone goes round and has a very stern word with him.

It makes me so angry that so,done feels they can do that and frighten you. You should be able to go out when you want, where you want without this even crossing your mind. angry so livid for you

IhatchedaSnorlax Sat 05-Nov-16 13:25:53

Take his photograph & that of his car in a very obvious way. Video if you can whilst running (get a go pro).

It's shocking to hear how the police responded. I'd go back again & tell them & make a formal complaint.

Failing that, can you plaster his face all over Facebook & describe what he's doing & call the creep out on it. If you're being factually correct, then I'd assume he couldn't sue you in any way.

SoOverItNow Mon 07-Nov-16 20:27:19

Thanks for the empathy kitty. I suggested to police I take a photo and they said "don't do anything that puts you in danger"

I think police are probably stretched and have other stuff to do hence the shit advice.

I'm not keen on FB naming and shaming. I have however been telling other runners in the area about him. Word is out.

Next time I see him I'm taking a photo, I have an alarm now too which I will use. Ive changed the times I run to daytime for a few weeks but I'm going back to early mornings as they suit me better. Actually hate this defensive and avoidance strategy. I feel like going on the attack. I feel really fucking 😡 about it all!

SoOverItNow Mon 07-Nov-16 20:29:19

Rocky that's a good app you have. I use runkeeper and Dh knows my route and times. He is usually waiting to leave as he goes straight to work when I get back!

Maxwellthecat Mon 07-Nov-16 20:33:02

I'm so upset for you So, running is the most liberating thing in the world and to have some creep stop you is horrendous.
I would take photos of his reg and tell the police again, I'd keep a log of when you see him and ring them whenever you do.
What a sad fuck for getting his jollies this way.
flowers for you.

MotherFuckingChainsaw Mon 07-Nov-16 20:48:51

Nothing helpful to add, but shit like this makes me so fucking ANGRY.

SoOverItNow Mon 07-Nov-16 21:24:17

Exactly Maxwell I love the freedom of running and that's probably what creeps like this don't like.

SoOverItNow Mon 07-Nov-16 21:25:01

Thanks for the flowers

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