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No confidence to use gym?

(28 Posts)
Katarzyna79 Mon 29-Aug-16 18:34:32


im supposed to join the gym around the corner its literally 1 road away but its mixed. thing is im not a confident person and after 10 years of being just a mother (so ive been told ), i have even lower self esteem.

I wear a full hijab so that's making it worse for me. i got myself a sport material hijab so i dont need to deal with pins and excess fabric, and its breathable. But i just feel like i look ugly compared to all the thin ppl who will be there. my husband said its empty until evening, hes been using it and the staff have told him the same.

I guess its more because i have to go alone, and paranoid who ever is there will stare because im wearing headgear that looks like a fencing headdress.

there is a womens gym a short walk away but this is much closer, and i only have 1 hr to work out before picking up the little one from nursery, so thght i should try it out first?

so any tips motivation i feel like crap. i never cared about my weight before,after all it was due to having babies. i feel like im going to be on stage and out there for scrutiny feel rubbish sad

Wolfiefan Mon 29-Aug-16 18:38:43

I'm overweight and I go to the gym (and do classes). The only time anyone has ever "noticed" me or made comments it has been to say how they have noticed my fitness improving or to say how hard I was working.
The thing is everyone there will have something they feel self conscious about.
On another note who on earth tells you that you are "just a mother"? Charming. shock

Katarzyna79 Mon 29-Aug-16 18:42:12

other mums in the school playground say it, they sort of smile and pat my back not literally but with their words

im pathetic i wont joing a gym class im afraid ill be told to go upfront because im not getting the moves right, that would kill me id do a runner. ive always had confidence issues lol

dementedpixie Mon 29-Aug-16 18:44:38

The instructors don't pick on people like that. I'm big -fat- and go to classes. It's great for meeting people and I go for the social side just as much as for the exercise

dementedpixie Mon 29-Aug-16 18:45:22

fat strike out fail!

Wolfiefan Mon 29-Aug-16 18:47:41

I found I feel more confident if I exercise. I feel stronger and better about myself. I will never be a size 8 or a marathon runner but I can get fitter than I was.
Either the other mums are all horrid or your lack of confidence means you are misinterpreting what they say/mean.
Oh and I often get the moves wrong. Ok. I get some wrong every lesson. And some bits I can't do because I'm not fit enough/have a bad back. If I get it wrong I just smile or laugh and carry on. No one cares. They're all too busy trying not to go wrong too. It's not a competition.

Queenbean Mon 29-Aug-16 18:49:10

A friend of mine is a fitness instructor and he says the people he enjoys seeing most at the gym are those at the start of their journey - nervous, unsure, bit out of shape. He said its so good to see them blossom in to someone with much more energy and confidence over time. He isn't interested in muscle heads.

Please consider this OP. Everyone has got their own securities and won't judge other people, they'll be too busy looking at their own reflection!

I would also start with a routine you'll know, otherwise all the machines will look way too scary. Definitely take an induction and then maybe start with the treadmill and bike, and if the gym does classes don't be afraid to use them.

Good luck!! flowers

SymbollocksInteractionism Mon 29-Aug-16 18:52:21

Honestly everyone is too busy absorbed in their own exercise/ routine to notice what you are wearing.
Well done for making the first steps, just take a deep breath and go for it. Definitely join in with a class and arrive a bit early to explain to the instructor that you are new to it and feeling a bit nervous, they will help you.
Once you start you won't look back and you'll feel better about yourself. You will also be a great role model to your DC by making exercise part of your life.
Good luck 🍀

Katarzyna79 Mon 29-Aug-16 20:25:27

thanks for all the support appreciate it, i still feel sick thinking about it, i know i have issues lol

Wolfiefan Mon 29-Aug-16 20:26:47

Think how amazing you would feel if you managed to overcome those issues? Is it anxiety?

Katarzyna79 Mon 29-Aug-16 20:40:05

i wish wolfie iave been like this since nursery i cna recall my first day at nursery thats when i first felt it, im now 36 i doubt it will go away maybe reduce but always be there? im pretty certain having read leaflets its social anxiety.

thegoodnameshadgone Mon 29-Aug-16 20:46:33

Read Jemma j. Amazing book for a bit of a good laugh and inspiration. It's a funny chick lit fiction but it makes me want to go the gym!!

Queenbean Mon 29-Aug-16 20:49:54

Do you mean Jemima J thegoodnames?

I love that book but it got absolutely slated for being sexist and misogynistic!

kawla Mon 29-Aug-16 20:54:10

Hi there,

I wear a headscarf and go to the gym and fitness classes. I definitely don't get any double stares and feel like any other person. Don't use the scarf as a barrier as It really is YOU who can choose whether it is or not.

Good luck and don't worry you'll feel better knowing there's nothing to worry about after a few days flowers

thegoodnameshadgone Mon 29-Aug-16 21:33:34

Queen bean I did. I don't care if it got slated. It's one of my favourites, I love that book

Queenbean Mon 29-Aug-16 21:38:20

You've just made me redownload it on to my kindle for inspiration, I love it too!

UsainWho Mon 29-Aug-16 21:41:46

Could you afford to pay for some personal training the first couple of times to give you confidence using the machines etc? It's really worth it IMO.

I can also promise you that I never really pay attention to anyone else at my gym and I have never ever ever known an instructor to call someone on doing the wrong move and making them go to the front! They might get your attention to correct you (so you don't hurt yourself!) but that's it. Front row is for the confident ones!

PikachuSayBoo Mon 29-Aug-16 21:41:54

I'm a size 18 and have just joined a gym. I think people are too busy concentrating on themselves to pay attention to others.

I had an intro session with one of the PTs and she says two years ago she was a size 18 and had never set foot in a gym!

Gormless Mon 29-Aug-16 21:42:34

I know it's more expense but would it help if you booked a couple of start-up sessions with a friendly personal trainer? They would show you how things work and you might feel a bit more confident: I know it helped me hugely when I started at the gym a year ago, with loads of fears similar to yours. Really good luck with this OP: it'll be well worth the effort.

Vvlgari Mon 29-Aug-16 21:48:49

There are a few women in hijabs in my local gym who I see there regularly. No-one bats an eyelid. Most people in gyms don't pay attention to the other people there.

Just get down there and do it. I am middle aged and fat, and I plug my headphones in, do my routine and I could not give a toss what anyone else thinks.

EmmaMacgill Mon 29-Aug-16 21:58:39

Go for it!! Everyone is there for their own reasons.
I'm a size 10 but with a jelly belly and as weak as a kitten. I find most people are concentrating on their own fitness. We all have our own hang ups and the gym bunnies are to busy staring at their own reflection to look at you.
The confidence you'll gain is amazing and it becomes less about gorgeous body and more about realising how much your body can achive

Katarzyna79 Tue 30-Aug-16 00:24:43

thank you people, you've given me more kind words than I expected!

im an avid reader so i'll look that book up too.

Cakedoesntjudge Tue 30-Aug-16 00:45:27

Just popping in with another vote for Jemima J! Love that book!

On a more helpful note - I started going to a gym about a year and a half ago, was terrified, got a personal trainer for a bit (the budget gyms are waaaay cheaper for that if you're on a budget like I am) and ended up loving it. Then due to health problems had to stop going for a few months and now feel back to square one - I have been saying for the last month or so I need to go back! I'm going to grit my teeth and go tomorrow.

What other people have said is true - no one pays you the slightest bit of attention and you feel so much better about yourself when you are going. Good luck OP grin

Katarzyna79 Tue 30-Aug-16 11:25:14

i used to work out at home. although this house is spacious there's no spare room and i dont fancy putting equipment in my bedroom, not before trying out a gym first.

ive got health issues too but there doesnt seem to be a cure so i'll work out every other day. as long as i dont sit around for more than 15 minutes during the day im fine. if i sit such fatigue overtakes me and aches i dont want to do anything. so i stay active until kids are in bed. There are worse off people than me, so i figure i have to just suck it up and carry on

Thefitfatty Tue 30-Aug-16 11:30:12

I've been working out most of my life, and even though I'm in pretty good shape I STILL feel self conscious when the young, thin, pretty things come in. But the feeling I get from a good workout totally trumps the self consciousness!

Just remember that everyone in the gym started at the same place you're at now. No one got fit overnight.

As for the hijab. I live in the Middle East so most of the women I see are rocking their hijabs at the gym. I don't notice it, and I don't think it's any different from the buffs I use to keep the sweat out of my eyes.

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